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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

University 2019/20 intake: vacations, vaccinations, va-va-voom restored and virtually into their third year

990 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 18/06/2021 10:34

Previous thread

OP posts:
icanbewhatiwant · 12/12/2021 09:18

I have a poorly Ds. He's been in bed since last Monday (at his uni house) he says he can't sleep. Headache, jaw ache, cough, blocked nose etc. He's finding eating difficult as his jaw and teeth hurt. He's done a couple of LFT's. Negative. He sent a pcr off weds. But not had results. I suggested he phone the walk in centre yesterday. They were useless. Told him it's probably covid. I don't think it will be. But I wish the result would get back. A friend sent 2 off recently and they took 6 days. Ds is close enough for me to visit, but I don't want to go near him really. I don't think there's much I can do. His 5 housemates are fine. It's worrying when they aren't home.

simbobs · 12/12/2021 09:53

@icanbewhatiwant Sorry to hear that your DS is so poorly. It could equally be the so-called super-cold that is doing the rounds. Friends of ours (mum, dad and DD) have had it and say it is the worst that they can remember. My friend is still feeling the effects 2 weeks later. Whatever he has the treatment is the same - rest, fluids and cold&flu meds. Either way people need to keep their distance as this is also very infectious. Hope he is better soon.

RampantIvy · 12/12/2021 09:59

@simbobs one of DD's friends struggled through his second year. He was diagnosed with ADHD and spoke to his personal tutor who agreed that he shouldn't sit his end of year exams and that he could redo his second year, which he is now doing.

Do you think that your DS might have something else going on? He really needs to contact student support over this.

icanbewhatiwant · 12/12/2021 10:09

@simbobs thanks. He's been into the kitchen to get food, after I insisted he must eat. He shares a bathroom too. Other than that he's in his room. But so far no one else is ill. One of the lads is flying out to Dubai on Tuesday. I'm assuming he needs to do a covid test before he can fly. Hopefully his covid test will return quicker than ds's.

RampantIvy · 12/12/2021 10:14

I hope your DS feels better soon @icanbewhatiwant

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 12/12/2021 10:34

@simbobs you are certainly not an imposter and these things could happen to any of our DC. Really sorry both yours are struggling at the moment. Hope your DS gets on the case (or your DH if necessary). I think sometimes at that age they are not always able to quite put their finger on what's wrong if they're struggling.

@RampantIvy sorry to hear your DD has been struggling. It's always a very full-on term not least because it's long and pressured, whether you're in school or university.

And really sorry to hear your DS has been unwell @icanbewhatiwant and hoping his (nad this friend's) tests come back negative.

DS was really ill for a fortnight with some type of mega throat infection but being him he didn't do a PCR. I don't think he was out and about much if at all in that timeframe as he felt too ill. Couldn't easily swallow anything. He's much better now but catching up on assignment work (he has several pieces of work due this coming week).

OP posts:
icanbewhatiwant · 12/12/2021 10:47

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 thanks. Yes he's having trouble eating and swallowing. He's left his work till the last minute as usual. So his proposal for his dissertation was due thurs. He's asked for an extension as he's not even started it and is apparently too ill to do it. They get a 3 working day extension, so with the weekend that gives him 5 extra days. I hope he can do it.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 12/12/2021 10:55

@icanbewhatiwant hope your DS gets his dissertation proposal in on time, with the extension. Not the pressure you need when you should be winding down for Christmas, is it?

OP posts:
simbobs · 12/12/2021 11:27

@RampantIvy he almost certainly has ADHD but will do nothing to pursue a formal diagnosis. He was so resistant to the idea when he was younger, and lack of appropriate services where we live meant that we didn't do it either. DD has been trying to persuade him to look into it. She, too, struggles with this, though we were blissfully unaware in her case. She has been referred but her appointment is not until the summer.

bigTillyMint · 12/12/2021 13:07

Oh dear @simbobs - there are a huge number of undiagnosed people out there. And not enough appropriate support, particularly to students at uni

RampantIvy · 12/12/2021 13:26

he almost certainly has ADHD but will do nothing to pursue a formal diagnosis.

He needs to get the idea out of his head that having a "label" for ADHD is absolutely not a negative thing to have. DD's friend is having a much better year because he now gets the right support, and the medication he is on has made a massive difference. He is getting his work done and submitting it on time.

