Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

I'll sit quietly for a little and nod along :)

Checking in. DS1 is working hard but has been under the weather since the start of term. Latest thing is mouth ulcers ☹️ He and DD are still squabbling about her decision to apply to his most hated Oxford college. Siblings 😬

Hi. I have DS in 4th year and DD who has just started. Both Oxford.

I'm really pleased that both have been able to have some social life and fun for the past couple of weeks. Last year was awful.

I'm surprised at how different colleges are. DS's college has them all 'living in' for 4 years. Poor DD has already had to find a group to live out with next year and enter a ballot, but she doesn't really know people that well.

Also checking in and many thanks @DadDadDad for setting up this next thread.

@SandyBayley, sorry to hear your son has been a bit under the weather since the start of term. There are so many viruses going round. Hope he's not overworking and by the way, very good luck to your DD with her application!

Thank you @DadDadDad for the new thread.

My son is in his second year studying physical natural sciences at Cambridge, and finding the workload much more manageable than first year.

His practicals and supervisions are all face to face, as are two thirds of his lectures.

He has joined a couple of music ensembles in his college and belongs to one university-wide society which meets at another college.

Checking in, thanks @DadDadDad.

Morning, everyone.
DD is in her first term and seems to be settling in well. Her college is one that offers accommodation throughout, for which I am very thankful. However it sounds as if most of the people she socialises with are from other colleges, which surprised me a bit. Early days, though.
As for me, I worry if I hear from her too much (shouldn't she be working? Having fun?) or too little (is she okay? Keeping things from her old mum?). I'm sure there's a happy medium somewhere.

@DahliaMacNamara - welcome to the thread. Oxford or Cambridge?

I don't think there's a right answer on the communication. My inclination is to leave DS to it and wait for him to contact me. (I think back to my day when the only way my parents could speak to me was to wait for me to visit the college pay-phone, otherwise it was good old-fashioned letter writing!).

That said, with things like WhatsApp it's so easy to send the odd message, which he can answer in his own time (student sleep-cycle dependent).

Thank you @DadDadDad. My DD graduated with a Masters in PhysNatSci in July 21 & is now studying for a PhD in Materials Science in the same C college, although this year she has chosen to share a house with friends just to the NE of the city centre. She does supervisions with freshers at her own college and one further out. She sings in a different college's chapel choir - no cassocks, only gowns @Ironoaks - your comment about the choir football team made me laugh. Yes, she plays football for her choir's mixed team and after coxing as an undergrad, now does a mix of coxing and rowing.

I’ve name changed since contributing to earlier threads. DD is joint hons humanity at O.

To be honest she really struggled last year; didn’t click with the household she’d been assigned, and multiple times in lockdown due to the others getting Covid one after another was a nightmare. Over the summer she wondered if she could bear to go back, feeling she had no friends at all. But the upside was that with all her time free to study she did extremely well in prelims, gaining a subject prize. This persuaded her to return and then of course she found she likes it much more this term. She’s still wobbly sometimes, but I’d say she’s found her feet finally.

Thanks DadDadDad. DD is studying PPE. No prizes, lots of sport & chaos so far.

@Apricus, snap, this was almost exactly my ds's experience, right down to the college prize! He had been home since Dec and was reluctant to return but I am now seeing encouraging signs.

That really good that he’s settling, beeswain. I think in such a frenetic environment, amongst so many peers with so very many talents, sometimes an instance of external recognition (whether that’s with academics or a sporting success or socially
or whatever) can help them get through feeling out of place. DD went back knowing that at least something went well last year which helped her be a bit braver in terms of looking for her tribe this term, and your DS too by the sounds of it.

That was me Malbec. I think I had spent too long yesterday in the Christmas dept of my nearest John Lewis looking at Christmas cards.

DS is a fan of a Bridgemas advent calendar (if you start on 11th November then it finishes at the end of term) so I brought two up for him; a pukka tea one and a refillable one with 24 little stockings (filled with chocolates) which he has hung on his noticeboard. He also made sure he packed his Christmas jumper to wear in Bridgemas week.

Bridgemas was definitely squeezed out last year. I have bought DD a Lindt advent calendar to post up to her later this month.

Name change here too.
I have a DD in her first year at Cambridge doing a humanity. She is loving it - working incredibly hard and playing even harder it seems.

Thanks @DadDadDad I love seeing everyone's updates.

D1 (Oxford History joint, just started 2nd yr) seems to have settled in after what was a very rocky time for all of them last year. She's got a college wife and two college children, although there is no-one doing her joint this year (or in the current 3rd yr) and they went to a 'Family formal hall' together recently. She's just bought ball tickets for two balls, one in Hilary and one in Trinity next year. I'm so glad it seems to be a more normal experience for them this term.

The workload is intense of course, but I don't think she has had as many problems sorting out her (joint) timetable as she did last year, when it was a complete nightmare and very stressful.

I've also sent two Advent calendars for Oxmas - the first one arrived early, so she's giving herself an occasional treat from it. The other one is due tomorrow so she can open one box a day until the end of term.

She's living out this year, not far from the Iffley Rd University Sports grounds. Intending to swim but hasn't got round to it yet. Apparently college subs the fees for them so I hope she takes advantage. She's also been to a different college's choir which she enjoyed.

I believe I may have got the last word on the previous thread [smug face]

Thanks very much for the new thread @DadDadDad. Just checking in - my DD is a 2nd year at Oxford, studying geography. Similar experience to @Apricus in first year (well, first term) in that she had quite a few wobbles due to issues with her household and Covid isolating, but things were better by Trinity term (she moved households). Thankfully, this year she's living with her closest friends and loving the more normal student experience with mainly face to face teaching, plus a very active social life, despite having had a very nasty dose of Freshers' Flu in second week. She's joined the college frisbee club and her college choir meaning she gets to sing Evensong in the beautiful chapel - I'm envious

Evening all. Slightly depressing news from the Pant household. DD is overworked and feeling she can't do it any more; I reminded her it was 5th week and that seemed to help. DS has had one bug after another, most recently proper flu and has got behind with his work again. Such a shame as he was more on top of things before the latest bug, which had him laid up for nearly a week. DD2 has been in the throes of her application, submitting four pieces of written work and a recording. But at least no entrance test!

Love the idea of a pre-Bridgemas/Oxmas Advent calendar so have swiped that and ordered one for them each by way of a minor cheer-up.

Pantjog after sitting her prelims in the summer, DD returned in October & immediately caught the lurgy. She's been on antibiotics on & off ever since, but still insists on early morning rowing and other sporting commitments. Yesterday her rowing coach told her to go back to the doctor again. She's run down, but trying to get through the weekly slog of tutes, reading, essay, worksheets etc. I've decided that they are all their own worst enemies.

That should have said "sitting her prelims with Covid". I'm convinced the side effects are still lurking.

Poor DD @Hoghgyni.

I just don’t remember ever being properly ill as a student. But there are so many of them having nasty illnesses at the moment. And burning the candle at both ends certainly doesn’t help.

pantjog DD4 also doing Classics - but Course II - is also finding the workload very, very intense. She's in her second year of course, not third. Our communications are now almost exclusively WhatsApp rather than phone, which is incredibly unusual for us. A definite sign that work plus play is leaving almost no other time in the day at all. At school she always managed work with supreme ease, so this is quite striking. Pictures of the newest member of the family (Billy the puppy) prompts plenty of comments, and I'm pretty confident that she's happy and well - but definitely under pressure.