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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

DS gets £150 per week but runs out of money

258 replies

Laundryandtoil · 28/10/2024 14:40

DS is a fresher in Cardiff (we are England). He gets the minimum maintenance loan which we top up so that he can pay for his halls accommodation. We then send him £150 a week, every Monday. I thought this was ample but he rang yesterday saying all his friends were going out to lunch and he had run out of money so could I transfer an extra £20 so he could join them. I did but was a bit surprised as I thought £150 a week would be plenty?

OP posts:

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 28/10/2024 14:59

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 28/10/2024 14:55

I think you need to get an idea of what it’s gone on. If he had initial upfront costs for books/store cupboard basis/ membership fees/ items for his room etc then I could see him running out quickly at the start if he gets money each week.
maybe giving him money monthly is better and easier for him to budget with.
he does need to learn to budget better and he can’t just go for lunch whenever he wants though. It’s a learning curve

I think giving money monthly would lead to a great social life for two weeks then he will want subbing for the remainder of the month.

TerfTalking · 28/10/2024 15:00

if he has run out of money then he’s not spending his allowance on an Aldi shop is he? He’s eating takeaways and going out. I’ve had two at uni, next time say no, only one way to learn and it isn’t the way you’re doing it.

MidnightMeltdown · 28/10/2024 15:02

He's taking the piss. Tell him that part of the student experience is learning how to budget.

WombatChocolate · 28/10/2024 15:05

I think you need to have a chat and tell him the weekly amount is the limit….and they will not be extras.

In an ideal world he would have the money monthly or termly. My DS has his money termly and seems to understand that some weeks might be more expensive (ie freshers etc) but then you need to have a cheaper week to compensate. However, perhaps he’s not ready for that.

Did you talk about how much he would have budgeting etc before he went and make clear that he can’t keep ringing for extras?

And I agree that £20 for a student lunch is a lot. There are all kinds of deals and it should be possible to have lunch and a drink for under £10.

crumblingschools · 28/10/2024 15:07

DS works through the holidays to build up his funds for term time. Currently he gets minimum loan and £100 per month from us (he didn't want us topping up the amount) We do help with car expenses and pay mobile phone on top

AlohaRose · 28/10/2024 15:09

I think you need to have a serious chat with him actually. You are subbing him a huge sum of money each week and I bet if he had expensive text books etc to buy you'd have heard all about it! Assuming he has a student bank account he will also have been handed a generous overdraft (not that he should already need to use that) but if he is asking for £20 for lunch rather than dipping into that then I think he needs reining in quickly before he gets himself into proper debt. And I agree with people asking why he needs £20 for lunch?! Sounds like he needs a wake-up call to the reality of being a student.

jamimmi · 28/10/2024 15:10

I think your being very generous. Ds graduated for Liverpool this summer. Loan paid accomodation, I paied phone and sent £220 a month to cover food and necessities. He had a summer / holiday job to cover socialising and got no money when home from us. He graduated without an overdraft!

TossedSaladandSE · 28/10/2024 15:11

My DS realised fairly quickly he'd have to cook his own meals to save money but he has great flatmates in halls to hang out in the kitchen with

LauraAshleyDuvetCover · 28/10/2024 15:11

I think it depends a bit. While it should be plenty of money, the beginning of the year with textbooks, club fees, something for your kitchen you didn't realise you were missing can take a lot of money. Later on it's much easier to save some each week and budget.

Things like competitions and welcome weekends away will be starting to be organised around now as well. Even pre-covid a meet or competition could cost £70-80, and I think costs for petrol will only have gone up so that could easily wipe out a lot of his weekly allowance.

Tapping you for extra money can't happen every week of course, but I'd check if he's having big one-off costs and whether it would be easier for him to have a larger amount monthly. I.e. £600 is fine but it's the distribution that's the issue, or whether he's regularly overspending.

He could look for a part-time job for extra money, or work next summer to build up savings.

Comefromaway · 28/10/2024 15:11

Wow, that's a LOT of money he's getting.

My son also gets minimum loan. He too uses that on rent and we top it up.

We then give him around £65 per week to live on. To be fair he opted to have it over 12 months rather than only term time so we give him less but over a longer period Ter time only it would work out at around £75 per week.

