Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

Here bend
www.dur.ac.uk/study/ug/apply/contextualoffers/

Well, congratulations to your dd in any case @Beetlesand is Durham her first choice now?

@Beetlesand

I don’t know *@BigWoollyJumpers* . I’m confused too! There is no point putting a higher offer as insurance surely? .. does your Dd have a lower offer they can use? I’m sure someone else will come along with the answer soon

I actually saw a university admissions person on YouTube recommend this, reversing the higher and lower offer.

He said something like put the achievable AAA down as your firm choice and then A A A as your insurance. That way if you get A* AA you haven't lost your firm and still get on the course.

But if you get A A A then you can see if there are any spaces on the course at any other uni. You already have a guaranteed place so have nothing to lose if you believe that A A A was a bit of a stretch.

Ds original insurance offer was Leeds with AAA but then Durham dropped from A AA and offered AAA so now Durham is technically his insurance! Warwick want A A A (same as Cambridge) Manchester want A AA. But if he chooses Durham as his first choice there is a contextual AAB.

So he has 4 offers and is as confused as ever

DD is almost certainly firming Durham A*AA and insuring with Exeter AAA.

She's just waiting to hear from St Andrews and Edinburgh. She may be tempted by St Andrews but they don't make many offers as it's such a tiny institution.

I just hope she meets the grades for Durham as there's still so much uncertainty surrounding A Levels.

We were in this situation last year and felt exactly the same.

DS is extraordinarily happy at Durham - even in its current peculiar state.

I think it's so hard for your guys as they have no sport/music/drama stuff to keep them busy and distract them.

Hi all. Thanks @chopc for starting the thread.

I must also admit a few tears at bedtime last night. I was feeling very bleak with what feels like constant fucking bad news on repeat. It felt like we'd invested so much and we were left with nothing. I also felt angry yesterday, with the world, with Gavin Bastard Williamson, and with Cambridge too if I'm honest. DS, by the way, has handled it all very well outwardly, in a 17 year old not wanting to show vulnerability so shrugging it off kind of a way. But that works for him.

This morning, I feel brighter already. I think the anger has helped in a way. I'm also reminding myself that DS can and likely will thrive at the University he ends up at (likely Bristol) and Oxbridge do not have the monopoly on stimulating, challenging and enriching University experiences.

DS is in the lucky position of having all 4 other offers in though, and I can imagine it's much harder if you are still waiting to hear. Durham gang you have my sympathies.

@OnTheBenchOfDoom the only problem with that strategy is with Universities where you aren't guaranteed accommodation unless they are your firm choice.

"1) why do you have to achieve greatness? Or put it upon your children ...
2) when did rejected become redirected?
3) Beetlesand ... "injustice" ... welcome to the world"

@Moominmammacat one day we will all be as wise as you, but for today can you just FRO and leave us to lick our wounds a little without being so righteous? TIA.

Oh @Tenpastseven you are making me laugh! Thank you!

@Moominmammacat

1) why do you have to achieve greatness? Or put it upon your children ... 2) when did rejected become redirected? 3) Beetlesand ... "injustice" ... welcome to the world

Oh yay - I'll bite too:

1. It's called drive and ambition, reaching for the stars. Not enough of that about actually. Too many children happy to stay in their boxes. If you never try, you never know.
2. We just try to be kind. In the same way when someone is dead, we say they have passed, it's just a bit more gentle, less brutal.
3. Lots of it about, doesn't mean you have to accept it.

@Tenpastseven and @BigWoollyJumpers
So glad you both bit in that one. I have been sitting on my hands since it was posted 🤣

So @Moominmammacat, I’ll not say what I was going to cos the others have pretty much done that for me. But I will reiterate the FRO.

@Jan069

Oh *@Tenpastseven* you are making me laugh! Thank you!

And me too!

It would be funny if our dc ended up becoming friends at Durham/Exeter/Bristol etc!

Something to lighten the mood - Arthur helps (hinders) DD out with lessons this morning.......

@Jan069 well done to your dd, some great offers. She's History right? When did she hear from Durham?

Great pic @BigWoollyJumpers they always manage to sit in the most inconvenient places don't they? Our Star thinks it's ok to walk across the keyboard when I'm in the middle of something!

Here she is

Hi everyone can I join in. DS was redirected in December from Oxford. Like us all I felt he would be a perfect candidate A GCSEs and 3 As predicted and a great passion for his subject. Unfortunately he didn't even get an interview. He applied for PPE and the TSA seems to either make or break you. College was pushing work at him and so we agreed with the grade debacle last year to focus on that rather than the TSA. In prior years he probably would have got an interview but this year it wasn't enough. I have to say that he has been fine with the decision. He was more annoyed at having failed at something rather than missing out on Oxford specifically.

30 years ago I had an offer for PPE and failed at the final hurdle on results day. To be honest I can't remember feeling that bad about it at the time, probably no social media helped, and moved onto Birmingham where I met DH. I do feel a bit guilty that I think DS would have made a far better candidate than me and more deserving of a place.

My sister also went to Oxford and when she visited me in Birmingham, she said she longed to be somewhere more relaxed and less pressured. Speaking to her recently, she feels she missed out on a 'normal' uni experience. Obviously her experience was a long time ago but I think everything works out for a reason and our children will thrive wherever they go.

@Tenpastseven hear hear!! Yep echo everything you've said.

@calculatorqueen good to have you and thanks for sharing that from your dsis- there are definitely some pluses to where we find ourselves even though it isn't what we would have chosen.

Thank you @calculatorqueen - it's funny how many of us have an Oxbridge story to tell. My sister also got offered C in 1984 and like you, failed to make the final hurdle. She still reflects on it now...

Bend DD got her Durham offer in November, still perplexed why she got such an early one....

Hi @calculatorqueen welcome. Very surprising that your clearly very talented ds didn't get an interview. Just goes to show how incredibly tough it has been this year.

Lots of Oxbridge redirect parents on here, myself included! I applied to Cambridge (Peterhouse) for Natural Sciences in the early 90s. I really wasn't Oxbridge material but just had a go. Got an interview (but I think they interviewed everyone then so no great achievement) and I remember feeling completely out of my depth in the interview. I really couldn't think outside the box at all. I ended up at UCL where I had a fantastic time.

Interesting what you say about your sister. My oldest dd think her Oxford redirected sister will have a better uni experience elsewhere.

Does anyone know the reason for the very short terms at Oxbridge? I imagine it's some historical reason or tradition.

Well said @Tenpastseven

DD has 3 offers (inc. her favourite UCL) but still waiting on St Andrews.

I made a joke yesterday about Oxbridge... didn't go down well... still raw after all

You are very kind. He’s only got Bath so far, waiting on St A’s, Edinburgh, Durham (but not keen for some reason). St As would be his favourite, his dad and I met there actually, I did history but DT1 wants to study MML.
I can’t tell you how glad I am to find you all and your words of wisdom today. The irony is that I declined an offer for Girton in 1992 to go to St As! It’s karma paying me back...what a shitty time to be a young person

Just catching up with msgs, been at work today which is a welcome distraction, being on this thread has made me feel much better and more positive towards Durham, dd feeling much better too, thanks @chocpc x

Nice to see some more faces

Lol @ tenpast. I typed out a response and then deleted.
Actually in response to the bit directed at me) .. and tbf , (to give them the benefit of the doubt) I think the poster got the wrong end of the stick. I wasn’t referring to me .I ..I was referring to a 17yo who is feeling the sting of injustice ( particularly for her friend tbh.. she’s just disappointed herself) and probably for the first time in a big way. It’s a learning curve certainly.