DS gets £150 per week but runs out of money

[Laundryandtoil]

DS is a fresher in Cardiff (we are England). He gets the minimum maintenance loan which we top up so that he can pay for his halls accommodation. We then send him £150 a week, every Monday. I thought this was ample but he rang yesterday saying all his friends were going out to lunch and he had run out of money so could I transfer an extra £20 so he could join them. I did but was a bit surprised as I thought £150 a week would be plenty?

suggest they pool their resources, whatever they happen to be, meal plan, batch cook etc. like a family would. perhaps send him a few student cook books. there's a lot of them about for inexpensive and easy recipes.
there's also plenty of £1 meal cookery books, and the Jack Munroe ones are very good for ways to make tasty things out of cheap ingredients (the one I've got was written from the aim of recipes based on the sort of things you get in tins and packets from food banks)
to be spending that much, there are probably a lot of ready meals involved, so help him learn how cheap can also be easy, and with batch cooking you basically have a freezer full of ready meals.

it's nice that he's wanting to help his friend out, and sharing their food costs for home cooked, budget friendly food, he'd still be able to do that, but still spend less. also worth asking if there are cheaper supermarkets nearby, or making sure he's buying own brands rather than just automatically grabbing the famous ones at eye level.
also, encourage things like eating more veggie meals, as they are cheaper. and things like tinned green lentils are great for bulking out anything you make with mince.
in fact, whenever I make a chilli, I don't even use mince anymore at all. I use a tin of green lentils, a tin of kidney beans, and a tin of mixed taco beans instead. it's even more filling than with mince, so goes further, and makes a lot of servings for very little cost, so plenty to freeze for another time. you can have it with rice, chips, nachos, jacket potatoes, in a burrito, all sorts of ways.

thank you @TizerorFizz for picking up on my (tangential) comment on this thread that DS wants to do law conversion after his degree (in Modern Languages). He has joined the Law Soc but is prohibited from mooting as only for law undergrads. Is going to explore internships at law firms and CAB. He has a year abroad to plan as well as that is fundamental to a languages degree.

PS @TizerorFizz he knows he needs to get a first to pursue law conversion and that is the aim (although a high 2.1 from Cardiff might do but not optimal both in terms of degree class and uni). That’s one of the reasons I am funding him generously so he doesn’t need to get a term-time job and can study

They can still study and get a part time job. Uni hours are at best part time anyway leaving loads of extra time for study plus a few hours here and there to work. All our dcs friends have jobs, it's very much the norm. Yes top ups from parents here and there but not a weekly payment.

I don't think anyone's suggesting he gets a full time manual, exhausting job though. I worked in a supermarket during my degree, a few hours a week (and extra back home during the holidays) and it was ace- discount on food which was very handy, decent reference when I left (not related to my graduate job at all but lots of people now seem to graduate without having ever worked). With £150 of course he doesn't need to, that's plenty to have an active social life, not be stressing about meal planning etc; if he wants more then why not leave it to him to earn.

Exactly! Just 12hrs a week easy work in a shop or a bar would generate £500/£550 a month. They aren't school kids anymore doing full days with piles of homework. Lots of study is on-line anyway, tutors don't seem to do much face to face stuff.

OP didn’t actually ask about her son getting a job. If he has been spending nearly a third of his weekly money on someone else for the last few weeks, then without that, he is living within what he has been given.

It is silly to generalise and say practically everything is online, blah blah, because it depends on the subject and the university.

I don't think I said blah blah?

I suggested a job because most students have them. The op possibly isn't aware that uni hours and self study does not nearly equate to full time hours? If I were her I'd suggest he works and save the 150 a week for his future.

@Laundryandtoil Ignore the get a job posts. We funded DD enough to concentrate on study. She did MFL too and it’s more than a few hours a week! They have to learn MFLs to a high level and do all the essays. So it’s always more work than some degrees! He has the summer to work if he wants to. No need to in the term. I also think it’s ok to have a meal out with friends. It’s good he’s included. So stay as you are with money and just get him to guide the dc with no money towards assistance. It’s like being at the CAB! DD volunteered for them in GDL year.

She could not moot either but she was chair of a MFL society and was chair of a ball committee. So get a position of responsibility if he can. Choose year abroad carefully, DD went to the highest world ranked unis available. Going abroad is a fantastic experience and gives them so much independence. DD did some holiday work with a local solicitor and volunteered for the National Trust. It’s really good to do something but degree matters. If you want to DM me about MFL to barrister - please do.

