Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

University 2019/20 intake: vacations, vaccinations, va-va-voom restored and virtually into their third year

990 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 18/06/2021 10:34

Previous thread

OP posts:
minesawine · 01/12/2021 09:52

Morning. Are any of you struggling to get your DC's to think about life after uni. My DS has been quite good in finding work during uni and had a great summer internship, but now the end is in sight he is refusing to even think about work or anything at all after he finishes in June. He said lots of his mates are now applying for jobs and some have even secured roles but he doesn't want to think about it. I am trying not to push too much as its his life to sort out, but he cant come home and then rely on me to fund him as his uni costs have left me broke. I'm not sure how to play this one. Any advice?

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 01/12/2021 10:10

@minesawine DS is the same. I get the feeling he feels a bit overwhelmed by 'what's next'. Hasn't really thought about Masters courses, hasn't applied for a single graduate scheme yet (and has dismissed things like the Civil Service: "I don't want to work for the government!"), doesn't think it's the right time to go and find himself abroad (he may be right about that one though in current climes), and although he's anticipating being really hard-up towards the end of his rental period next summer, hasn't done much to secure a short-term 'fill-in' job for that period.

I wonder if the nature of the pandemic (upending plans repeatedly and at very short notice) is making people reluctant to commit to things?

So, unfortunately, I don't have any advice Sad. I'm all ears too though Wink.

I guess we just have to hope they will find a way through it in their own time. DS is definitely very focused on his dissertation and studies and girlfriend at the moment, so that's a positive.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 01/12/2021 10:34

No. DD needs to get her health sorted out first. She doesn't have the ability to do full time work just now.

She was disappointed with the question she was given for her dissertation. Her course doesn't give them a choice of questions.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 01/12/2021 10:37

Sorry to hear that your DD didn't get any choice in her dissertation question @RampantIvy. That's shocking. I can think of nothing worse than having to research something that is of little real interest to you, and that your final degree classification partly depends on it.

OP posts:
minesawine · 01/12/2021 11:46

Thanks @NewModelArmyMayhem18. I am glad it not just me, and you are right about all the uncertainty of the last couple of years. My DS is also really crack on with his dissertation and has just had another set of exams, which he is happy about. I have decided that I am going to gently probe him over his turkey leg when he comes home for xmas, and get an idea of where his head is at.

bigTillyMint · 01/12/2021 12:38

@minesawine, is there any chance of a job offer from the internship? I know of students who landed jobs this way.
I remember DD telling me that most of her friends were overwhelmed by the thought of what to do after finishing - I think it’s very normal. Lots of grads get a local job when they finish as they think about what to do next and apply, which is hellishly time-consuming. A friends DD who graduated in the summer looks like she might have just landed a good job - I think it’s fine for them to take their time (as long as they work whilst!)

Sorry your DD didn’t get a choice of question and is disappointed @RampantIvy - that’s difficult for her.

icanbewhatiwant · 01/12/2021 20:16

Ds1 doesn't seem that bothered about what he's going to next either. I think he's just planning on his usual summer job from July to sept. I have told him he needs to start looking now, not September. He has already said he doesn't want to work in a lab. (Biology degree) He'd quite like to go into agronomy. But not sure on the route to do that.

Notagardener · 01/12/2021 22:07

DC never managed to even get an internship.
Seems quite busy with uni work so don't think he has looked much for jobs. He is thinking about a master's but deadline for some is approaching quickly

RampantIvy · 01/12/2021 22:41

Only one of DD's friends managed to get an internship this year, and it was for just the summer.

I hope students don't get penalised for not being able to get industrial placements due to covid. All the post grad degrees DD has looked at have asked for placement experience as well as a good degree.

minesawine · 02/12/2021 07:25

@bigTillyMint My DS was offered a graduate role by his internship, but he wasn't keen. My view was to take something and then work on getting the job you really want, his view is to not compromise and life is too short to spend it doing things you don't want to. Oh to be young and idealistic!

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 02/12/2021 07:55

@minesawine excellent that your DS was offered a job even if that's not what he wants to do. Good to know he's very employable! DS has just done temp admin-type temporary jobs. Reckons he wants to work in business or finance but hasn't really done anything to give himself quality experience to add to his CV.

OP posts:
blametheparents · 02/12/2021 11:56

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 - Don't worry, I wouldn't say that experience was a huge factor. DS has only ever worked in a pub and managed to get a job in the same field.

Have sent DS a Xmas food package which should arrive today with some treats in there for their house Xmas dinner.

