Shared housing: another housemate took DD's room

[LostInTheWeeds]

DD is due to return to uni next week into a shared student house. The rooms had been allocated by lottery. However, one of the other students has moved in early and installed herself in DD's room. She is refusing to move to her own room. DD very upset by this. Landlord wont' get involved. Any idea what we should do?

Other housemate peer pressure. Never move in until the room is hers. Don't pay any rent, usually share houses are jointly liable for the rent so if one doesn't pay the landlord can go after any and all of the named people (who then may go after your daughter, but given they have broken their verbal contract of that room they may not succeed.

Choosing rooms in a shared house isn't really a contract, as such.
Really poor advice to suggest she doesn't move in, and thus breach her actual contract.

It worked for me, albeit a number of years ago!

Presume the housemate who switched rooms wasn't happy with her allocation but didn't raise it at the time. Do they all know each other well? How different are the rooms?

Tell dd to take the best room available. Other housemates can take it up with first CF who messed up the system

She needs to get the others involved. I would be inclined to move her out if the room and put a lock on it when she goes out for the day. They aren't going to have a good relationship now after all this. Are they all friends or just randoms?

Does it matter?

Presumably all rooms are decent otherwise surely your DD wouldn't have expected one of her housemates to live in a sub-standard room. Rent presumably reflects the quality of the room. It's only really an issue if your DD is paying a higher rent for a better/larger room, but is only getting a smaller room, and if that's the case she should adjust her DD to the smaller room rate. If rent is the same for all rooms, then first come, first served is just as fair a way of allocation as names out of a hat. If there's a substantial difference in room quality, then It's not really fair if the rents weren't carved up fairly to reflect that some rooms are more desirable than others.

Someone has to live in the less desirable room!

I'd do as a PP said though, and have your DD take the most desirable room left in the house, since the system appears to have changed from lottery to first come first served.

That's right, the other student wasn't happy with the room she got. It is definitely the worst room in the house, but everyone agreed to the lottery. DD adamant she won't just take the other room - and I agree, you can't just give in to such anti-social behaviour.

Well, short of forcibly removing the other girl from the room, there's nothing she can do.
Did she really appeal to the landlord to sort it, btw?!

Your daughter doesn’t have a contract for that exact room, just a “share” of the shared house? Her housemates behaviour is a bit crap, and immoral if they had an agreement but I don’t think there’s anything she can do about it.

This happened to DD a couple of years ago. It was horrible and the friendships in the house never really recovered.

sorry I don't have any advice, just empathy.

kitchenplans said:

If rent is the same for all rooms, then first come, first served is just as fair a way of allocation as names out of a hat.

Well, yes, but only if that's what you agree - not if you agree to do it one way and then ignore the outcome because you don't like it. It's not that the room is substandard or anything - the other student just doesn't like it. DD feels she has to stand up to such disregard for others, and I agree with her.

Was the student who was originally allocated the worst room in the house given a fair lower rent in recognition of the different room qualities? Because if not and the rest of the household took the "I'm alright, Jack" attitude and were happy to screw her over, then I can see why she's bitten back and screwed them in return!

If they did do it fairly, and it's a lower rent for the worst room, then at least your DD can console herself with a bit more money in the bank as compensation. Perhaps she could spend some of that extra money making the worst room into a nice room with lovely bedding, rug, accessories etc.

Did they agree to different rent shares when they agreed to a lottery? That would have been a way to ease the sting for the worst room.

What a difficult situation. At the end of the day there isn’t much your DD can do if the crap room is the only one left. After all, it could just as easily have been her who got it in the lottery. Hopefully the housemate will lose friends over her CF behaviour - indeed I wouldn’t blame your DD if she goes round telling everyone at uni what happened.

It's not that the room is substandard or anything - the other student just doesn't like it
So it's not that big a deal, then, on a practical level 🤷🏻‍♀️

If they can't agree to the results of the lottery then suggest everyone rotates rooms with the person with the current best room moving to the worst and everyone else moving up. That will be a pain but might keep the peace.

This happened years ago when I shared. There was one room in particular that was significantly bigger, and nicer than any of the others. We did a lottery. I ended up with a crap room, but not much you can do. I wouldn’t have swapped a good room so you take your chances, We all paid the same.
I can see why your daughter is annoyed, but it’s up to her and the housemates to sort out. Very poor start to harmonious living for them all. I think she either has to back down and accept it (and seethe all year) or go in guns blazing which is a risky strategy if the rest of her housemates don’t back her up.

All she can do is
A - physically remove the other girls stuff and put hers in
B - take the other room
C - take the next best room so last to arrive gets the bad room
D - try to get someone to take over her tenancy - lots of people on Facebook groups looking for a room last minute. She would end up with the worst room in a different house but would be away from the inevitable tension.

In ds’s house one room is significantly better, 2 are middling and one is pretty small. They have informally split the rent to reflect that but realistically they are all responsible for all of the rent and if they fall out then the agreement could break down. Will your dds other housemates back her up? Are they friends? The lottery system has broken down so it’s a free for all really so it’s in their best interests to back the system they all agreed to.

Her housemates are on her side.
Just to clarify, I would pull back a bit from the claim that it's the worst room - it's rather subjective. The rooms are all pretty much the same size, but this room is on the ground floor, neat the kitchen and the toilet - so it's the noisiest. That might not bother some, it does bother others.

Practically, does it matter? Somewhat. Does this behaviour matter? Yes, a great deal.

Has your DD shared with that other housemate before?. Thinking she might be a entitled in other ways throughout the year.

No, they haven't shared before. But yes - this is not a good sign for a happy household. 🙁

The behaviour is unpleasant, sure, but given there's nothing your daughter can actually do about it she probably needs to move on.

You might be right - I certainly don't want her messing up her studies over this.

Wait until this girl is out then move her stuff into the other room and your DD move her stuff into the room she got in the lottery. The other housemates need to talk to the girl too to tell her it's not on to take room your DD won in the lottery.

Did they all know each other previously?