I disagree.

Uni contact hours and self-study should be treated like a full-time job. Possibly you aren't aware, but just turning up to their 9 hours of contact time and doing the bare minimum of self-study isn't going to give you the best return on the investment. The OP's
son is going to need a first if he wants to do a law conversion so working properly at his degree and treating it like a full-time job is the sensible course of action.

He might be able to get a part-time job. I would dispute the idea that most uni students do though. Most don't and jobs aren't so easy to come by these days.

But if he wants to spend over what is a very generous and ample amount of spending money then the advice could be you can get a job to fund it- part of growing up. I don't think people are advocating OP stops paying him a penny and suggesting he should be out working, but £150 a week is a more than fair amount. If he can ask and get then he'll be less mindful and carry on spending it on others/whatever else.

Not nearly? It depends on what the student is studying. Some may exceed full time hours.

'Possibly you aren't aware, but just turning up to their 9 hours of contact time and doing the bare minimum of self-study isn't going to give you the best return on the investment.'

No I'm very aware. However tutored hours are minimum, self study seems to be more the done thing nowadays which is absolutely appalling as fees are extortionate. Plenty of free time despite doing over and above study wise, certainly not the bare minimum.

Anyway. He needs to learn how to budget or get a job <as most students do>.

Yes it very much depends on the course. DD1 slightly moans about having three full days of studio/tutorials/lectures when other students have nine hours, but I pointed out she is getting value for money for the tuition fees. And the way it's structured means she can pick up a work shift on a Friday.

She is lucky if she gets a full day with no on campus commitments. I do know some students who work in the evenings and at weekends, but even that can be difficult with lectures finishing at 7pm. That would not be every day of the week, I’ll admit.

This is STEM, the OP’s son’s language course is likely to be far more flexible.

Yes it is good that they arrange it that way. I think she finishes at 5pm or 6pm.

which is absolutely appalling as fees are extortionate

Universities lose money on home students - the fees have been frozen for years.

Mine wants to do the same , well he's thinking about it.

He sounds like a kind lad, helping his friend with food etc. By the 2nd year mine had turned into the cook of the house but they tended to all put money in

It's early days, I'd probably have a conversation with him about budgeting if asking for extra keeps happening after he's settled

So he's struggling on £600 a month, on top of having a maintenance loan of £5,000 per year. Have I read that correctly. If so, like Zamo - Just say "No!" You're taking the piss.

He is probably eating out most days. Even just buying lunch out everyday adds up quickly. You need to find out what he is spending on. If he is cooking some meals, etc

He might be picking up the tab for other people!

If he's in halls, that usually includes everything apart from food.

£150 sounds plenty but it depends what fixed expenses he has.

For context and maybe helpful - DD at uni gets £120 p/m and works 16 hrs p/w which is another £700 p/m. That has to cover everything apart from her phone and car insurance.

We don't pay for anything else and she would only ask for extra in emergencies. She buys her own clothes, toiletries etc, pay her club fees including when they travel for races, kit, etc, she goes on holiday every year abroad, this summer she self funded her placement abroad (everything apart from accomodation, which was covered) and she regularly adds to her savings.

We were very open and honest with her when she applied for uni away from home as to what we could afford. Maybe have a chat with your DS and set some ground rules - eg asking for extra, budgeting so he doesn't run out of money, being realistic (if he hasn't got funds for a lunch out then he can't go).

And if he hasn't had to before uni, maybe budgeting is the challenge. Offer help - there are excellent resources online to give basic but really useful ideas. And he should think about a job. It will be good for him and may help with job applications when he's home for summer and after he leaves uni.

It was a few £££ extra! Not hundreds and hundreds!

Of course students who are looking for high grade degrees in MFLs have to do more than contact hours @Gloriia . If you haven’t done one, I guess you don’t know how much effort is required to learn languages and read the books in the target language. It is a lot more work than quite a few degrees because MFLs are involved. So that doubles the work. They never have been degrees where self study wasn’t required. In terms of a career afterwards, that’s a good thing.

What's wrong with students moving back in with parents at the end of their studies?

I did for a short while when I finished my degree. Both of my DDs did too as they had nowhere else to go and were looking for proper, full time jobs. A very large number of students have to do this.

Was I supposed to have flung them out with nowhere to go once their time in uni accommodation came to an end? Seriously?

@MadMadaMim
Your DD has a better income than many working people, with £700pm wages £480 is very generous top up, moreso than OPs son.