Do any of your DCs do a house Xmas dinner? DS and his housemates did it last year. I saw photos and was surprised at how good it looked! Sadly, he still didn't help on Xmas day at home! Grin

bigTillyMint · 02/12/2021 17:54

@blametheparents, yes, DS cooked most of the Christmas dinner for his house last year! Frankly I was amazed Grin

blametheparents · 02/12/2021 18:02

@bigTillyMint - I think DS must’ve been very much the pot washer! Though maybe I do him a disservice.

RampantIvy · 02/12/2021 18:12

DD loves cooking and they have had a flat Christmas dinner and a house Christmas dinner. I expect they will do the same this year. There are only 4 of them sharing this time though.

Benjispruce5 · 02/12/2021 19:25

DD had a house Christmas dinner last year that looked great. They had candles and crackers too. 4 of them are the same this year but 5 altogether and they all like to cook so no doubt they’ll do another this year. She’s home around 11th but not sure how long for. There was talk of NYE back up there but may have changed.

Ragwort · 03/12/2021 07:37

My DS is in a four year course so he's not really thinking about jobs yet, but he's currently loving his intern job and they have already offered him a graduate role when he finishes, so even if he doesn't accept it at least it's good to know he is employable and it's great experience for him. He's also negotiated an early finish, he didn't start the job until end September and it's meant to be for a year which would mean straight back to Uni in Sept 2022 but they have said he can finish end July so he's happy about that.

His 'best mate' has just been offered a graduate job ( in betting analysis - who knew there were jobs like that? Grin) so he is quite aware of the importance about career planing and at least having some thoughts on the future ... also talking about doing a Masters though ....

simbobs · 03/12/2021 08:24

Gosh, this discussion sounds very grown up! Finding a proper job at the end of uni? My DS has stated that he just doesn't feel ready, and we have agreed not to push him as long as he actually finishes his degree. We have had very little communication from him on how this is going, apart from the fact that his latest essay had not been auto-saving on his computer, and he had lost most of the work! I despair! I strongly suspect that his Cloud storage is full and that he has done nothing about it.

Few of my older DD's friends are actually in proper work, despite having good degrees, inc Biology. Lack of experience has seemed to hold them back, and like many others on this thread my DS didn't find a placement in industry this year. Well done indeed to those who have found actual jobs.

Benjispruce5 · 11/12/2021 19:42

DD came home today. Not seen her since September. She’s already declared that there is no way she’s moving home after uni for more than a summer. Hmm

simbobs · 11/12/2021 20:14

@Benjispruce5 mine was here last night for one night only, as there was a party. Now he has gone back and won't be home until Christmas Eve, but will only stay a couple of days as he has to work - at his paid job. Uni has been a disaster this year. He can't seem to get an appointment with student support to sort out what he is going to do. DH has given him Monday to get in front of someone or he is going to ring the uni himself. He is pretty happy with the remainder of his life, just not his studies. I feel like an imposter on this thread!

Benjispruce5 · 11/12/2021 20:18

@simbobs you’re defending not an imposter. None of us know how things will pan out for our students. Is your DS leaving uni?

Benjispruce5 · 11/12/2021 20:18

Definitely not defending

RampantIvy · 11/12/2021 20:22

Please don't feel like that @simbobs. I'm sorry that things are so grim for your DCs just now.

DD has had a bad week with her CFS. She managed to ace an exam on Monday, but the stress of it has just wiped her out for the rest of the week. She went to the Christmas ball last night but rang at 10 o'clock to say that she was so tired and feeling panicky. I told her to get an Uber home and let me know when she got there. She didn't message agin until lunchtime leaving me to worry about her all night.

bigTillyMint · 11/12/2021 20:50

@Benjispruce5, that’s what DD said before she finished. She’s been back 2 months since she finished her MSc and isn’t planning to move out AFAIK Confused Meanwhile DS is back to his gfs place - one of the benefits of him having a local gf Smile

@simbobs, please don’t feel that - my sympathies, life is not often a straight and easy path Flowers

@RampantIvy, sorry for your DD and you worrying.

Not sure when we will ever stop worrying.

simbobs · 11/12/2021 22:15

@Benjispruce5 I hope that he will stay on but don't know what his options are. He knows that he has messed up this year, missing a submission deadline and losing an essay in the ether. I think he would be better to restart in September and work this year. Of course, they might not keep him on after Christmas...

@RampantIvy sorry to hear that your DD is having a tough week. Mine hasn't managed to get further than the bathroom today. The so called treatment that she is being offered for her cfs is woefully inadequate, just a telephone consultation.