DS gets £150 per week but runs out of money

[Laundryandtoil]

DS is a fresher in Cardiff (we are England). He gets the minimum maintenance loan which we top up so that he can pay for his halls accommodation. We then send him £150 a week, every Monday. I thought this was ample but he rang yesterday saying all his friends were going out to lunch and he had run out of money so could I transfer an extra £20 so he could join them. I did but was a bit surprised as I thought £150 a week would be plenty?

Ah, so he's a nice kid, and that's great, but he does need to stop that. The flatmate can apply for hardship funds from the university.

I don't think it's way out if hes a first year. The first few weeks is really expensive. DS lives on minimum maintenance loan which is £4700ish and is therefore about £150 a week for the 31 weeks of term time. Most of his friends also live on the minimum maintenance loan.

That'll be it then. It's very kind of him to subsidise others but it's also not his money!

Not fir him to fund his flatmate unless it's cheap pasta. basics range and some beans. 90 a week is not sainsbury basics range is it?

https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/sainsburys-rigatoni-tubes-italian-500g is 69pence. What is he buying?

Honestly as lovely as he thinks he's being I doubt his flatmate can't afford to buy food, presumably this mate is also going out for dinner?

It's very easy to be so carefree when it's not your money. He's spending is honestly ridiculous, he's blown through £300 plus £150 a week and he's only been there 5 minutes.

Why don't you split the money uo and send him £50 at a time say on a Mon, Weds and Fri? That way he'll always have some money but not be able to blow it all in a couple of days.

I'm in two minds. Was going to say give him his money on Fridays. But then, he may blow through it in the weekend and ask you for money for food by Monday! Could you split the money? £75 Friday and £75 monday? So he has fun money for the weekend and then money for the rest of the week on Monday.

It is a decent amount of money you're giving him tho. He does need to learn how to manage it better, but while he's learning that, maybe try splitting it.

Problem is not all sports/societies are well funded. If you can't compete then you're definitely less valuable to the club, and probably won't be selected again or get the the same opportunities as the teams which is a bit miserable to be honest.

That's why if it's a case of a few big expenses early on when he hasn't built up savings then I'd be inclined to help out.

If it was constant or he was frittering money away on excessive drinking and takeaways then I wouldn't.

If his flatmate's food is paid for by your son, it'll have to be beans, pasta, tinned toms, cheap mince etc. Beggars can't shop in the posh aisle. I doubt he'll pay it back. He does need to call a halt to this.

DS is living at home whilst studying - luckily the course he wanted to do was local. We pay for essentials like clothes, travel (bus pass), books, course expenses and society membership, at which point he pays for other things, although he can always make food at home. He gets £200 a month - and works on the 'meet and greet' squad for various open days to get anything more.

At the very least, he needs to be switching to a cheaper supermarket. I’d send him £20 but make it clear that is the last time and tell him he’ll have to tell his flat mate he can’t buy him any more bits of food.

It’s hard managing a budget for the first time but £90 a week is more than I spend of groceries in a week for a family of 4.

Sorry, took me ages to type that and cross-posted.

It sounds like he's being lovely but he can't keep doing that. Cooking for both of them one night, and letting him use some of his milk fine, doing all his shopping as well isn't sustainable.

I was going to say give him 100 on Mondays for food/ travel etc. Then on Friday evening 50 to get him through the weekend. He needs to go with his new friend and find a job. Even a few hours would increase his spending money in a big way. It takes them a while to settle into a routine and hopefully his first few shops will provide him with some staples to see him through a few weeks.

He needs to learn to manage his money.

Just for comparison, according to the Bank of England's inflation calculator I went through student life on the equivalent of, after rent, about £60/week to cover everything apart from being taken to and fro each term by my parents.

Anything else I wanted to spend I had to earn.

I had a bloody good time.

Cooking together and a few extra bits for his friend could be ok. But it sounds like friend isn’t budgeting either. Ds being v generous and lovely but agree it’s not sustainable.

OP, why have you got access to his online Sainsbury's grocery account? Does he know you're checking it (well he does now).

Your son can be a good friend by helping his flatmate engage with the hardship fund people, and certainly make sure he doesn't go hungry - but not to the tune of a large chunk of his own money. I wonder did the flatmate's parents think their son had food provided somehow, or has the flatmate gone through his own money (earned over the summer?).

I wonder what he's buying. When I was a student mumble years ago, I mostly lived off toasties, jacket potatoes, pasta Bolognese etc, frozen chicken pieces, frozen veg. It was nutritionally fine and not too expensive. It wouldn't have occurred to me to buy steak, for example.

I got access to his online Sainsbury’s account coz he gave it to me so I could set up an Anytime Delivery pass for him (which costs me about £7 a month I think).

I didn’t know about hardship funds so will suggest my son talks to his friend about this. From what I gather, his parents think he should just be able to survive on the minimum loan and he used up all his savings topping that up to pay for accommodation, leaving him with zilch until he gets a job.

Having previously asked re expenses - my son came back this weekend having run through his terms maintenance grant ( We pay accom/clothing) this is for food and socializing. He is in an expensive city ( Not London) and is a member of a sports society where he does all his socializing. He broke his expenses down and it came to £160 a week - he's raided his CTF to get him to Christmas and has been told in no uncertain terms to get a job!! I was at Uni £30 yrs ago and my family gave me £100 a week for the same, am realizing now i was quite lucky!!!

My son gets £80 a week - that should be more than enough if they budget

Too late; OP's already sent the extra, and now it turns out the DS is funding his flatmate as well

Whether the flatmate's as skint as he says or has seen an opportunity is probably unknowable, but personally I'd be advising both of them to get some part time work and reining this in before it gets any worse

This might help the friend? I've worked in universities for over 20 years and it's always worth asking. if he tells them his parents aren't topping up it's a good argument.

https://www.cardiffstudents.com/advice/money/emergencymoney/

Cardiff is a capital city, not a "student town"

And if all your mates who you've known only a few weeks are going somewhere specific, you're not going to say "how about Greggs instead"

Is the £20 to cover the flatmate’s lunch too?