DH is limiting Y12 DC to universities in the north due to ££££

[BatteredHonda]

DC is in Y12 and wants to apply to KCL, Bristol and Exeter - alongside other unis. DC will qualify for minimum maintenance loan and we are therefore expected to top up/pay the accommodation. We struggle to make ends meet as it is so DH has said DC canNOT apply to southern unis - let alone London ones. He is recommending Leicester, Newcastle, Swansea, Belfast etc instead. DC is furious but I do get where DH coming from. What are your thoughts?

I hear you @YukoandHiro. Will speak to DH

DS gets minimum loan. He works full time in the holidays and uses that money to top himself up. We did top up his first terms rent for him so he could keep some cash, but he would have had enough had we not. He’s in his second year now and not struggling for cash.

I hoped she wouldn’t take out the full loans ! I’m personally uncomfortable with amount of debt students are getting themselves into and wanted to try and help limit that . She’s made different choices as is her right

Back when you still got grants, I had the maximum grant plus loan and still needed to get a part time job to afford everything (& I lived in the cheap/dodgy end of the city).

Can you explain to your DC what you can afford to contribute and discuss ways to make up the difference, depending on the costs in different locations? Saving up money from a holiday job and part time job spring to mind.

Incidentally, it seems that there is no guarantee that unis will give students the cheaper accommodation they apply for. My friend's DD applied to standard single, shared bathroom and got put into a superior single with ensuite - costing her about £40 more each week!

Apart from being “furious” what is your DC actually doing?

Is he looking at accommodation costs, working out a food and socialising budget, is he working now and saving like crazy?

He will have to get a job

That will be his choice. He might need to share a bathroom or even a room. Not the end of the world.
Let him decide in full knowledge of how much he will have

@PennyForearm Nope. He says he has too much school work to do to get a job and he plays competitive sport every Saturday and Sunday. He seems to believe we are a magic money tree! Out of his school friends, none seem to have jobs.

Could DC present DH with their plan of how they will budget with the available money, their plan to cover the shortfall and reasons why they should choose the universities they want to choose. Has DC got a job?

Have you actually looked at the costs?
For eg at Bristol (I have a dd there so am using as an eg) the cheaper halls accommodation is £4410 if you share a room or £4851 for a single. The maximum loan outside London is £9706, so that leaves £4855 to live on, which is about £130 pw during term time, which is plenty to live on. They can also get a p/t job (dd does shift app work so can fit it in around her course, so when she has a day or evening free she picks up a shift)

You ds can also work in the holidays to earn more money, dd worked for 2.5 months last summer and went back to university with a decent amount in her bank account.

When he moves out of halls he can move a bit further out so the rent won't be too bad, the central places tend to be £150 a week but further out you can get much cheaper.

I think you should be sitting down with all the figures and making sure that he understands this this rather than limiting his options.

I don't know where you live, but dd comes home to London on the coach for £3.99 in 2.5hrs!

I think let him know how much you can afford to top up, and if he wants to go somewhere expensive then he'll have to find a way to finance it i.e. get a job. My nephew is in an expensive southern town in halls. They're looking for second year accomodation and can't find anything under £400 A WEEK, for a shared student house. It's definitely something you need to consider before applying if money isn't unlimited.

All the Y12s I know are getting/have got jobs!

That's £400 for the room not the whole house

There are plenty of good northern universities, Durham, York, Manchester as examples.

Agreeing budgeting levels and strategies seems sensible. Trying to get dc to apply to less good universities doesn't make much sense.

Dd is at Exeter, we cannot give her any money at all. She gets full loan and budgets v carefully. Her social life is not as full as it might be but she's had a really great time, and has worked hard.

There are a fair few students there whose parents give them 500 a month + and they often end up with not good degrees. Maybe that doesn't matter because they've got ready made jobs waiting for them? Certainly true of a fair few dd knows

Ok so he can be as furious as he wants to be but it's not going to change the situation. He has a limited amount of student loan, a finite amount of additional financial support from you, the rest is his problem to sort. That's part of growing up, if he wants to go to a more expensive uni then he gets to get his arse into gear and get a job.

dc needs to get a job in the summer holiday and perhaps working on Saturday to save some money and possibly find weekend work at uni - they wont be alone in that

It depends which courses he wants to do and his future aspirations. It would be a shame to limit himself, perhaps he could get a job - or take a year out to work and save some money. I can imagine in a more expensive area like London or Bristol there’ll be more part time jobs especially now hospitality industries are crying out for staff.

Maybe you should with him and do a budget on a spreadsheet.

Like a few others I would say that your DH isn't approaching this on the right way. If there is a set amount of money you can afford to support DS with you let him know that. Then he can make the decision including considering a degree apprenticeship, taking a year out to work and save and/ or working in top during the term.

There will be a number of good areas around where you have listed. I think it also depends where you are based.

Your DH also probably ought to learn some geography as some of those places are in the Midlands or other countries not up North.

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

Of course, he is free to flat share or get an evening/weekend job in London/Bristol/Exeter to top up the extra but if you'd need to make it clear to him that he will absolutely be responsible for that.

Your DH is being sensible BUT your DS is an adult at 18 and if he really wants to go for it he needs to accept his part of making it happen.

If either of mine had got full loan I wouldn't have been giving them anything either. As it is, I top up the minimum loan to the exact amount that a full loan would be.

I'd always say you have this much, you spend it and you top up with loans. They have to choose - your DH can talk to them about vfm but insisting is just not adult.

As long as they understand they're getting finite help and that their money will go further at some unis than others...

Turn it around and say "this is what we can afford to give you a month. This is what you'll likely get in loans. These are your costs. These are your short falls. Now pick Unis.

I know it was different back at the turn of the century but when I went to Uni it was just assumed if your parents were rich you'd get a job and pay your own way. Student loans, Jobs, worked every summer etc.

Also don't forget there are various scholarships etc that he could apply for
www.bristol.ac.uk/students/support/finances/scholarships/