Oxbridge 2023 support; it's offer month. Good luck all.

[Riverpebble]

New thread for the start of the Oxbridge offers.

@purplepatty have you/DC visited the pooled college? It happened to DD too; to be honest, we hadn't even heard of the place. She got in a dither, so we googled it then decided to go & visit in February half term. Even though we didn't tell them we were coming, they rolled out the red carpet metaphorically. Everyone was lovely and she got great vibes. We talked it over and she accepted the offer (then made the offer, graduated, and is still there doing a PhD).

Most people enjoy the college they end up at. If it helps and you want to PM me, please do as I know people at or who have been to lots of different places. DD is currently on an Arctic trek (don't ask!) with 2 of her uni mates so it's not that easy to contact her and she won't be back for 10 days.

I was pooled to a modern college away from the centre (years ago) and loved it. Same course and lectures no matter which college. All the same opportunities for college social life, sports and small group teaching. I can’t imagine the other university offers college accommodation for the whole time. Unless your DC has decided they don’t like the course at Cambridge they shouldn’t miss this opportunity because they aren’t sure of the college.

Thank you, yes we've been, and we're given a private tour - the student didn't help by telling her it was party central and like a brothel..

DD was pooled to a college. Of the 6 people doing her subject in her college, 4 of them were from the pool. She loves it and is glad she didn't go to her original choice (though I'm sure she would have loved that too!)
Most people she knows from school and home etc were also pooled (though mostly to colleges further out) but they all are happy too.
My DD advised my younger DC when they were considering applying (didn't in the end) and I can't work out which college would have been described like that. She has friends at most colleges so if you wanted to pm I'd be happy to get a second opinion for you!
But.... Cambridge is tough (academically and pastorally) - and much tougher than Durham in terms of workload (I'm guessing D is his insurance from you mention of colleges). I'm sure they'd be happy to have him and, if he's wavering, then maybe he'd be happier there and there's no harm in asking them?

Sorry it's a her not a him. I misread your post...

If it's ME I wouldn't worry.
DD has lots of friends there (all pooled as very few pick it). They say that there is a degree of some people trying to make it seem cool and avoid the "all girls" image but it's actually generally just very relaxed and enjoyable. It's also very rich and gives amazing bursaries for summer holidays expeditions.

Malbec tbf your DD was pooled to a different but still mixed central college, so not necessarily a stark difference to the original. With Oxford I would tend to say the same as you but with Cambridge there's the potential to be pooled to Girton which is a way out or, for girls, Newnham or Murray Edwards which may be fine for some girls and really not ok for others. I'm assuming that purplepatty's DC has been offered her first choice at Durham and although college choice up there is very marginal, it could be a better fit than Cambridge in one of those three colleges named above. purplepatty wouldn't your DC simply withdraw from the Cambridge offer ahead of results day? I should think there's very little wriggle room after results day with Durham based on its general policy approach to those who merely use it as insurance. If your DC is seriously doubting the allocated college at Cambridge, they might need to move with speed. Durham doesn't guarantee college choice for insurance students but hopefully would if your DC shifted them up to the firm choice in the next week before results seals the contract with Cambridge.

My long post crossed. I have to say that I think my girls would have been very, very likely to go to Durham over an all girls' college. But they all went to a co-ed school which makes a difference.

Durham tends to be underwhelmed by being selected as insurance so my advice would not be to ask but to make it happen through UCAS. I can't see that results day will make a difference to the reasoning. If it goes wrong on results day, she'd be no worse off by deleting Cambridge surely?

Fair enough @goodbyestranger . However, DD had UG friends at ME and has supervised there and says it's lovely. She would be happy to study there herself. She also knows Newnham quite well. She had an autistic friend who went to Girton who had an amazing time there. They chose it because of the location because they wanted to be a little further from the centre. However, their course was based at Sidgwick and they thoroughly enjoyed the mix of the 2. This friend doesn't cycle so was reliant on buses and walking and made it work for them.

:Your DD is lovely Malbec but each to their own: mine strongly dislike the all girl vibe anywhere, perhaps two out of the four more virulently so. They would not have accepted an offer to an all girls college.

@goodbyestranger you're absolutely right. There wasn't such a difference between her colleges. However, her friends at ME (all from co-ed schools as far as I can recall) are all genuinely enjoying it. And I don't feel like Newnham gets the same treatment, maybe because it's central and more people pick it. I agree Homerton and Girton do feel a bit different because they're so much further out.

The fact of describing the college as a brothel is a bit crass.

Well I do recognise that plenty of students come to love their time in a womens' only college but my main point but my main point is that this DC may not have the luxury of time on her side, and that's especially true of the most applied to subjects in Durham. My guess is that after results day they would give her the heave ho whereas by making Durham her firm ahead of results is likely to be the only way to seal the deal. If it's History, English, Law type of thing - jump now.

but my main point :)

Ok so I'm talking rubbish about the mechanics: it's too late to swap firm and insurance, big apologies (just checked. Possibly could have done that before wading in....).

Very good luck to her. I would still ring the department while it's relatively quiet to ask, assuming serious qualms. It will get very busy after the weekend.

I think I'm mostly agreeing with you - I'm certainly not saying Cambridge is necessarily better by any means or should be picked - just that, if it is ME, then there does seem to be this (I agree, crass) stupid attempt to make themselves seem "cool" and not like a convent. Someone we know there is like an honorary niece so agonised over exactly the same decision - ME or Durham - and ended up going to ME but with a lot of misgivings as she is the least "all girls together" person imaginable plus she got the "there are guys here all the time, it's a party hall" spiel too which is, of course, nonsense - like everywhere, there are party animals and quieter people.... But she really genuinely is enjoying her time there.
I get it's not for everyone.
But presumably the pp's DD felt comfortable choosing it above Durham in January/May/whenever the choice was made... And letting one person spoil that seems a shame. If she has been thinking she made the wrong choice for months then that's a bit different...

Sorry - no edit button is so annoying - the honorary niece thing was just to say that we witnessed the agonising at close hand. Not really relevant!

So remember that Durham reallocate some peoples colleges after results - they state this is most likely to happen to near misses / insurance as opposed to firm but can still happen to firm and obv the reallocations tend to happen to those colleges viewed as less desirable eg from Bailey to HB or Treva for instance.

Trevs not Treva!

Strongly agree about no edit button. I'm loving the new WhatsApp edit button but it appears to have left my two middle sons (with their terrible SPaG) utterly unmoved. Only thing is you have to dive back in before the message is read or the opportunity to edit goes pouf.

Thanks all, yes ME, reassuring to hear the comments. And yes a good point about Durham reallocating.

Obv Durham college preferences vary from individual to individual but would she prefer her pooled Cambridge college over her least favourite Durham College - to me that’s really what she needs to decide (disclaimer I know nothing about Cambridge but my dd has firmed Durham).

The key point may be that all Durham colleges are mixed. It the issue was architecture then I would definitely not say Durham was a good bet over ME :)

Totally out of date knowledge but it probably doesn’t change that much. I married someone from a different college who I met at Cambridge and he had a good friend at a women’s only collage. I had friends in college, friends from my course and friends through the clubs I did. I spent time in different college bars for various reasons. That said, the main hub of social life was in my own college bar and I expect that things would be a bit different in ME and Newnham.