Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

In case people are wondering what this is - this is a thread for MN whose DC's have been redirected from Oxbridge

It hit me like a tonne of bricks this morning! I know so many people were waiting for my DC's results yesterday. I really tried to keep it low key but as they have kids in the same year they unfortunately knew it was results day yesterday. I really tried to keep his application low key and didn't even tell my mum when he got the interview to reduce the pressure............

Hasn't really helped to dampen the disappointment though. It's the injustice of it all!

I know there were fabulous applicants from his school who didn't get offered so he was well prepared for the rejection as the day went on ....... my DC is being philosophical but I don't think I will get over it for a while.

I think he will choose Durham now so trying to get enthusiastic about that. Just can't get over it being so far away

Thanks for starting the thread @chopc - I've migrated .

Thank you for this, was lurking but shall come out now. DT1 was redirected yesterday too, feel so sad for him as he is very disappointed. Got 1 offer from Bath, waiting on St A’s mainly now. How do we perk them up when they are already so down with life at the moment?

Thanks @chopc for new thread, I know how you feel, I think hardest part is telling people, had to tell family and close friends and say yes we ok etc and in reality, am so deflated for her, trying not to show it to much though and keep upbeat.
She would like to go Durham, but am worried as have read good and bad things about it, trying to keep open mind ...

How far is Durham for you @chopc? Its 6hrs away from us.

I had a chat to my son last night snd he was quite philosophical about it - as I mentioned before I think it helped that equally brilliant applicants from his school also didn't make it - misery loves company and that!

I think we need to pick ourselves up and be perky and positive about the other options

I have just had a look at History at Durham- you get 8.5hrs contact in the first year, 6.5 in the second and 4.5 in the third or something like that. My DS thrives when he is busy and under pressure so it will be a whole new way of learning for him

My husband who did History in Leeds said that is what the History degree is like in most places - perhaps with Cambridge being an exception

@par05 it's 5 hrs. That's one of the first things I did - check the distance
I would much rather he goes to UCL but thinks he wants to go to Durham

What are the negatives you have heard about Durham?

Aww thanks for thread @chopc
Dd felt mentally exhausted towards the end of the process and she looked pale and tired last night. I’m hoping she’ll feel a bit more settled today. We both wanted it over .. didn’t mean she wasn’t disappointed though.
DD’s upset and disappointment was tempered by a friends redirection of whom Dd said “ if she didn’t get in, then no one should have”.
You are right @chopc, it’s the injustice of it all.
Dd found the fact they told her she’d been pooled but not fished out worse rather than better.
I thought the process was brutal if I’m honest . I think perhaps it was worse in a covid year?
I felt a little bit of relief when I woke up this morning. So onwards!
What other offers do your dcs have (or are waiting for)?.
Dd will eventually firm up Durham I think . She was very lucky to get a surprise early offer from them . She looked at the course again yesterday and did pros and cons against her other offers . It helped a great deal . If she firms them, she is eligible for contextual offer. It mucks up her insurance possibilities though! (ie the one she wanted as insurance will be a higher offer) .

I have a 2 x Oxford reject - despite DS being a very strong candidate on paper (and having way more aptitude for history than the average Oxford offer holder last year.... still waiting on this year's feedback).

At this point there's only 2 things that will pacify him (and his mother).

1. Getting a Durham offer
2. Durham winning University Challenge

Thanks for the new thread @chopc. Checking in - DD redirected from Oxford for English

There is a few threads on mumsnet some are really in favour and others are not, my dd is ethnic minority and state school, I will try to link the threads, but also don't want to put downer on things as that is where alot including dd will probably go..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/4018571-Durham-University-Freshers-Group-The-Times

I saw the negative reports about Durham in the press last summer ( I think?! Lost track of time) . I had a conversation about it on the current students Durham thread who were really supportive and reassuring.
Durham is about 3 hours away by train from us .

@MidLifeCrisis007 huge virtual hugs- yes even from a stranger.

What was his feedback last year? What is he thinking about it all? Does he rate the History degree in Durham? Fingers crossed for him and all others waiting for their second choice Unis

Commiserations @Stitchintimesaves9 - what is her next choice?

@321zyx @hollypocks commiserations to you guys as well - what are your DC's next steps?

I think I "know" the others from the previous thread but apologies for any I have missed

@Beetlesand that's really good to know. I do think I might be over worrying I hope I am.

Hi @hollypocks .. welcome . It’s so hard for them isn’t it? Lots of crap box sets and chocolate might be the way to go! We are doing craft together and I even bought some play dough the other day which made us all laugh
@par05- Dd also state school and mixed race . .

@par05 yes I saw that thread. Truth be told you get privileged little shits like that in all walks of life.

What your DD needs to hold on to is the belief that SHE is great and is as good as anyone else. Try and exude confidence yourself even if you don't feel it. I can't explain it but this is the difference between kids from private schools and state - the self assurance and confidence as they have been repeatedly told that they are special

May be outing but my DH went to a top London private and I went to a grammar. We were both in different but great careers. The difference was the conviction in our ability. After being married to him for 19 years I think it has rubbed off on me now ...... finally

@MidLifeCrisis007 - they were great on UC the other night weren’t they!

@Beetlesand - Durham won their quarter final round last night too (Against Strathclyde) so are now through to the semis. However they've lost in the semis for the last 2 years.

Still, it proves a point - Durham has some very bright students!

PS I got rejected from Oxford in 1984.
PPS I graduated from Durham in 1988

@chopc I agree about the confidence thing.
Fortunately Dd has attitude and kicks ass .. it was me who was fretting. I also think that this probably happens at many universities . Very good that it was outed at Durham imo.

Morning all!

@chopc - great thread title, love it.

DS redirected from NatSci Cambridge, hoping for an offer from Imperial.

I'm ashamed to say I cried last night when I went to bed. I'd been holding it together fairly well all day and certainly wanted to be positive for ds about all his other great options- and they are great - but when the day finally ended I was just so sad.

Hopefully today I can be a bit more philosophical and strangely whilst I feel for all the deserving superstar DC who didn't get in some of the stories from the other thread - people top in the country for gcse not getting offers etc - helped a bit.

Is it o.k. for me to join in? I feel a bit of an interloper.

DS feeling a bit daft for not putting Durham down but honestly for us it's a bit of a trek so I'm relieved.

Currently, weighing up Bristol, Exeter and Warwick offers for History. I know many Bristol Alumni and it sounds wonderful, so we are swaying in that direction but need to properly weigh up the pros and cons.

He awaits St. Andrews but again it's too far and probably not right anyway.

Are any of your DC's considering deferring?

Or trying again?

DS is a rather unusual mix of creative and academic so is keen to do a one-year art foundation course before embarking on his History degree.

I am secretly hoping he might consider reapplying to Cambridge if he does that, but he doesn't seem keen to do that currently.

@Pumpkintopf I may be outing myself but DS goes to a school normally has a huge success rate with Oxbridge applicatinos..

To get into the school is a huge achievement and yet despite faultless GCSE results and predicted grades they are just not getting the places as they do in usual years. This is providing DS a lot of relief!

So there is definitely something afoot - I wonder when the offer numbers will come out?

I really do expect them to be less than last year ((and I still can't decide whether that makes it better or worse! That in other years they probably would have got offers!)