He needs to either cut his spending or get a part time job. My son often goes out to lunch/tea with his mates. They go to Spoons and he has a meal and a drink deal that costs about £10.

NigelDebster · 28/10/2024 15:12

I agree that accommodation costs plus £150 per week is a lot. My dcs get the minimum maintenance loan as their spending money (for food, going out etc) and we only pay for their accommodation.

ScrummyDiva2 · 28/10/2024 15:14

I have a daughter also at Cardiff. She gets £250 per month and still manages to eat well and socialise! He definitely needs to learn to budget.

Procrastinates · 28/10/2024 15:15

He's at university now he needs to start learning to say no and if he can't afford these things then unfortunately he can't afford them.

I would also be incredibly sceptical that it had gone on books.

Comefromaway · 28/10/2024 15:17

As for textbooks. No-one really buys textbooks anymore. Everything is either available on line or in the library. Most universities provide access to online resources/journals etc.

Panicmode1 · 28/10/2024 15:19

I have two uni students who live on less ..one significantly less because he has an insane timetable and is at Oxbridge and the other is a big party animal and is at a RG in a city.

I think as everyone else has said, he has to budget better and/or get a PT job.

(Ours both get the minimum loan which they live on - we pay accommodation and bung money for the odd train journey home/large expenses for sport or IT stuff - but other than that they have to work, or spend less. Both have jobs one in the holidays, and the other works both term time and holidays - which is good for their CVs too).

murasaki · 28/10/2024 15:21

In terms of money, my parents gave mine fortnightly in my first year, then monthly after that (and it was made clear that that was it, no top ups) so i got into budgeting gradually and ended up with the same frequency a salary would be. He's got to learn at some point, but it's only a few weeks in. Now he's had a wake up call, and the partying will slow down a bit, hopefully he'll be more sensible.

widelegenes · 28/10/2024 15:21

What sort of halls is it? Catered or self-catered?
He's been away for a few weeks already, yes? Is this the first time he's asked for a bit extra?
When you say 'ample', what does this include? Food, transport, beginning of term stuff (subs, equipment etc)?

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 28/10/2024 15:22

dd hasnt bought any textbooks. All resources seem to be on line.

TianasBayou · 28/10/2024 15:23

I've said this before many times, that what works for us is that I pay rent and the student lives off the minimum loan and anything they earn or have saved.

This means that I take the hit on the ridiculous price of student accommodation.
And they know exactly what they have to live on and manage perfectly well budgeting on a termly basis.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/10/2024 15:23

Has he needed to buy a lot of expensive textbooks? Those can really eat into funds at the start of the academic year. I still remember back in the Dark Ages having to pay 32/6d (£1.62 IIRC) for just one essential textbook - out of my £9 a week that had to cover food, accommodation, everything.

RestitutionGranted · 28/10/2024 15:24

It’s a slippery slope. I’d nip it in the bud. If he can’t afford to go out for a £20 lunch, so be it. He has to miss it. Lesson learned.

cestlavielife · 28/10/2024 15:24

No.
Dd got 400 a month while her loan paid the accommodation costs.
He will have to wait til his next regular top up from you to go out.
Next month, he will budget better.

GiraffeTree · 28/10/2024 15:24

That sounds like a lot to me. We're giving DS £50 per week on top of his accommodation costs (although to be fair he's in catered accommodation so he doesn't have to pay for food).

Original poster

Laundryandtoil · 28/10/2024 15:25

We gave him an extra £300 for freshers which he used to pay for societies (he has joined four!). No books needed so far BUT I think I have got to the bottom of it! I just looked at his online Sainsbury’s groceries account and saw that he was spending £90 a week on food! I just got hold of him and he has basically been adding all of another flatmates groceries to his shop - and paying for it. He says the flatmate is not getting any money at all from his parents and will pay him back when he gets a job (which he is looking for apparently). I don’t want this other lad to go hungry but don’t think my son should be doing this….

OP posts:

rainfallpurevividcat · 28/10/2024 15:25

We give DD1 £500 a month between us, but that is to cover the accommodation top up after student loan then anything left is extra (so we give her £5,000 over ten months in total, about £1,800 of that is to go on accommodation) but she also has a job earning £120-£150 a week and ££££ saved from her year out.

What you are giving him sounds about right, OP, but there are probably more costs to begin with and he needs to learn to budget and not to keep asking for extra.

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