Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

@goodbyestranger DD1 is prone to hyperbole but I think in this instance she isn’t overegging things. And of course your DD has Mods looming.

Sorry to hear about the students with flu and other illnesses. The terms are quite intense and don't leave much room for convalescence.

So sorry @SandyBayely and @pantjog that your DSs are struggling with the after effects of 'flu. It's no fun feeling sub par halfway through term.

DD (fourth year MBiol, Oxford) says she hasn't properly got going yet this term. She is "behind with everything" in her words but is philosophical. She is performing at the Union Ball tomorrow night so learning the choreography is her priority right now.

DS (second year, humanities, Cambridge) has five supervisors and seems to be turning out an essay every 48 hours. His lectures are still online but he doesn't mind as he can fit them in around his tennis schedule.
We communicate via WhatsApp with DS and FaceTime with DD.

Thank you for the new thread DadDadDad. It’s great to read everyone’s news.

DS is doing fine, second year physicist, overseas student, central college. Socialising, working, rowing, quite a bit of music.

DD has applied to follow in his footsteps, so she’s waiting to see if she gets an interview or not.

I hope everyone’s DC recovers from flu/lurgie/enormous workload.

I’m now more worried than I was before as DH (a doctor) has told DS to go and get tested for glandular fever and warned him of the dangers of returning to sport too early. DH is the opposite end of the worry scale from me usually so the fact that he is mentioning this is making me fret.

Really hoping your poor DS can rule out glandular fever, @pantjog .

Long term lurker here

Dd is a second year student at a very central Oxford college studying an humanities subject

Refreshers flu - check
Horrible snotty cold - check
Making up for almost zero social events in Yr1 - check
Are they connected - probably

Second year humanities too. I never knew the term post nasal drip existed until today, but she has it. Boots has completely sold out of zinc, vit C, vit D and any other pills she could pop. She's been told to rest for a few days. Right.

Just got a lovely picture of DS1 at the 'Moulin Rouge' themed OU ball happening tonight. With his lovely girlfriend as well. No message needed, the picture was enough 😊

Another lurker coming out of the woodwork. Thank you for this and the previous fantastic thread.

DS is a chemistry fresher at Oxford, seemed to be having fun for the first few weeks (not very communicative) but had a distressed call last week saying he wanted to give up and come home because the work was overwhelming. Thank goodness he now seems to be back on track, at least for now. It's a rollercoaster and I'm sure this won't be the last crisis. I'm hoping he gets more used to the huge amount of work and that the first term of the first year is the hardest...?

@lazyboysmum - DS1 is a 2nd year chemist. He's found it very challenging. Better this year though. DM me if you want to chat.

Ta for the new thread. It has been a rocky start this year for DD too. So poorly and run down we collected her today so she can have a long weekend at home. Hopefully it puts some vim back into her.

@SandyBayley my DD is there too!

@Unescorted poor DD. Hope a lovely rest at home helps.

Ta.. fingers crossed.

@DadDadDad DD is at Oxford.
Her workload doesn't sound as arduous as many of the DC on here yet, though I think she has fewer irons in the fire than those who are trying to fit in serious choral and sport commitments. There's plenty to occupy her, all the same. She's trying to convince me she's taking her health seriously and looking after herself, then letting slip about ridiculous bedtimes. Not that I ever went to bed at 5am as a student, dear me, no.

@Unescorted - your poor DD. I have to admit I was tempted to pick up DS1 last week. A weekend of bed and good food will do her good.

@pantjog - too funny. I woke up this morning to a picture of him with Dick and Dom!

I wrote this for the last thread but it was closed : These kind of threads have kept me going the last 4 or 5 years. Application and freshers year, invaluable advice gained.

Nice to hear of all your trips. I'm off to see DD in C this weekend. So excited still. Hope to do a bit of Christmas shopping and will do our one and only parent college dinner.

Good luck all. I like to still peek at the thread. Keep going, always a help!!!

And cheers OYBBK and malbecfan, your posts have always been so helpful.

