Thoughts on WIWIKAU

[Newtothismother]

A friend of mine suggested I join this group on Facebook as my son and I are researching university courses (he is in year 12). I did so a few months ago. I am disappointed in it - posters congratulate students on getting a 2.2/third; literally every other poster has SEN; there are multiple posts by mums saying they dreading their kids going to uni and will swoop them up at first sign of adversity. Did my friend send me down a rabbit hole or is this a reputable group? Have only just joined MN HE group but it is much better and speaks hard truths which may be difficult to hear but are invaluable

fgs if your dd got a 2.2 you of course would be proud

I think that's incorrect, it's on MN that everyone gets diagnosed with SEN. I've not noticed that on wiwikau at all.

DHs, DCs, not quite complying? Must have ASD/ADHD according to this place.

Constant name changer here.

I think both have their place.

I use this board for asking questions that directly relate to things I want to know. I also use it to try and give a different perspective on certain things from my children's experiences. My children are high achievers so this board tends to cater better for what I need to know.
But I do feel judged at times - child number two is heading off to a uni that's not top 5 for their degree, despite all A* predictions, and is criticised on here sometimes for being a snobby choice - not only that but they have applied to a catered hall 😮 because it was the cheapest option by far. Child is perfectly capable of cooking - but also perfectly capable of doing the maths and realising that this gives them more spending money. I no longer go to some of the specific boards for my other child's uni because I do find there is a level of parental involvement and vicarious pride that I don't really get.
I think wiwikau definitely has its place. I've been on there largely to deflate some of the myths about how much stuff you need to take, how much all of that costs, the panic associated with certain bits of uni... But also a close friend's child went through clearing and so I know bits about that that don't get mentioned as much on here but that actually loads of students need and sometimes it can be useful to give an objective opinion/advice on there.
I rarely go there though because I just don't get the sadness at a child going to uni. I miss mine but they're young adults - leaving is what they're meant to do!

I’ve found WIWIKAU interesting (albeit repetitive) and useful- I’ve passed on info to my dd and it’s given her extra unis to consider/points she hadn’t realised. Equally they’re obsessed by some unis that don’t live up to the hype. Couldn’t race out of one fast enough 🤣✌️.

The ‘where do I park on the open day?’ and other very google-able qus just feel like ppl wanting their rite of passage. Surely they know there’s an easier way to find this info.

The latest thread to pop up for me around tracking kids- with suggestions of AirTags- is batshit. 20 year old kids in some cases. Ditto I found the straying into ‘dd 24 needs a flat in London for her first grad job’ worrying and I think there’s a separate graduate group. I honestly cannot stay this involved in my dd’s life- and I’m a single parent who has been a proactive and engaged mum, but it’s not typical - surely- to micro manage every life stage!!!

Oh yes!! The vitriol directed at anyone on MN whose Dc chooses a catered hall! You have brought up an incapable member of society and therefore you have failed as a parent. Add to that your student has more money than sense etc..,

@Piggywaspushed I think you have hit the nail on the head about expectations on uni courses. Parents expect teaching. Lots of hours of it. That’s what £9,250 is paying for! Private school type teaching. Too DC are poor at self directed learning and independent thinking. Very prescriptive syllabi in school has caused this. When exam grades were much lower, the bright student was allowed to argue coherently for a point of view. About something they read independently. It set them up better for uni. DH employs civil/structural engineering grads. Some of course are great. Others cannot think how to solve real life problems. They don’t see them at uni and the lecturers feed them too much info you don’t get in real life. So although many do get on well, and can adapt their knowledge and skills, there are others who just cannot move successfully into work. Some would definitely have benefitted from the old sandwich course!

The latest thread to pop up for me around tracking kids- with suggestions of AirTags- is batshit.

I have just been reading that thread. Most seem to advocate Life 360. I don't want to track DD. I would worry more, and what if you find out that your angelic little darling is sleeping in a different bed every night?

It's fair enough if your DC is vulnerable, but I really think we need to allow our young people the freedom to get on with it.

Tracking one's children reminds me of the Black Mirror episode Arkangel, where a mother finds out (via tracking) that her daughter is associating with an "unsuitable" man.

(Spoiler - it doesn't end well)

Personal triumph over disability or whatever aside 2:1 is the average grade, which most graduate jobs require.
A 2:2 to me would indicate that we'd made the wrong choice w.r.r university, or course. Or both!

As a PP said too many people are pushed into university as the default path and any grade celebrated without stopping to reflect on what it's actually all about.

