I'm feeling like uni just isn't an option for our children. It's made me very sad.

[F0XCUBs]

In tears this morning. We have two bright children. One would go to uni next year. But we can't afford it. We are middle income rather than very low or high. They would get a loan but it wouldn't cover all the rent at most unis.
DH says they have to go to local uni or do an apprenticeship and that is that. DD would really like to go to a new place from where we live.
Yes I know we should have prepared for this for years, I'm sorry I really didn't know we were expected to contribute £300-500 per month! We didn't go to uni. Between us we earn about £50.000. But don't have spare money left over.
I know they could get jobs but dd1 has applied for twelve jobs in our town and not got one. She is autistic and lacks social skills so I don't think we can rely on her getting one. Especially if there are thousands of other kids applying for the same part time jobs.
How do people afford it?! It seems so unfair that we can't give them the opportunity
When DS wants to go we definitely can't afford two lots of that money

It sounds to me that if there is a decent local uni, that would be a good option for her and she could work up to moving out in a year or two if it was going to be workable then. In places like Glasgow, lots of kids stay at home during their degree. It wasn’t an option where I lived (I was in the wilds of Scotland 😁) so I think my DC are quite fortunate that they have this option available. I certainly didn’t.

If your daughter is autistic she should be entitled to disabled students allowance, which covers extras required due to disability - such as needing more expensive rent for better suited accommodation.

Thank you. We used to practice being polite! Maybe we can do practice interviews! Great idea

Right- so she IS choosing based on course, and on campus site. That’s good! You made it sound like she was totally passive.

Just look up what the accommodation costs are at each uni she’s interested in. That’s a start.

Another vote here for a degree apprenticeship, where the tuition costs wouldn't be an issue, and working while she studies could also open up a new world for her and offer more future options

Yes they're competitive, but then so are IT jobs and there seems little point in everyone lashing out tens of thousands if it's not going to help her access what she most wants to do

If you don't try then you'll never know if they're hard to get or not. I'm a bit perplexed by your defeatist attitude, you need to be a bit more pragmatic. OK so you didn't plan before but that doesn't mean you can't explore the different options suggested instead of coming up with why you can't do xy or z.

Also, her difficulties with autism would also entitle her to potentially getting DSA whilst doing an Open University degree or another distance learning university course.

There are some open days now but that also doesn't stop you visiting the town/city/campus, there are self guided tours too.

UCAS deadline is January 2024 so she has time to research, you can look too. Accommodation costs vary, usually first year is the most expensive and they usually house share in 2nd and 3rd year. Accommodation costs are on the uni websites, an excel sheet is a good idea.

Ds gets minimum loan of £4.5k ish and we top him up to the full loan so it costs us just over £5k per year for him. Remortgaging to release £30k to cover both your children would be worth looking into. Also possibly increasing the term to give yourself some breathing room. At least this gives your children options to choose to stay close to home or not.

Ds is doing computer science and the degree definitely helps with jobs in that field because their knowledge base is there.

I have friends who didn't go to uni, they also thought the loans covered everything and didn't realise they were based on household income. An eyeopener especially for those who have remarried and now the step Dad's income is taken into consideration.

Is she declaring her disability when she applies for jobs? There might be some adjustments that people could put in place for the interview process if she’s always getting the same feedback.

@F0XCUBs leicester is very reasonably priced for students and accommodation - the uni is smaller than some and very friendly too

Has your Dd looked into teaching coding online? There are any numbers of kids coding clubs which offer sessions in person and online, so she could approach those?

IMO there is a HUGE gap opening between "scholar" universities, and those that provide qualifications.

Is she declaring her disability when she applies for jobs? There might be some adjustments that people could put in place for the interview process if she’s always getting the same feedback.

She didn't for most of them, do you really think it would help get an interview?

@F0XCUBs if your DD is good with computers then perhaps she can find some kind of employment using those that will pay a lot more than McDs or Asda, live at home for a year while working as a PP suggested, and save up some money for university to supplement the loans she will be able to take.

Explore that in parallel to researching charities that may support university attendance by individuals who are first generation to go to uni, and/or by individuals who are autistic. It should be possible to find a lot of info by researching on the web. Charities that support autistic people in any way may be able to steer you in the right direction even they will not provide funding.

Approach some of the big software companies directly, even if not local. Maybe Microsoft has some sort of paid internship programme. At one point SAP was specifically recruiting people who were autistic because they tended to be better than neurotypical people at doing certain types of work.

These are just a few ideas. There are others, probably in many cases better than mine. Don't give up, and tell your daughter not to give up. Persistence can carry you far.

She used to help
Younger kids at a coding club but it all stopped with covid

My OH did his BSc Computer Science at City University (London) through their Professional Pathway scheme. He was able to earn money and gain relevant work experience through the scheme, whilst studying for his degree, which took an extra year. You can transfer onto the scheme from the 2nd year. Might that be a more affordable option? I know you said she wants to move away, and I can understand the appeal. My OH commuted I think, but she might be able to get a house share with other students on her course after the first year. I'm sorry the costs are so astronomical nowadays.

It might! A lot of places now do guaranteed interview schemes for people with disabilities - they can be a bit hit and miss, but I’ve definitely had adjustments put in place through that route,

Your husband doesn't get to decide what your child does when they are 18+. What you and your husband can do is say how much money you're prepared to give them.

I'd think outside the box about part time jobs. I used to pick salad as a 16 year old and didn't have to talk to anyway. It was dull, not brilliantly paid but they had any hours I wanted and it helped a lot. I'd also think about places that might be inclusive employers- does she have any similar friends with jobs?

You need to break it down into chunks.
First, money - what are the most affordable student cities?
What universities are there? Which offer the courses you want?
What location, city or more remote?
Which of those offer suitable modules/etc.

Quite frankly most people want to go to the best ranked university based on their academic ability so someone targeted, say AAB is hardly going to be looking at the likes of Chester and Edge Hill. You can filter by admission requirements on UCAS. That already reduces the decision space considerably.

Btw your daughter should be doing a lot of this work, she should be narrowing down her choices, looking at the course modules and requirements etc with your guidance.

As a first generation university go-er she may also be available for bursaries, so look for unis which offer those!

https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment/paid-work-experience

Paid work experience for students with autism. Get in touch with this organisation, they can talk you through declaring her autism and getting help and additional adjustments.

Lampeter isn't in North Wales.

You'd need to be fluent in Welsh to study a degree in Welsh. You'd be unlikely to reach fluency in time if you started learning as you got to university.

There are plenty working again now. Definitely worth a look, especially as she has experience

Why won't she get PIP? Did you try and fail? Or are you not bothering at all without even checking the criteria.

What about DSA?

You need to look carefully at the accommodation costs of each uni. They vary wildly.

A northern university like Sheffield is much better value. Rooms without en suite are much cheaper than with, as are the older blocks.

If she’s not a drinker then she’ll survive on less than 9k somewhere like that, especially with her savings to top up. You’ll make some savings by her not being at home so you can help a bit.

She may be better getting a uni job rather than off campus as they may take into account her disability.

They get a higher loan if you have more than one child at uni.
Some unis offer bursaries for lower income families. Ask about those.

Try the northern cities such as Leeds, Manchester, York and Liverpool as the living costs are cheaper.