And mutterphore, from the edge I've enjoyed reading about the long journey of your twins. Their success is heartwarming.

And all really, your stories make us realise we are all their in the wings ready to support and have been for many years. Well done parents!

Workload advice. DD still finds it hard year 4 but year one was the most strenuous for her. Every year, her grades improve a bit more.

Good morning. I was wondering if I can ask for some advice?

DH and I have too much holiday time so thought we'd go to Oxford for a few days as we'd love to have a proper look around and to go to one of DS's formal dinners before he leaves.

DS seems quite happy to show off his college (wasn't sure if it would be odd having parents there) but I'm not sure what I should wear! DS can advise his dad whether to wear a suit or DJ, but can't help me.

So would I wear a cocktail dress, long dress? I've no idea. I'm really not a dressy person at all.

It doesn't help that we won't know until nearer the time whether he can get tickets to very formal or just normal formal!

Does anyone know the 'rules' for women's wear?

And any suggestions for things to do. We will obviously go to the museums and Blenheim. But not sure of anything else. It will be January so not outdoor weather!

Many thanks for any help!

The indoor market is nice for a wander, as long as you aren't veggie, then I'd imagine it would be a bit traumatising!

cheers Sunndowne!
I think first year is worst for workload. I don't know whether it eases off after, or they get more efficient at it.

DD wears short little black dresses (or dark green) to formals, the sort of thing you would wear to a nice restaurant for dinner. Her academic uncles would wear a suit (they're far more likely to be invited than us).

She had to submit 2 essays and 2 worksheets most weeks as a fresher as she's joint honours. It was a car crash of late nights, panic stricken WhatsApp messages, early self isolation which threw her initially and bereavements and family illnesses. Somehow she got through despite sitting her prelims with Covid in the summer (regulars may recognise this story).

This year she has had a calmer start with only 2 modules, but it's hard. She hears of friends at Durham, Exeter & Bristol only submitting one or two assessments each term and realises they have no idea just how intense everything is in her life.

It's so lovely to hear how everyone's DC is doing and very good wishes for a speedy recovery for those with sick, ill and exhausted DCs.

@Pantjog, I really hope your DS hasn't got glandular fever. Hopefully he just needs lots of rest and relaxation, which is nigh on impossible this time in the term for all our hard-working DCs.

Especially good wishes to those with Freshers. I always think that there are two separate things to get to grips with, academically, at Oxbridge - one is the work per se but two is the new mindset of grappling with far too much work, none of which can be done perfectly (very difficult for our DCs I'm sure) and just barely achieving each week's goals, when you then have to tackle the next week's straightaway.

Even DC1 (C) - notoriously laid back - suddenly has a whole tsunami of work to do in the last 3 weeks of term, alongside the 'normal' weekly essay, simply given the way work deadlines have come in. He's very very lucky that all he's got is the tail-end of a bad cold and nothing worse.

DS2(O) was also at the Union Ball last night but I only know he made it back safely and will have to wait for more news later.

@Whiteroseredrose, you are privileged to be allowed to go to one of your DS's Formals! I doubt my DCs will ever invite me and even the one term-time visit with them that I've had since they began to O & C had to be on neutral territory in London! At least I was allowed to see them this term. Both do seem extremely happy and that's all that matters.

Awww @Sunndowne that's very kind of you.

@whiteroseredrose when we went to a formal at DD's C college, I wore a smart dress (one I wear for formal school concerts when I'm conducting as opposed to playing) and boots. DH wore a lounge suit. DD's Bf wore a suit under his gown, DD wore a nice dress under her gown. We didn't have to wear academic dress because we aren't members of the college (even though DH has the full set of PhD clobber) and weren't at the top table. One tip was that DD had managed to sneak away 2 bottles that had contained college wine and bore the stamp of corkage. I took a bottle of red & a bottle of white and in her kitchen watched my PFB expertly decant both into the college bottles to save money. She didn't spill a drop - proud mummy moment!

Unescorted - the very best of wishes to your DD. Fingers firmly crossed for some vim.