There is nothing wrong in admitting that there is an issue. He isn't less of a person because of it. I really hope that the next year brings better things for all of you @simbobs.

simbobs · 12/12/2021 13:38

Thank you @RampantIvy. The problem is that he is never here and not registered with a GP there. We will have another go when we next see him.

RampantIvy · 12/12/2021 14:14

I put two negatives. Having a daignosis is not a bad thing, but I think you knew what I meant.

simbobs · 12/12/2021 18:16

I feel that I should point out that DS's problems aren't exclusively Adhd related, merely that he is juggling too many balls and studying is the one that he has dropped. He is really enjoying student life for the first time.

Benjispruce5 · 12/12/2021 18:30

Gosh it’s all such a struggle for our young people. I don’t remember feeling that pressure. I know I didn’t go to uni but when I finished A levels I went straight into work and enjoyed living at home but as independent as I could. DD is determined to move out and I totally understand but today she admitted that she’s overwhelmed with trying to find holiday work to fund her social life(which is big) next term and juggling that with applying for graduate schemes and working on her dissertation. I’m relieved that she didn’t go on the ski trip with her friends as she really can’t afford it but this is where being at Durham with those that can, makes you feel like Oliver Twist!!

RampantIvy · 12/12/2021 18:35

We were thinking of staying with family this Christmas, but DD has a lot of work to do over the holidays and can't afford even a few days off.

She finally got to talk to her dissertation supervisor after a stressful couple of weeks, and she said he was really nice and very supportive.

simbobs · 12/12/2021 19:48

My DS has a job to fund his social life but they want him to work right up to Christmas Eve and to also put in a few shifts between Christmas and New Year. I am unhappy about this, and it majorly affects my food plans, as DS is the biggest eater. We have not seen much of him since September so I wanted us to have a little family time. If he was supposed to be studying for exams he won't fit it in.

bigTillyMint · 13/12/2021 07:22

@Benjispruce5, DS didn’t go on the ski trip either - he said way too expensive! He is not even attempting to find holiday work, as applying for summer vacation schemes is taking so much time alongside study… but he is really enjoying his flat and social life this year after the shitshow last year, so praying Covid doesn’t wreck the Spring Term

VanCleefArpels · 13/12/2021 10:49

Hello all - sounds like they are all limping towards the end of term for one reason or another.

What are we all thinking about them testing for covid before they come h9me / see older relatives etc over Xmas? I’m so nervous about cancelling seeing my parents again this Christmas (as are the young people) that we are basically going to lock ourselves down from here on, just in case. Couldn’t give a rats arse after Boxing Day but things seem so precarious at the moment!

simbobs · 13/12/2021 11:20

@VanCleefArpels I think it eminently sensible that DC take a test before coming home. Mine has a lot of diverse personal contacts, and lives with several others; also he will have to come home by train. DH and I are both boosted, and I hope to be able to book DD a booster in the next few weeks. If this is as infectious as they say there is no real way of escaping potential contact with an infected person unless you are fully shielding, which I have no intention of doing. I will carry on with the reasonable precautions that I have adopted throughout, but am going to see close family this week that I last saw 2 years ago. It would be pretty unfortunate if any of them tested positive, though...

Benjispruce5 · 13/12/2021 20:09

@VanCleefArpels DD came home last week and tested before as she has a cough. Negative so far.
@bigTillyMint the ski trip was £800-£1k!!!! How students live these days???

Benjispruce5 · 13/12/2021 20:13

To be honest I spend my days in primary classrooms so basically, with the unvaccinated. I felt quite safe after my booster. This week, I’m limping towards breaking up on Friday and praying we make it without getting infected. Still got nativity plays to get through.

Benjispruce5 · 13/12/2021 20:14

To be honest I spend my days in primary classrooms so basically, with the unvaccinated. I felt quite safe after my booster. This week, I’m limping towards breaking up on Friday and praying we make it without getting infected. Still got nativity plays to get through.

icanbewhatiwant · 13/12/2021 20:51

Ds1 is still messaging telling me how poorly he is. Can't stop coughing etc. His covid test finally came back this eve. Took 5 days. Negative. I'm not sure what I'm meant to do really. I suggested he calls the gp tomorrow. The gp wouldn't see him without a negative test.

Benjispruce5 · 13/12/2021 21:22

@icanbewhatiwant this is what DD hadShe thinks it was a chest infection as a friend had pneumonia. She lost appetite and weight too. GP wanted a PCR before seeing her!!! By the time she got a negative result she was on the mend.