DS gets £150 per week but runs out of money

[Laundryandtoil]

DS is a fresher in Cardiff (we are England). He gets the minimum maintenance loan which we top up so that he can pay for his halls accommodation. We then send him £150 a week, every Monday. I thought this was ample but he rang yesterday saying all his friends were going out to lunch and he had run out of money so could I transfer an extra £20 so he could join them. I did but was a bit surprised as I thought £150 a week would be plenty?

Not if he has then run out and is asking for more. He wanted an extra £20 this week which the OP gave him.

It definitely isn’t!
Sainsbury’s is expensive and you’re encouraging his spending for goodness sake!
He needs to be heading for Aldi or Lidl.

I think I would give him the £20, give him £140 the next two weeks so it nets out as no extra and have a serious word about budgeting. It is nice of him to help his friend but a bit naive not to realise that he couldn’t afford it at that level, unless he wanted to cut back elsewhere.

It sound like he would be within budget if he didn’t sub his friend or only bought him pasta, sauce and cornflakes each week.

fyi now he's living in wales he doesn't have to pay for prescriptions...if he hasn't already make sure he gets signed up to a local GP

It's a real learning curve, isn't it, sending them off to uni!

Whatever you can afford and think your son needs is up to you. Some parents can be more generous than others! And it sounds like your son is doing a lovely thing helping this other lad out, it's really heartwarming! What a lovely lad you've got there.

It sounds as if the 2 of them really represent the 2 ends of the scale here doesn't it?

I think you're being generous, I'll be honest, and I think the weekly thing is too much, a monthly or even termly budget might be better. But, it's not my money or my son! And whatever you've done so far has produced a thoughtful young man, who is generous and willing to help a friend in need, so, why change anything?

You're obviously well off OP so can afford the amount you are giving your DS. I can't believe that you also still pay for his pnone, car costs and clothes. Your DS is very lucky.

My daughter lives on £50 a week and she doesn't get any other money .

I think your son needs to learn to budget better .. that's £600 a month! Madness!

Mine gets accommodation paid for in the same way you do

Then £460 a month, less on the months she's come home lots

She's in a cheaper town but not much

He has to budget or get a job...

I didn’t know this - thank you! I think he has registered with Welsh GP now but will check.

Sounds like he's living the way he seen it done when at home, a student getting Sainsbury deliveries and parents giving him £150pw plus paying phone, clothes and car costs.
Plus sending top ups!!
He's no need to budget, he sounds very spoiled and entitled.

Some proper sneering on this thread. It’s sad. DS is a hard-working, kind, sociable 18 y.o. from a state school background. He is not entitled at all but maybe I am guilty of giving him a bit too much money. I just wanted him to have the best time at uni without too much financial pressure so that he is able to seize every opportunity that comes his way. He knows he is lucky for sure.

Anyway, I will have to think about what budget to set in future - particularly as I have a DS in year 13 and a DD in year 11 who I will also need to put through uni!

over and out and thanks to most of you for thoughtful posts.

I agree OP. It is up to in what way you want to support DS.

He sounds like a kind and thoughtful boy, caring towards his friend.

It's great that you are able to support him, and I'm sure you'll find a way forward to support your other DC.

he needs to learn how to deal with that but sometimes our expenditure is not spread evenly from one week to a next.

As a student he likely doesn’t have a car so you tend to be dependent on the shops within walking distance so can’t be choosy.

He needs to get a little job

I think it depends. My DC gets the same £150 p/w but her accomodation includes half board although the meal times sometimes conflict with course lab times. In addition, the shared kitchens really really suck and the storage is teeny tiny so it isn’t easy to cook meals from scratch. So they do end up buying convenience food that is easy to warm up.

I think if the £150 p/w is to cover all food, it is likely not enough.

Lols that he’s skint because he spent it all on text books and joining the physics society.

£150 is plenty. £20 out for a student lunch is an absolute piss take. You can get a burger and a pint in Weatherspoons for about £12.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice
£150pw for food for one person isn't enough???
@LiquoriceAllsorts2
He has a car that mummy pays for but left it at home.

If you are can afford it and are happy to pay £150 a week that's fine but he needs to start budgeting

I'm going to assume he's spending it all on alcohol and take aways/ready meals instead of cooking

Nope. Not when you don’t have a decent kitchen or anywhere to store food. My DD doesnt even have one shelf in a fridge and only enough freezer room for a small bag of peas

If it’s at home then he can’t use it for shopping.
theres a good chance he doesn’t have parking (or only very expensive parking at university) so it isn’t practical to have it.

It’s not 150 for food. It’s for food, socialising, travel costs, other general living costs

My DD also has to pay £2 per clothes wash and £4 per tumble dry (rooms are too small to hang dry everything and their windows only open 2cm and are forbidden from being open when they aren’t in the room.

I dont think it’s supposed to be all for food. Nothing wrong with alcohol for some of it

Laundry alone eats up 10% of her allowance. Oh and, her prescription prepayment card, her bus fares, and her student contents insurance.