Oxbridge 2023 support; it's offer month. Good luck all.

[Riverpebble]

New thread for the start of the Oxbridge offers.

@daffodilandtulip Don’t worry about fitting in - honestly ignore stories of Old Etonians etc, that is WAY out of date. Do however be guided by your dd. As my name hints, rejection was a horrible process - much worse than I anticipated, for me at least because it’s horrible to see your dc work so hard and then be turned down. If your dd’s heart isn’t in for what are valid reasons then just step back. I’d now advise anyone to apply after A levels with grades in hand (though maths may not be a go-er for that) precisely because it takes the pressure off at a vital point.

By the way, for those still not bored to tears by the saga of ds’s rejection he had detailed. College feedback today. Apparently his exam scores were way over the average successful applicant’s, they also said submitted written work and his UCAS scored more highly. His interview score was bang on the average for a successful candidate.

He was pooled - they said his I/v scores at college two were “very high” too. They also said he’d be a “highly competitive” candidate if he reapplied. But he definitely won’t. I sort of feel better knowing these scores and that he did as well as those accepted, obviously a bit sore he somehow still missed out but it’s salutary to anyone thinking of giving it a go to know you can tick all the boxes scorewise and STILL get a no. Ds is doing a brilliant job of moving on and I’m mega- proud of his attitude

@Rejects
He did so well . I sometimes think it's worse when there's nothing to pinpoint what to improve/change. Another day /year outcome would be different.
@daffodilandtulip i think rejects idea of applying grades in hand may boost your dd's confidence . Or choosing a course that gets entrance papers etc our of the way earlier. Are Cambridge/Oxford always strict on maths courses not having a gap year? Surely some maths based (eg engineering course) may be okay with a year out from maths. Surely if gaining experience and enthusiasm for a subject by gaining work experience could potentially be beneficial.

@yoyo1234 @Panicmode1 sorry it's Chemical Engineering at Cambridge - so chemistry needed not physics.

@yoyo1234 DS wanted a gap yr but was told engineering don't like it. He said he was glad he hadn't - even the break between the end of A levels and the pre course maths the faculty set in Sept was tricky!

That makes sense 😀. DS is mechanical engineering. If it is the same set up as DS had it actually gets things out of the way (sounds like your DD would love that)

1. early application- get the UCAS statement out the way. Wrote separate additional one about why Cambridge (not long).

2. exam preparation (he went through 3x 2hr past papers, free and revised using 1 set of A level maths revision cards).

3. interview December.

This time scale may not worry your DD as much as maybe additional exams in summer terms etc.

Do you think he should revise maths before starting the the first year @Panicmode1 . Obviously hoping he makes his offer

@yoyo1234 DS didn't, but the faculty sent through 'familiarisation work' they had to do before term started...from memory it was in Sept and was a fair bit of work. They had a test on the day before lectures started and went through it with their supervisor before term, so I wouldn't worry about revision. They will get their pound of flesh out of them!

DD's STEM course is very maths-heavy. Before her first term began she was given some work to do, to make sure her skills were re-awoken after the summer break, but it wasn't anything too arduous from what she told me. Although she did say it wasn't long before the MAT questions looked like child's play.

DS1 is Chemistry at Oxford. He 'only' had Maths rather than FM and found the maths required very challenging. If it's available to new students I'd take up any maths support offered during the summer to make things easier.

DD was in the 2020 intake which never finished their A levels. She found the maths in her economics modules tough as there was a lot of assumed knowledge that she simply didn't have & she's still playing catch up on her 3rd year. I know she would have found any extra support useful. There will be reading lists released by college and subject in the summer which should keep your DC busy.

@Rejects So does the feedback suggest no apparent reason for the rejection? It’s honestly soul-destroying if top applicants just get rejected with no room for improvement.

@Rejects the apparent randomness / lottery of the decision making must be truly hard for you and your DC to process at this time. Some very finely balanced and not necessarily correct decisions are made every year: Very much Oxford’s loss and your DC will clearly flourish wherever he goes. All the very best to you and him as he moves forward.