That simply isn't true. There are selcted Civil Service fast track roles open to 2:2s and above. The Local Government equivalent is open to 2:2 and above. Teaching , also a graduate job, requires 'at least a 2:2'

Ajywhere with a lot of people posting is useful. I have not tried that other place and very rarely use facebook as I don't like the way it works but it has a place. It is lack of any information that can be the issue for paernts, or was before the internet. I think 50% of UK children do not have 5 A - C or whatever high grade GCSEs are now. 100 is the average IQ and plenty are below it.

On 2/1s etc, in my day 15% went to university and a third got 2/1 or higher (as did I). One person got a first in my year of my law degree and I was top in 2 subjects and still did not get a first. So my 2/1 was about 5% of the UK. Today 2/3rd at university get a 2/1 or higher so 2/3rd of 50% whch is 33% of the UK v 5% in my day if I have done my sums correctly.

I had presumed we were discussing undergraduates, in which case the minimum is a 2:1. 2:2 is for postgraduates (which is a different ballgame)
https://www.faststream.gov.uk/faqs/index.html
And as much as I respect teachers and as difficult as the PGCE is... It's hardly a very competitive graduate route.... People are leaving teaching in droves and they're desperate for replacements.
Don't get me wrong - there are graduate schemes which take a 2:2. Like Lloyd's Bank for example. But there aren't many, which is why I said 'most'.

Nope, still not true.

Source : My DS has applied for several fast track schemes . He has a 2: 2 . Teaching may not be competitive these days but it's a large profession, accounting for a lot of grads.

It's also not the case that 'most' graduates apply for specific graduate schemes.

Have a look at the 'degree level' info on this page!

https://www.faststream.gov.uk/all-schemes/index.html

Also @Piggywaspushed the difficulty of achieving a 2:1 varies. As does the type of coursework.
On the surface if may seem that I'm sneering at lower grades, but sometimes the degree has to suit the student.
My DH got into university with C's and D's. Autistic. Can't do exams.
Graduated with a first and now doing well - because university was project based.

While extenuating circumstances may be a factor many people are pushed into degree courses that don't suit them and consequently don't perform. In the former case even if a graduate scheme specifies a 2:1 you can include a letter explaining your circumstances etc and get admitted around the computer says no.

Did you see my link, though?

Lots of those schemes open to 2:2s.

Glad your DS did well. My DS's 2:2 was the result of one failed final year module which he had to redo and was capped at 40% even though its mark was 65. Hey ho. You make your bed...

Oh oops! Your DH , not DS!!

I have no idea what WIWIKAU is and I’m not of Facebook but I have to say that I find the Higher Education topics on MN the most toxic and unhelpful of all the topics. I have a DC at a great RG and one hoping to go and I wonder why I bother posting . It’s dominated by pompous show offs, the worst of the worst mumsnetters.

I should add that I could have predicted that the very first response to a thread asking how dc did in mock A levels was “3 x A* smily face. If their dc are as utterly charmless as their mothers they won’t get very far in life, despite their academic achievements, made up or otherwise.

I never needed it because I was and still am on a particularly lovely Mn thread that guided me through GCSE's, A'level's, Uni applications, and 1st year Uni. But it is a great site, loads of great info and advice. I often feel it's very twee and many mums are helicopter parents who are just too nampy-pamby for my liking, sickly so, but hey.

As I recall, you posted a couple of times on that thread about your DC getting all A and Å at GCSE, might some people not have found that a bit "charmless" or show offy? The poster you mention who said 3 x Å maybe could have just said "they did really well", but so could you have?

Some hysterical responses to the clearly goady OP - wonder if they will run this thread in the tabloid press - MN at its absolute worst. Academic excellence and a 'first' from an RG being the only way to go - sorry a 2:1 is very average and 'not worth the paper it is written' on especially if it is not from one of the 'top ten'. What sad, sad people.

Thank you for saying this, I'm honestly so so proud of DD and her 2:2. It definitely has value to us.

I doubt The Fail would be interested in this thread but it would be a change from all the MIL or wedding ones they print.

Some hysterical responses to the clearly goady OP - wonder if they will run this thread in the tabloid press - MN at its absolute worst.

Ahhh calling women hysterical ...

You think this is MN at its worst?

@pintery not true. I was responding to someone saying UCAS grades didn’t take GCSEs into account. I said one dc got mostly A* A (note not all) so the fact they take them into account at their sixth form was good for them. I also spoke about my other DC’s SpLD and how his GCSEs were patchy.
Don’t let you nastiness get in the way of the truth.

I agree.

I really like it,