Shared housing: another housemate took DD's room

[LostInTheWeeds]

DD is due to return to uni next week into a shared student house. The rooms had been allocated by lottery. However, one of the other students has moved in early and installed herself in DD's room. She is refusing to move to her own room. DD very upset by this. Landlord wont' get involved. Any idea what we should do?

If she won't move out dd could put a prawn in her curtain pole she'll never find it. She'll want to move pretty quickly then dd can get her room and remove the prawn

Many university cities are short of housing. Moving out is unlikely to be easy. Plus she or the OP could be chased for the rent if she defaults on the contract and the room is vacant. Or the others have to pay and, for three of them, they didn’t cause this. I would continue to suggest negotiating. Try and get a bit off.

It’s also fairly normal for a less good room to be cheaper. However this room doesn’t sound like a terrible room but a slight reduction each month could help. Loads of students draw lots. However the rooms can be priced first. Mainly because they are rarely identical and often there’s a small room or a dining room becomes a bedroom: as here. So a few £ a week adjustment or swapping after one semester is what they should do.

All this suggested aggro won’t work. DD will have learnt a lesson. Just be less trusting about bills.

Prawns in the curtain pole is such a cliche it's probably the first place anyone would look to track down an unpleasant smell.

Why do people keep suggesting she just get a reduction in rent. How are you thinking that will work?

Then that won’t work, obviously.

Normally the way threads work is to make suggestions we think are relevant and will work.

Wait till she’s out, remove her stuff and put a lock on the door.

@Sheisready Its because lots of students price rooms differentially. These students haven’t but if this could be negotiated, it might make this DD feel better and less angry. It might be a long shot but being aggressive, removing other DDs belongings, threatening moving out with nowhere to go, telling other dd to go, getting mum involved, involving uni/agent/landlord or threatening anything is simply not worth considering.

Its because lots of students price rooms differentially. These students haven’t but if this could be negotiated

Yes, but how do you see that working? Everyone volunteering to now pay an extra £60 because one person now doesn’t like the outcome?

Defending yourself isn't being "aggro"

She can't change the rent but I don't think the group chat in person or what's app is a bad idea at all. She could suggest the rent as an idea when she starts these discussions it might give the other girl the nudge she needs knowing she isn't going to roll over lightly.

I wouldn't be going back and saying oh well that's ok I'll just take the room no one wants without even trying if she isn't happy with it.

If is aggressive if you remove someone else's belongings, change/instal locks, get others to freeze out the girl, etc. It’s just a room that none of them own.

The overall rent won’t change but those with better rooms could agree the worst room pays £10 a week less (say £40). So the 4 rooms pay £40 a month between them. (Or even less!) It’s just enough to reflect one room is worse. DD found someone always liked a cheaper room! However she always had decent flat mates who didn’t behave poorly but they did decide room pricing and draw lots. So they agreed a room wasn’t as good and priced accordingly.

Obviously these Dc didn’t agree one room was bad enough to be cheaper but no reason not to starting talking about it now. Either for the girl who should be in it, or DD. It might be a way to compromise.

Well I wouldn't be able to speak much to her after she did that to me if she didn't relent, but taking all her stuff out is probably a step too far.

Have you dropped your daughter back yet? How did it go?

How’s it working out OP?

So DD has gone in.

Initially we really thought along the lines of fighting it out, but having arrived, DD thinks it is not worth it. The other flatmates are very supportive, but the other girl is just not engaging. DD could dig in and suffer weeks of a stressful situation, but would rather get on with her uni life, so will probably move out. It looks like there is a fair bit of movement in student houses, so she thinks she'll find something better without too much difficulty.

It pains us both to let this behaviour get its way, but I think this is the right course of action. I'd much rather she spend her time having a positive uni experience, rather then squandering it on sorting out the selfishness of someone else.

I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and advice. It's really useful to hear the full range of opinions.

Just make sure what the rental agreement says about moving out if no one else takes the room. If the others are liable for the full rent between 4 of them, they might engage. However the girl who won’t engage will just stay the same and isolated. Shame they ever got involved with her. I agree it’s not worth aggro.

I really hope this CF housemate is ostracized for her behaviour, otherwise she will never learn.
If your DD does move house she needs to make sure of what the rental agreement says and who is liable to pay rent. Make it clear to the house that she's moving due to CF's shitty conduct.

Suspect the other flat mates will regret not fighting to keep your daughter there.

Why would they fight to keep op's daughter? This isn't a group of friends deciding to share a house, it's a purely pragmatic arrangement.
Some of them don't even know each other. I suspect they're unbothered.

I think this is a very sensible and pragmatic approach.

I can’t hope the other housemate is ostracised for the year, but it’d be interesting to hear how/if she can win the others around now.

I think the one that took the room doesn’t care! She must have known it would cause issues but did it anyway. I think the DD here will need to know people better next year but it’s not easy when flats are chosen so early after starting. You have to trust students you barely know or do not know.

So she's moved in, but is looking to move as soon as she can?

I wouldn't have moved in, by doing so she is tacitly accepting the other girl taking that room, so cannot argue that the internal house verbal contract about room allocation has been breached.

If it’s anything like when I was at uni, you are all jointly and severally liable. They’ll chase anyone for the rent. If your daughter moves out, the housemates will have every right to demand she continues to pay her share of the rent. They may make efforts to advertise for someone to replace her, they may not. The agency will probably charge a fee for the change in tenant which your daughter will reasonably expected to swallow too.

I suspect she may end up having to suck it up for a year and finding a new place next year - with existing housemates or other people. But make sure the CF is not included in the search for next years house!

Where would she sleep if she didn't move in? What difference does it make whether it looks as if she has accepted it? She signed the contract anyway and whether or not she moves in doesn't make any difference to whether she's liable for rent.

Many students cities are short of accommodation. You cannot find anywhere that easily. You definitely will get the manky room elsewhere and probably with students you do not know at all. Sometimes the devil you know…….., (a bit)

Well, exactly. The idea of op's dd having her pick of prime accommodation elsewhere is farcical.

Even if she manages to find another house share where one person has moved out, she won't be offered the best room in the house, why would she? The existing flatmates will just reshuffle and the newcomer will get the broom cupboard.

I wouldn't have moved in, where would you be living then @Rollercoaster1920 ?