Hi everyone, I really need to offload. I am so very worried about dd's UCAT exam later this week. She has done so little preparation - she had lots of good intentions but just hasn't done anything like enough practice. She has now gone over to her boyfriend's house for the fternoon, and while I appreciate that everyone needs a break, she hasn't really done enough to warrant one in my view. Lots of socialising and not very much motivation.
She has always been very sociable, but doing so little work really isn't like her at all, and I'm concerned that she has lost sight of her priorities somehow. If I tentatively suggest that she needs to think really hard about whether she is up for the slog that is medicine if she can't be bothered to put the work in for this test, then I get my head bitten off - she will tell me that she is already really stressed enough as it is, and that she doesn't need me to make it worse. I get that, but there are easier career choices if she wants a less stressful path. I honestly don't care whether she does medicine or goes down a completely different route, I just want her to be happy, but she is insistent that she does really want it and so I don't want her to have regrets later. She has so much potential and talent, and I think she would make an amazing doctor, but right now, I feel like I'm watching a slow motion car crash. It isn't just the UCAT either. She didn't really put enough work in before her summer exams in school, either, and though she did very well in some of them regardless, her results were much more mixed than they have ever been before.
I just don't know what to do. I have never been a pushy parent, and I don't want to start doing that now, but to be honest, I have never had to worry in the pastbecause dd has always been so driven and self motivated, plus she is ridiculously bright so has always excelled even without a huge amount of effort. Admittedly, she has always been last minute about stuff, but she would usually get her head down to work when the time came, whereas she just doesn't seem able to do that this time. I don't know what has gone wrong, whether she has just reached burnout, whether she has just decided that time with her friends is more important, whether she is just being complacent.
Deep down, I think she just believes that she'll pull it out of the bag on the day, like she always does, and maybe she will, but I'm really not so sure. She has done a couple of mocks on medify and they haven't been great.
Ultimately, I think I know that I just need to stand back and let her get on with it, and be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes horribly wrong. She knows what I think, but it's not my life at the end of the day. If she makes mistakes, I guess she'll learn from them, but it's hard not to be so invested in things working out for her. I am probably projecting, too, because I see so much of my own weakness in her...I am the queen of self sabotage and can't bear to see dd doing this to herself. Please help!