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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Students unprepared for university

267 replies

RampantIvy · 02/10/2022 21:31

I have read such a lot of posts recently on the WIWIKAU Facebook page from parents who are proud of their DC's (usually son's) poor efforts at shopping and cooking and generally looking after themselves.

Why on earth aren't they teaching their DC to cook, go grocery shopping, use a washing machine, wash up and other life skills before they go to university? Confused

OP posts:
willingtolearn · 02/10/2022 21:34

Because we can't all be as fabulous parents as you clearly are.

JenniferBarkley · 02/10/2022 21:36

My DC are 4 and 2 so I can't speak from personal experience but I don't remember being so open to hearing my mother's expertise on housekeeping when I was 17 Grin

ArcticSkewer · 02/10/2022 21:37

Because they learn when they go to uni, so save yourself the effort?

NotLovingWFH · 02/10/2022 21:41

I taught mine to do his washing but anything to do with food he just refused. You can only teach them if they’re willing to learn. Sometimes sink or swim is the only way.

watcherintherye · 02/10/2022 21:42

Ime they’re much more receptive to their g/fs teaching them domesticity, so I leave it up to them!

Comefromaway · 02/10/2022 21:43

I’m probably one of those posts (my post caused much hilarity). Ds is, however, autistic and is never going to shop, cook & eat to mumsnet standards no matter how much I attempt to teach him.

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:43

willingtolearn · 02/10/2022 21:34

Because we can't all be as fabulous parents as you clearly are.

Is teaching basic life skills the barometer of being fabulous?
I’d have thought it pretty basic

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:44

watcherintherye · 02/10/2022 21:42

Ime they’re much more receptive to their g/fs teaching them domesticity, so I leave it up to them!

Christ!

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:45

watcherintherye · 02/10/2022 21:42

Ime they’re much more receptive to their g/fs teaching them domesticity, so I leave it up to them!

And unsurprisingly women continue to enable male helplessness across the generations

PuttingDownRoots · 02/10/2022 21:45

I taught my male housemates basic cooking at university. By basic, I mean curry with a jar of sauce sort of level.

Mine are younger but we ended up teaching a lot of stuff like washing machine usage during lockdown out of boredom. I can see how it would slip in a busy household though.

I don't remember actually being taught this stuff, must of picked it up by osmosis!

SheilaSazs · 02/10/2022 21:45

watcherintherye · 02/10/2022 21:42

Ime they’re much more receptive to their g/fs teaching them domesticity, so I leave it up to them!

WTF??? 😳

Comefromaway · 02/10/2022 21:46

The same applies to girls (I have one of each)

ds’s best mate taught him to make spag Bol. There is no way on earth he’d have been receptive to me teaching him.

LaDamaDeElche · 02/10/2022 21:47

No one really 'taught' me to do any of those things either. I just learnt them myself like most people do. Cooking is only really a thing people teach if they enjoy it themselves and the kids are receptive to learning. I learnt a few dishes from various family members, but only because I was interested in cooking then. Grocery shopping and using a washing machine are hardly rocket science, so not things that need to be taught.

omnishambles · 02/10/2022 21:47

Do you have teenage boys OP? They often only want to learn stuff when they absolutely have to. Which they normally do when they go to university. Problem solved.

JenniferBarkley · 02/10/2022 21:49

I doubt it's a priority during A levels either. I can fully understand parents picking their battles at that time, and prioritising exams over things like laundry, shopping and cooking that can be learned at any stage and, let's face it, aren't that important once you actually try.

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 21:50

Have you tried to teach a reluctant teen op?

HardLanding · 02/10/2022 21:51

watcherintherye · 02/10/2022 21:42

Ime they’re much more receptive to their g/fs teaching them domesticity, so I leave it up to them!

I bet your DILs love you.

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 21:52

My DS was much more receptive than my DD to being taught life skills.

Ylvamoon · 02/10/2022 21:52

You can lead a horse to the water... but you can't make it drink!

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:53

JenniferBarkley · 02/10/2022 21:49

I doubt it's a priority during A levels either. I can fully understand parents picking their battles at that time, and prioritising exams over things like laundry, shopping and cooking that can be learned at any stage and, let's face it, aren't that important once you actually try.

Why on earth aren’t these part of normal family contributions?
kids can learn to use a washing machine and cook basic food from pretty young. It shouldn’t be A level life skills!

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:54

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 21:50

Have you tried to teach a reluctant teen op?

You could start earlier.
I could do basic cooking/baking as a child, washing and ironing by age 11 (always had to do my own shirts for secondary school)

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 21:55

I did start early! But there was no way to make them do it once they hit about 14.

omnishambles · 02/10/2022 21:58

I used to take pride in that sort of sentence @FurAndFeathers until I realised that my parents actually should have been doing for me when I was a tween/teen. Normally a teenager can cook a few dishes, drive and use the washing machine. It's more than enough, they don't need to be running a small laundry operation on the side ffs.

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 21:59

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 21:55

I did start early! But there was no way to make them do it once they hit about 14.

Well you can get them to contribute by cooking family meals (or go hungry) and wash and iron their own clothes (or they stay dirty and creased)

natural consequences.

up to you if you choose to do it for them rather than let them live with the consequences.

FurAndFeathers · 02/10/2022 22:01

omnishambles · 02/10/2022 21:58

I used to take pride in that sort of sentence @FurAndFeathers until I realised that my parents actually should have been doing for me when I was a tween/teen. Normally a teenager can cook a few dishes, drive and use the washing machine. It's more than enough, they don't need to be running a small laundry operation on the side ffs.

A small laundry operation 😂

it’s hardly a dolly tub and mangel

probably explains why they don’t have the life skills to press a couple of buttons on a machine though.

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