Shared housing: another housemate took DD's room

[LostInTheWeeds]

DD is due to return to uni next week into a shared student house. The rooms had been allocated by lottery. However, one of the other students has moved in early and installed herself in DD's room. She is refusing to move to her own room. DD very upset by this. Landlord wont' get involved. Any idea what we should do?

I lived in a house of 7 at uni. I deliberately picked one of 'the shit' rooms. It was the smallest.

It was also the easiest to keep warm which I well knew when I volunteered to take the 'shit' room.

I really liked it. It had a view over the street. And I didn't freeze. I didn't want to be on the ground floor. I didn't want to be on the second floor.

Everyone paid the same rent. I never saw this as unfair.

All the "don't move in" , "look for a different house share" posts are ridiculous.
Term starts next week. Obviously we don't know what Uni it is, but most of them will have had their accommodation sorted since last year.
There won't be a whole range of different options for op's daughter to take her pick of.

The lottery was always a daft idea and they're finding out why now..

Sensible approach is to agree to price the rooms accordingly. Those who value a nice room pay more, those who want to use their money for other stuff take the cheaper rooms.

There must have been some major welfare issue as that really wouldn't be the norm. I really can't see them getting involved with an argument over who gets what room.

Even if you charge different rents for different rooms there still could be disagreement and it's potentially much more complicated. We did a lottery when I was a student many years ago although we did move some furniture to even things as much as possible. It worked out fine.

Find somewhere else for your DD, OP. This is NOT going to be a happy household, even with every other housemate on DD's side. A happy household does not any CFs in it

Exactly. She lacks integrity and can never be trusted to keep her commitments. I wouldn’t want to live with her.

So what’s the situation? Where has your DD been living?

im in the minority here. I think she should just move in to the downstairs bedroom. It’s not fair, but this isn’t a situation she can win, this isn’t something the others will back her on, and that wouldn’t make a difference anyway.

She can’t get out of this contract unless she finds someone to pay the rent for the rest of the year.

Get the others together and say she either swaps rooms or leaves and is replaced because there’s already tension and they don’t want to go through the year like that.

Or, all collectively move her things out of the room. She can’t win against all of them.

Yep.

@OriginalUsername2 what if the others say they don’t want to get involved? They don’t want a meeting? They don’t agree with going in to each others rooms and touching each other’s stuff?

In the real world, better room = more expensive. It was a bit naive to do the lottery but expect the same money. Did they agree room allocation process they would use before signing the contract or after signing the contract? If after then it's shit but but not sure I'd fight it. If they agreed the process and cost before signing, then I'd just go in there and remove her stuff. Either way, it's only 9 months. It's not that bad.

dd landed up with the smallest room and managed to pay less rent

I said originally I doubt they would get involved at this stage but this is an omen of what’s to come. I think it’s worth knowing about.

They won’t get involved in room allocation, but they have certainly would get involved if somebody’s parents came up and started throwing their weight around and moving are young woman stuff out of the room that she is occupying. That is major cause for concern. 10 times worse, if it’s a foreign student and the woman has no support in the UK herself. Universities do not want to find young people hanging from the rafters because their anxiety has escalated over this kind of bullying.
The adults on this thread need to give their Head a wobble. Do none of you remember being at university ?

As I said earlier in the thread, it is never nine months. They have to pay for the full 12, even if they only occupy for nine months it’s a significant financial outlay

Then that won’t work, obviously.

IME people who are selfish and don't play by the rules don't do well in house shares. They generally are alienated by the other hosuemates, have a crappy year and no one will have anything to do with them once they move out. Speaking from experience here.

I dont think you should get involved, but leave it to your DD and the other housemates . Definitely don't do anything that could be interpreted as aggressive, or retaliation as that will make your DD look as bad or worse than the selfish roommate, and she might end up being the one alienated.

Remember she has to live with these people for a whole year, so she may have to be the bigger person for harmonies sake.

I'm well aware it's 12 months cost, but the vast majority of students will only live in their student houses for 9 months. It's really not the end of the world what room any of them have. I know because I did it all myself for three four years.

Good advice here the other housemate has already started with bad blood don't retaliate. It's only a year your daughter will cope.

you as her parents can and should DO nothing.

your dd can try and negotiate,
perhaps they can swap after half a year
you never know, she might like to prefer her room.

Really shot behaviour. If she's signed a contract she's liable for rent in whatever room but she could replace herself in the house if she could find someone.

I suppose that's her only other option but I would not take that lying down.

I would suggest all the housemates have a house get together as soon as possible and raise this with the other girl, and make it plain they are not happy and think it's shitty behaviour and she might rather move rooms again than live with people that are annoyed with her.

I wouldn't be wanting my DD to be a total rollover about it tbh what lesson is that teaching her? Why should she suck it up for harmony?

you never know, she might like to prefer her room.

OP said it was by the bathroom - I'd choose that over an upstairs room, in a house where the bathroom is likely to be hogged.

She sounds like a cow so I wouldn't mind falling out with her.

Dd could start a house whatsapp chat and say I'll be moving into my room as agreed on 1.10.23 or whenever she's arriving - cuckoo I know you're sleeping there now please remove your belongings before I arrive so I can have the room that was fairly allocated to me in the system that you agreed to. If you need some help my parents/boyfriend/friends will be there to help you move any heavy things if you need it

See if she says anything on the group chat?