My son not thriving at Cambridge

[Masalamother]

My son is 1st year at Cambridge and got all A stars at A levels. He was so pleased to get offer but reality is different. His school friends at other universities doing same course (Durham and Nottingham) have much less work and more fun time. He says they are getting firsts in assessments but he is only getting a 2.1 - even though he topped them easily at school. His course is harder - 2 essays a week whereas they do one a fortnight. He was always told to apply for the best university but now thinks he should have gone to a lesser one as degree class is what counts. I don’t know what to say to him. He probably should have had a year out because he seems very burnt out and disillusioned… All degrees are not the same - he/we never realised that! The advice of his teachers to “be aspirational” was simplistic

a 2:1 from Cambridge would still be pretty impressive!

I’m sure you’ll support him with whatever he wants to do, you’d never think it from some of the posts on here but it is actually possible to have a decent life and career without either a first class degree or an Oxbridge one.

@Masalamother are you going to come back to the thread to let us know how things are now?

Needmoresleep you were most emphatically not in the group of posters I was talking about! I would hope that there were far more pleasant parents at top schools than the opposite (the sort I've occasionally encountered on these threads). Your advice over the years has been standout helpful, thoughtful and measured.

Also just to say I used the word 'redirection' (and in inverted commas) because that's become the habit on the HE threads and I didn't want to cause offence by causing the other more direct r word.

Awwww

@Needmoresleep I too have found your posts sensible & measured. I agree with you about non-Oxbridge places suiting many students better - my younger DD has positively bloomed at her uni. @Karolinska that's so sweet about your DS4. Whenever I have seen him over the last couple of years and I ask after you, his face always lights up. Has he completed his DPhil? That's quick - his former classmate needs to pull her finger out instead of jaunting across Asia!

I don't know if it was the first year the "redirection" word was used a lot but I certainly was amongst those finding it useful the year my eldest applied to uni. She's thriving where she is and despite my fears about her managing deadlines/matching the work to the available time, she was right that a predominantly coursework degree is suiting her.

DS is first year Cambridge maths, and appears to have only recently understood or accepted that you really are meant to memorise some theorems and results so that you don't have to work out everything from first principles every time ... (Shades of his electrical engineer grandfather who sadly died when DS was not quite old enough to start learning from him)

We don't hear a lot from him; I'm hoping to glean a little more over the summer as to how he's really doing ...

I have appreciated all replies to my post although some diverge from main issue! Thank you. My DS has talked a lot to his Director of Studies who has been very helpful and said that a significant minority of Cambridge students change their course after Y1. DS will be switching to History (from HSPS). Equally importantly, his DoS told him to stop comparing his potential degree class to other unis - she literally said “every academic and employer knows a 2.1 from Cambridge equates to a 1st anywhere else”. I know some posters here said my DS and I were naive for not realising that but we truly didn’t.

I hope my DS will enjoy more in year 2 studying History and I now have to look out for his sister in year 12 who wants to study languages but has been told by school that is not a good idea as courses are being withdrawn

You prompted me to - see update. I was a bit confused by direction my post took so I stayed away but I should not have done as, whatever I thought of answers, you were all kind to reply and I appreciate

Great news @Masalamother - I hope he will be much happier in his second year.

Good luck with your DD - I studied languages ( Russian and French) but ended up as a property professional where having those languages allowed me to work abroad. Sadly, that wouldn't be the case for Russia now, but depending on the languages, I think the school is perhaps limiting her. That said, it may be that a languages degree is a step on a journey, rather than a destination.....

Thank you for the update, it’s always good when the OP takes on board the construction advice and it results in a successful outcome.

That’s really good, OP. I think most students are happier in Y2 and I very much hope DS is amongst them

About DD: there have been several threads on MFL recently. Many success stories, either directly using MFL for career or opening doors to good graduate schemes. I am in STEM but support MFM programmes as a marker of a civilised society

However the school are sadly correct. MFL programmes are contracting like nobody’s business. I imagine they are safe for a while at Oxbridge but I am not sure where else. There was just a thread about a DC who cannot get a German language module a big Russell Group uni next year. Some important languages are gone from my highly ranked place although French, Spanish and German are okay for now

DD could certainly do the degree but she won’t have the choices of 15 years ago. MFL is the canary in the coal mine

OP if your daughter is Oxbridge standard and interested in MFL she may find it easier to get in! They are struggling for quality applications at the moment in MFL

Or if she aiming for Oxbridge, rumour is that it is easier to get in for, say, history and German, or English and French, than either History or English. Less competition, the Universities are keen to keep their language departments alive, and having a language adds an extra dimension to both the subject and to employment applications.

Sorry about the thread divert, and well done to your son.

My husband done languages at uni many years ago. He says now he wished he'd done something else as google translate is massively used and there isn't much need for languages in today's world. Good luck to your children.

I don't know about being easier to get in, but I read a language joint honours with a humanities subject in my first degree (Oxford) and I would say it's the best of both worlds as you don't have any compulsory papers for finals, you get a completely free choice and can specialise in what you like. I was the envy of my peers in both subjects who got landed with various restrictions. As a teacher, I have always recommended it as a pathway to my students.

I know people teaching languages at Oxford now. I wouldn't say they're in any immediate danger of contracting.