My ex (I have 3DDs with him), has around 6 GCSEs, none above a C, and walked into a supervisors job at 17 as his Uncle owned the business. By 20 he was a manager and on 25K. He still works there now, not a clue what he earns. He owns his house, (deposit given by parents, who aren’t educated but are Boomers) nice car, holidays etc.
He doesn’t understand A Levels/Uni, doesn’t understand that what he did was a rare thing back in the early 2000s and impossible now, and that without his Uncle, he’d be on NMW living with his parents or in a house share.
DD1 (Y10) has her eye on Oxbridge. We recently moved areas (from inner city deprived to rural affluent) and her state schools sixth form regularly gets around 7% of their pupils in (right back to the mid 90s) and it’s in an area where it’s either 40K private schools, or one of three state schools - and the one that’s our catchment is the most sought after. The vast majority go to RG.
Prior to moving here, she was “just” aiming for RG. She will have zero issues getting the grades for the either choice, she’s so smart that she genuinely terrifies me at times
I’ve warned her I know naff all about Oxbridge applications and will look it over soon but what I do know is that extra curriculars are expected, related to/regardless of subject chosen, they have to be done.
We have plenty of EC opportunities via school and the local area, but she has such a heavy workload (2-3 hours of HW every evening) that I’m not quite sure where she’s meant to fit it in (leaves home at 7:50am and doesn’t get in till 4pm as it is), is often in tears by a Thursday as she’s so exhausted.
We had a long chat last week and she summed it up really well -
“So you need a combination of - smart parents, rich parents, supportive parents in order to succeed? What about the ones that have smart, supportive but broke parents?”
(Which is basically what I am, middle DD gets HR DLA which limits my earning potential).
I told her that it was still a significantly superior combination to the one I had, and that whatever she needs in order to get where she wants, I’ll make it work and that’s not for her to worry about. Just tell me and I’ll sort it.
And - oddly - my friends are all at least Masters level educated and working in industries where it helps to know people so your teens can get work experience. However, I still have zero connections in comparison to others - nothing in medicine or law.
I worry.