"DS went to state primary / secondary and sixth form college. We are ‘northern’, reasonably ordinary etc. and I just worry he won’t get as broad an experience as he would at say, Bristol (big buzzy trendy city).
He is super clever and driven but also plays guitar in a band / writes their music / plays rugby at a decent level / has hippy vegan tendencies 🤣 "
I posted a rubbish response to something similar yesterday- was so mortified I asked for it to be deleted. Will try to do better today.
- no, of course the experience isn't as broad as being in bristol but isn't his first job likely to be in London/bigcity after that? He has the rest of his life to live in cities.
- The Durham problem is that the people-who've-been-taught-to-be-obnoxious-and-tell-you-it's-funny can be quite dominant in some colleges because they are present disproportionately (the only other place with as high a percentage is St Andrews). But your son sounds like he wouldn't give a shit. That would earn him instant respect.
The key with these people is when they ask what school you went to to say the name of your school - no explanation, no apology. When they start their endless rounds of in-jokes ["left-footers" meant Catholic, I learnt in a particularly boring evening] you need to be able to walk away. And never, ever, ever, start remembering all the boring shit they tell you about Rugby school verus Ampleforth.
They are very insecure but not usually trying to bully - it's the weird culture of [some of] this country's [not quite top] boarding schools that they've been brought up with.
I think in truth they would admire your son - possibly openly so. In my Durham college (one of the worst) they openly admired and treated as a leader those more mature people who just weren't bothered (sadly I was not one of those mature people).
So it's a case of needing to be a bit more mature/sure of yourself/secure.