Cost of student accommodation, I could cry

[ElbowsUpRising]

So Dd has found out today she’s been accepted into Manchester and is looking at accommodation, of course all the stuff she likes is £260 a week. 51 week contract as well! It’s all the fancy, swish stuff though she is adamant the reason she wants the expensive stuff is because she’s prioritising her safety as she wants something close as she’s “terrified of getting raped” if she has to walk back to her digs late at night.

she won’t consider a house share, she won’t consider cheaper halls a bit further out.

so accommodation is looking at 13k a year! She will get minimum student loan so think that’s 5k.

she won’t be able to work partly due to her health- she has fibromyalgia but nowhere near bad enough for PIP. Also she will be doing architecture Masters which if anything like her undergraduate degree will be too full on to be able to work as well.

so we will need to find another 8k a year plus however much she will need per week for food, etc. I’m guessing over £50 a week. Nearer £100 a week? So another 5k. How the fuck do people find 13k a year?

im trying to impress on her the difference that cheaper accommodation will make on her (us) and she’s just going nuts and accusing me of risking her safety and putting her at risk of being raped!

Is £260 a week normal?

Kindly, where does it end? If she’s doing her masters, she’s at an age most students have graduated and landed their first job. What will she do when she’s working? Not many of us land a graduate job well paid enough to be able to afford fancy digs close to the office without sharing. Or is she assuming she will move back in with you/you will pay her rent then too? There seems to be far too much responsibility being placed on you here.

How will she learn the value of money and working hard if she gets all that she wants at no cost or compromise to herself?

Others have given good advice about self imposed curfews etc.

I’ve just been looking at bus timetables and it looks like buses to fallowfield campus where there is cheaper accommodation run through the night and it’s like a 15min journey.

Does she work through the holidays? Save up some money then. I assume her plan is to work at some point

If safety is her top priority why has she chosen a city centre uni like Manchester??

Seriously OP, I'd be giving her a budget you are able to contribute and sticking to that. DD1 is also starting a masters this autumn and we are having a serious debate about whether we'll be contributing at all (and to be fair to her, I don't think she's assuming we will be).

Slightly missing the point, but I know people with fibromyalgia which IS bad enough for PIP and they hold down full time jobs…. Sometimes, ‘needs must’ and people have to manage.

Will she make a miraculous recovery once qualified and be able to work? If not, the masters is a waste of not only her time, but also your money.

Think it’s time for some brutal honesty.

I will have 2 at uni next year, DD also looking at en suits but we’ve told her we’ll only fund for the cheapest and if she wants en suite she has to find the difference.

also no way would I fund PG study, that’s optional and totally their choice but not necessary. The only people I know that would pay could easily afford it.

you tell her what you will cover and it’s up to her what she goes for and how she’ll find the funds to pay.

I’ve no idea about postgrad loans. I don’t think shes eligible. An architecture masters is counted as an undergraduate degree for the purposes of student finance, think it’s the only one that is.

She can’t work as an architect without doing postgrad.

She can ‘want’ the posh accommodation, that doesn’t mean you have to agree to fund it!

What a revolting bit of emotional manipulation - pay for the fancy one or risk my getting raped. Pah. If she doesn’t feel safe in Manchester she can apply to somewhere she does feel safe. She needs to grow up.

What I mean is she isn’t bad enough for PIP as she can wash herself, feed herself. But she could well be too tired to do a really full on masters degree and work part time.

she would be ok just working once qualified.

DS only gets minimum loan. He is in a cheaper city but we only give him £100pm and pay his phone. He wants to be as independent as possible, so earns during the holidays to fund the following year. He lives for free at home during the holidays.

Could she not live at home again? I think if she wants to do the masters she might need to consider working for a year to save up to fund it, she can defer.

@ElbowsUpRising has she worked in holidays before now?

Well then you tell her what you can afford and she cuts her cloth. Why Manchester? Is there nowhere nearer /cheaper ? Equally Fallowfield is a sensible place to live, many students are based there.

dCs have had to look at cheaper cities to study as we just don’t have the funds. And will realistically be paying for another 6+ years.

She’s doing a masters, so she’s at least early 20s. There’s a limit to how much studying someone can do if they’re insisting someone else funds it, and she’s old enough to understand that.

This

I am not sure why your daughter would want to live in halls of residence if she has already completed a degree. My son is in his fourth year and is growing out of being a student - parties, noise..He is in a house share and has been since year 2. Nothing wrong with the accommodation you have found but full of 18 year olds. I would not find the money. I certainly wouldn't be blackmailed - using the idea of being raped is unacceptable.

DD currently in first year at Manchester. She chose as cheap as possible with en suite (Canterbury Court.) I am not going to lie - they are tiny dingy rooms but we were clear that she had to budget and she was fine with that. She has a part time job and gets the bus - feels safe. There is the odd whiff of danger from time to time like any big city- if ‘odd’ people or rowdy behaviour is something your daughter wants to avoid then she shouldn’t choose a big city option tbh.

My dd is in a house share. She has a great time with her house mates and they frequently go out together for drinks.
your dd is being demanding and a bit precious really. How does she think other students live ?

She may need a masters to work as an architect but it doesn’t mean you need to pay for it.

my son is about to start a masters next year which he is paying for by a mixture of loans, savings, and not spending money.

at the age where they are doing a masters funding it is their problem.

Ask her what her plans are for affording the luxury accommodation she wants.

I think she needs reigning in a bit. This hysteria over being raped is ott. Many unis have various accommodations at varying prices.
plus most only stay in halls the first year, then house share. Is she implying she won't re still rape threat.
I'd sit her down and calmly discuss options and what she's prepared to compromise and sacrifice.

I was at hulme hall in Manchester. It is 2 minutes from a bus stop on the oxford road and the buses run constantly during the day and into the night. Honestly it was safe as houses. She is being ridiculous and needs to grow up.

What a bratty little madam

Aren’t there any universities within commuting distance?

Dd chose a local university after we sat down and went through the finances. £13k a year is almost twice my mortgage payment!