@Lemonella Correct. The feedback shows on every single metric his scores were higher than the average successful applicant. It does make it very difficult to process and the end of the email saying he’d be a highly competitive candidate should he choose to reapply felt like an extra kick in the teeth, it’s like your boyfriend saying you’re completely perfect but I don’t love you any more but if no one better comes around by this time next year I might consider us gets back together. I’m very happy he’s firmly decided not to go down the reapplication route, it would be really difficult to have to endure this while rollercoaster twice. Thanks again @Juja for your kind words and all the others who DM’d, it’s made a huge difference to getting through these past weeks. My main concern was for the knock this might have on DS’s self-confidence, he is not a “cool” boy, and not sporty – he very much defines himself as an academic – but he seems to have come back from this much better than I have - so long as he gets his second choice!!.

Personally, having been really upset by this, oddly, something snapped yesterday, and I felt “over” it, which is a relief because at one point, I was worried it would make at me forever! It’s just worth those interested in the process to know that it really can be very brutal indeed.

@Rejects so pleased you are feeling better about it all.

There are brilliant academics all over the UK so your DS will find his tribe of studious people. While I did my undergrad at Oxford, my MSc and PhD were at two other Unis and I found equal or more intellectual stimulation away from Oxford.

I am now a very p/t Professor in Practice at a local Uni and again some super minds to rub up against on knotty intellectual matters.

@Rejects your DS and those around him sound amazing! Wishing him all the best in the next stage of his journey armed with the strength of dealing with this outcome.

Someone who DM'd me had me going down a rabbit warren of Oxbridge threads from previous years - they seem much busier than this one. Maybe it's because they were in Covid times and everyone was stuck at home with nothing to do but go online? Anyway, i found a lot of comforting and useful info on them .. having said I was over it, I had a relapse this morning entirely connected to it being Monday and having some work I didn't want to do! 😂

Oh, and thanks again for all the lovely words!

Hello everyone, I have found the advice and support on this thread very helpful for me, as I have tried to support my child through their application to Oxford. So thank you all very much.
They got an offer, which we are all very thrilled with.
Has anyone else's child been invited to an offer holder day? will they take a parent with them?

Hi Sytron

My DS has been invited for an offer holders day in April and he will go on his own. It was his choice but also mine, we had already seen the college, we live in London so easy to get to and he is very excited with Oxford and the college, so no need for another pair of eyes to decide which uni among the offers received. We thought it might be easier to mingle and interact with tutors on his own, but I can see why other parents might prefer to tag along - no one right answer!

I'm accompanying my DD to the offer holder day. The invite makes clear a parent/friend is welcome but limits it to 1 guest. I gave DD the option of attending alone whilst I shopped but she wants me there.

Thank you for your replies. I didn't take my parents when I was at Uni, but I think, like your DD Rumba, they want me along for support - we have had a lot of imposter syndrome and worry that the offer was a mistake somehow.
To be honest, I'd quite like to be the driver and then get to go shopping!

DS has offer holder in March and he’s asked me to come - I think mainly because I can drive him and it’s a 4hr+ drive, so overnight required! He’s been to 3 other offer holders/interviews by himself, so I really think his invite to me is for logistical reasons only. Looks like we’ll be totally separate for the day though which is fine by me. I’ll see/hear what I need to and so will he.

DD did open days on her own, she would be fine going to the offer holder day (it is actually a half day) and can take upto three people. DD says she wants me to go. DH is away so won’t be attending. We did both get to go when she attended the college for an Essay award last summer.

The college are putting on a session for parents while DD does something elsewhere in the college so I don’t feel like I’d be cramping her experience. If they didn’t have a parent focused event I might have talked through more with DD about appropriateness of being there.

Edinburgh sent an offer today but want the same grades as Oxford.

DD has not been sent an offer holder day yet for Oxford and is wondering if it’s as she hasn’t yet firmed the offer?
That would mean withdrawing from Durham consideration which would be fine as she definitely wouldn’t choose it over Oxford and it won’t be a low enough offer to be a back up but she was sort of holding on to see if Durham did offer (which she knows is a bit daft really)

Have all the Oxford offer holder day invites been sent and does firming the offer matter?