DS gets £150 per week but runs out of money

[Laundryandtoil]

DS is a fresher in Cardiff (we are England). He gets the minimum maintenance loan which we top up so that he can pay for his halls accommodation. We then send him £150 a week, every Monday. I thought this was ample but he rang yesterday saying all his friends were going out to lunch and he had run out of money so could I transfer an extra £20 so he could join them. I did but was a bit surprised as I thought £150 a week would be plenty?

I don't think he sounds spoilt or entitled. I think it sounds like he made a mistake of being kinder than he could afford to be and thus getting drawn into supporting his friend.

My DD too had her phone paid for by us during her student years and for a few months afterwards while she paid down her student overdraft with some part time local shift work. I also paid for ad hoc other expenses such as the odd repair to her car etc. Maybe some on here might well say that I have produced a spoilt and entitled brat by doing that but I don't care what they think. I know that isn't true and I haven't.

My DD now has a regular job and a fairly reasonable income so is just now starting to pay for herself. That has only come about in the last couple of months though and she graduated in July. Rome wasn't built in a day after all. 😉

Ignore the sneery posts. You know your DS, and he sounds lovely.

I never said there was but if he's running out of money then he needs to start cutting the spending somehow . Mine spends nowhere near that on food , but he loves to cook and isn't shopping in sainsbury

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice
You seriously believe one person needs over £150pw just for food if they don't have a nice kitchen?
What planet are you on?
I'll assume you've never been on a budget.

He needs to get a job. You post made me angry because I am actually jealous of him! I had to cover all my expenses on my own (rent and fees from student loan) which left me in the negative, so I had to work.

Getting his bills paid and pocket money on top of this blows my mind.

It’s not just for food. Is your webpage not showing all my posts.
How much you need does depend on what sort of kitchen facilities you have access to.

I will assume you don’t know how to budget properly.

I also couldn’t get the full loans to cover my studies and worked full time while going to Uni, but that doesn’t mean I want to drag OP’s DS down to what I went through to get my degrees. We should want better for our DC than what we had, or better for next generation than what we had.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice
when I asked if you thought £150pw wasn't enough for food for one person your reply
Nope. Not when you don’t have a decent kitchen or anywhere to store food.
Your own words, I very good at budgeting and feed 3 adults on £100pw

@Mirabai not really she was sending the other boy off to the food bank!

Has he joined the rugby society? I can guarantee that if he has a large part of his budget will be swelling the coffers of the SU on a Wednesday night.

@Mirabai not really she was up for sending the poor boy off to the food bank, your mistaking her money for kindness! Have you ever seen Robin Hood?

Well I am sure you are able to cook large batches (not possible in my DC’s uni kitchen), have ample room for food storage & pantry (not possible..) so you can buy in bulk at bulk prices. You likely don’t have to take a bus and physically carry everything you eat by hand for miles. You likely are not sharing a two hob hot plate and microwave with 8 other people (that’s their “kitchen”).

It is a lot, but gets eaten up quickly

does he have to pay for medications/subs/haircut/travel

clothes?

my son is in 2nd yr and had said he can’t take a job as the coursework has really intensified which I believe

I agree, and I wouldn’t want my children to be saddled with the loans I have (and am still paying off to this day)

But… IMO £150 a week is generous and it seems like they might not be responsible with it. I do think there is a lesson to be learned here.

I have a DD who has just done her first year in halls and I can assure you she did not spend £150pw on food, her budget for food was £50pw.
Imagine you were in homeless accommodation where you're lucky to have a microwave you mostly certainly don't have £150 to spend on food in a month never mind a week, so stop with the hardship of living in halls means you need £150 food budget.

Since when is what the homeless who are dying at record rates the bar for what is needed?

I said it depends on other factors that affect the cost of food.

@SnoopysHoose
When I was homeless, I was on the streets and in a tent in a park. Didn’t have the luxury of accomodation, a toilet, running water or electricity.

What is the point of your Monty Python he is lucky, when we were young we dreamed of living in a cardbox box in the road routine?

@horrorcicada You are going to be giving waaaay more if your DC don’t take loans!

@Laundryandtoil This is NM! DC live on peanuts. They work every hour and live like hermits! My DC didn’t. My DD converted to law. Make sure your DS understands about internships and holiday jobs before he does this. No need to work for money in term time. What he needs to do is get a high grade for his degree and take it from there. Go to all the law careers events and network!

He's been buying groceries for his friend whose parents won't top up his maintenance grant. I don't think he sounds very spoiled and entitled.

There are lots of posts from parents on Wiwikau about their sons and daughters not making friends, feeling depressed and isolated. The advice is always get yourself out there, join societies, play a sport, accept any invites etc. Reading some of these replies makes me wonder if those children are parented by people who keep them short of money to give them a life lesson. All those activities cost money.
We don't give £150p/w, as we don't have it. But we try our best and we give weekly money to one child as that's what she prefers. I want them to have a good experience and have a decent amount of time to study. I went to college on a shoestring, it wasn't character building, it was fucking miserable and it affected my final grades. Plus lots of us were in the same boat, it's absolutely not the case now.
There's also a bit of an odd disparity between all those MNers with kids at top unis, which are invariably in expensive cities, yet they seem to live on tiny allowances 🤷‍♀️

Whilst that is true my daughter (she’s an independent student on a tight budget as she’s a bit older) is managing to get out there on minimal money.

she has joined two societies with minimal fees but buys herself one beer/cider and drinks water the rest of the night. Or she volunteers to be the designated sober person (it’s a thing apparently).

you don’t need to spend lots of money to socialise.

£150 sounds a lot. They do spend more in the first term though as they're going out now and also have societies to pay for. Plus might not have nailed how to shop and we'll and make best use of leftovers or pack sizes designed for a family. Before my DD went to uni, we worked out a budget based on what things cost. Food, laundry, toiletries, bus fare. I was able to give more, for a buffer, and to allow for moderate socialising. But if she'd wanted to drink more and eat our all the time, I expected her to subsidise that with her savings.

that should be plenty. (more than plenty, I get less in my carers allowance)
give him some budgeting tips, and tell him if he really NEEDS more, occasionally, then you are willing to help, but he'll need to send you a copy of his bank statement, and account for what he's spent it all on to need extra.

right! the stereotype that students live on pot noodles and beans on toast doesn't come from nowhere.

when you're first learning how to manage your own costs, it is a bit of a learning curve, but most students do tend to get into the cheap and easy food mindset at some point. even if that IS so they can prioritise keeping their money for nights out.