DH is limiting Y12 DC to universities in the north due to ££££

[BatteredHonda]

DC is in Y12 and wants to apply to KCL, Bristol and Exeter - alongside other unis. DC will qualify for minimum maintenance loan and we are therefore expected to top up/pay the accommodation. We struggle to make ends meet as it is so DH has said DC canNOT apply to southern unis - let alone London ones. He is recommending Leicester, Newcastle, Swansea, Belfast etc instead. DC is furious but I do get where DH coming from. What are your thoughts?

This is the article DH keeps referring to:

www.studentcrowd.com/page/cheapest-uk-cities-for-student-accommodation

I had a similar conversation with my children, there are some things we couldn't afford.

It’s not for your DH to limit your DCs choice.

But I think it’s totally fair enough to let them know how much you can support them with, and look at all their possible sources of finance to see what their total budget might be.

It’s then up to your DC to see what might work.

Can you not agree an amount you will top up and DC choose where it is spent?

I think it's practical. I work at a uni and a lot of students now live at home and commute in rather than live away. I think it's sad but for many it's the only way they can afford it.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

Set a budget you can afford for accommodation, if your DS wants to spend over that then he needs to get a job and finance it himself.

I think that’s really sensible. My daughter is also looking at of these for the same reasons. I don’t want her to get into extra debt if she doesn’t have to.

I am very very happy that neither of my DD are looking north of Leicester. There is life up north, there really is.

Your dc should apply where they want but will need to accept there will be limited support and they will have to find ways to make up the rest themselves.

South of Leicester.. bloody hell!

Your DH can’t do anything to stop him applying to where he wants, can he? I think your DS is right to be furious, did your DH even try a grown up discussion about the costs and the advantages of going to cheaper cities. Personally I’d just say that you can afford to give him X amount and it’s up to him if he’d rather go to an expensive city where he’ll have to work more. Treat him like a grown up.

If you cannot afford to support and DC is set on a university that is not financially possible, DC needs to take a gap year and work full time to save money for the next 3 years. They could save at least 10 grand by doing this. DC can also get a job whilst studying. I don’t think your husband is right to say they aren’t ‘allowed’ to apply but you are right to have this conversation about money now.

I must say though that Leicester/Swansea etc aren’t really in the same standing of uni as KCL, Exeter and Bristol unless something has massively changed recently. Don’t make your DC limit themselves if they are capable of achieving the A*AA entry requirements. They could attend Manchester etc.

My DF was the same. I didn’t go in the end, as I didn’t want to spend the years living at home and commuting. I got a FT job, so at least I was living at home, commuting (but closer) and had some money.

I think it’s a real shame TBH, but if you don’t have the money then you don’t have it.

I think your DS should apply to where he wants - but with the knowledge you won't be able to support him financially. He shouldn't be limited, but you shouldn't be expected to just make up the more expensive shortfall.

Has he actually looked at accommodation costs and compared? Especially vs. Quality of course.

no point saving a few ££ at a less prestigious uni which may impact ds’s career long term.

surely it’s ds’s choice. You contribute what you can afford, he gets a job to make up any extra.

I’d maybe advise against london, but other cities can’t be wildly different, especially the red bricks like Manchester, Leeds, Exeter etc.

We have agreed to top up to the max maintenance loan coz that's all we can afford. But, DH says, that will leave DC will next to no money to live on once accommodation paid for in some unis.

Your h makes sense.
Has your son got a part-time job so that he can contribute to the shortfall in money? Does your son know how much the shortfall is? If he currently works in a part-time job then he will know how hard it is to save several grand a year.

Well then that’s up to DS to find the money then isn’t it. None of dh’s business.

This is a recipe for disaster, pushing your child to go somewhere they don't want to.

Unfortunately I'm erring on his side for the advice to steer away from London ones if possible, at least. I've worked in a couple (commuting in, on an ok part-time salary), but would not have been able to afford to rent the liveable student accommodation on that. The campus food costs etc. seemed expensive too, post-2020; portions generous but you'd be spending a minimum of a tenner a day if you wanted/ needed to eat there.

If you can afford to top up to the max maintenance loan I don’t see the issue at all! I thought you were suggesting that you wouldn’t be able to give ANY additional funds and they’d have to live off minimum loan. DC will have to pick cheapest halls and then work part time for spending money. This is completely normal!

I think it’s right to have a conversation about the extent to which you can afford to support him, but ultimately it’s got to be your son’s decision as to which course is right for him. I don’t think you should tell him where he’s allowed to apply! Not that you have any control over that form anyway.

Fwiw my DC is Year 13. We live in London and their favoured offer is from a London uni. Great uni, great course I’m not doubting. However I want him to learn to live away from home, but not when it’s going to cost £££ to live in a hovel nowhere near his friends. He would default to home. So I’m gently encouraging him to visit his other options… all good unis although not cheap accommodation either.

IMO apart from London they are much of a muchness.

There was a wide range of prices for first year accommodation at Leeds, for example, when we looked. It depended on how new and he accommodation was and whether it was en-suite.

DD has friends at Leeds, Manchester and Sheffield; DD's Oxford halls were cheaper than her friends at Leeds and Sheffield and Manchester.

For living out in second year, their rent was more than hers. Similarly with my friend's DD in Birmingham.

Supermarket shops are similar wherever and nights out are cheaper whichever university you go to as clubs have student nights.

I'd say, with the exception of London, prioritise the course.

I've got one in Leeds and one in London. The one in London started off in a northern university but moved for postgrad. The one in Leeds pays more rent than the one in London, plus she found it much easier to get a part time job that fitted with her course.

Surely if you are topping up to maximum (as we do) then it doesn't matter, your contribution remains the same. Saying that we did advise ds's friend (there are specific circumstances why his mum can't contribute though) that Brighton might be difficult as it is more expensive accommodation than London without the London weighting.

There is loads of accommodation at Bristol for around the 6k mark. This will give DC over 3k to live on. Yes the accommodation isn’t the poshest but if DC has an issue with that, that’s for them to sort out.