Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - and the fledgling freshers are off!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread

I think she's panicking a bit having seen her timetable. Full days on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Wednesday everyone has a free afternoon when they play sport or do their hobby! Thursday a bit more relaxed so some free time to work! I think she's suddenly realised that it isn't going ti be a doss!!

Sorry to hear some of the Freshers are finding it difficult.

Do remember something my DD said to me - that they phone to unload their worries/frustration, etc which leaves parents feeling awful, but the kids feel a lot better having shared.

Very wise words from your DD @bigTillyMint.

Yes, I guess some will have courses that are much more full-on than their A Level ones which will mean more evening/weekend studying than others may have to do.

Sorry DD rather than DS @Trewser

@TailsoftheManyPaws I hope you are OK. Dreadful timing.

Sorry to hear people are struggling. .

I heard from another friend that her DS found it really hard to connect to WiFi and they ended up paying an extra £30 a month to get better connection, that seems crazy when you think how high the rents are in Halls.

My DS doesn't go until Friday (see you there Mine ) but he has looked through all the fresher's activities and made notes about some of the 'small and friendly' activities (often with free lunch!) so hopefully that is a good way to meet people rather than all the late night parties. He does have a sport he loves so hopes to get involved with that pretty quickly. And, to my amazement, he's already lined up an interview for a part time job .

I'm really surprised at the uneven m-f split in accommodation. My dd was in a flat of 6, 3 of each and I assumed this was the norm, even though they were all en-suite. When I was at uni all flats were single sex, shared bathroom. I hadn't even considered that ds might end up being a solitary male. He would probably not be too bothered but would be unlikely to find buddies to go out with.

Wouldn't worry too much about splits in flats - you're just as likely to find friends etc in your classes, or in societies etc. There are thousands of students vs the 6 in your flat.

From experience a mixed sex flat is good - while I might not be completely comfortable with being the only male in a flat I would also have hated a male only one (And can imagine the kitchen would be a pig sty).

World no car day on Sunday - how are some of you going to manage dropping off? :P

Apparently dd got it wrong and there is an even boy girl split in the flat!

We are a 'world no car day' every day of the year @MrKlaw . However, this is a very rare occasion when I wish we weren't! Am getting rather anxious about the piles of kit on DS's floor - and we've bought no fripperies! I suspect there may need to be a 'reserve' suitcase full of stuff that has to go up at a later date. Have told DS he will have to wear his walking boots (which he will need for geography field trips) to travel in. Not sure the big winter coat will make it to the final edit either! Hmmm.

Sorry to hear about the tough times for some offspring. Best thing I think is try and keep them there and encourage baby steps. Depending on where they are getting out and looking round the city may help them feel orientated. Discuss coming home in three or four weeks if they want to but for now it's best to stick it out. Homesickness manifests in many ways and not liking the course or the flat is one of them.

And yes Cheese, the supermarket is the worst place for missing them.

I always leave dds room door open btw. Then my head knows she's not in there.

I think it can take a few weeks or more for some of them - sometimes the quieter ones - to find friends, feet, and so on. So the message at this stage (to dparents and dstudents!) is don't panic if you're not enjoying it yet. But it can be hard to think of your dc in that position!

It's difficult for them - the impression people get is that at university everyone immediately makes wonderful friends and has a great time in the first week, whereas if you think about it that's not usually how friends are made at work and in life - it's a gradual process.

I agree encourage club/society joining, including things they've never done at home - there are sometimes sports clubs for beginners, which might be promising? Everyone learning something new together can be quite a good way of socialising.

NewModelArmyMayhem18

If it does all have to go up at once there there is a company that will deliver uni stuff for you, I got an add for it last week.on my phone. Thought it was a genius idea.

I started freshers this week, we are all graduates on my course and have been having Facebook chats about the information we are receiving and we are all also a bit confused by the number of different systems and log ons and passwords. We're muddling through but honestly, the information is so piece meal it's annoying!
I have a massive list of things I'm waiting on as they have mentioned in passing that you get it later (via another portal). Hopefully will get it all sorted within a few weeks!

Oh and I did find it funny as a mature student, how many freshers came up to me on campus to ask where something was.
Luckily I knew. Mostly as I can read the map they were holding.

Re the male/female split in flats, I guess at some/?many univs there isn't a 50/50 male female split so there can't be in accommodation either - though that doesn't explain the 1:5 ratios in some flats!

Weekends can be surprisingly quiet and 'empty feeling' at university, particularly if it's one where a lot of students go home. I'm converted to the idea that for some students going home at weekends is a good transition from living at home - it's true that it isn't the 'classic style' university experience where you get totally immersed and really have 'left home' - but that may not be for everyone anyway. So that may be something to consider if a dc is really miserable. But that doesn't really work if you're 600 miles away!

Thanks @MrsPellegrinoPetrichor think I have the details of that company saved somewhere, so will dig them out.

When I was a student, we sometimes used to go to see school friends at other universities of a weekend. A change of scene but also reconnecting with people with whom one had long-standing relationships. Not quite the same as going home and seeing family but possibly a compromise and something positive to look forward to? And/or a sibling visiting (providing they are old enough to stay over!).

For any of the DC feeling a bit low, do they have any school friends/acquaintances at the same university with whom they could touch base at this early stage? Even if not best bosom buddies, it might be positive to see a familiar face or two?

Ds has a friend going to visit for a week once Freshers week is over,they've had it planned for ages.

Must be hard hearing from children who are struggling a bit initially,it's such a big thing and takes a lot of guts to even go imo.

This might sound daft but I've been so busy helping dd get ready and being excited and proud for her new journey that I hadn't really thought about afterwards. It's only just really hit me that if all goes to plan she will never live with me, or even near me, again. She plans to live in London after university and I'm near Cardiff so it'll just be a few visits a year from now on. Sorry to be a downer but I'm suddenly finding it hard this morning and I know people here will get it. I do still have dd2 here, who's about to turn 16, but she's a typical teenager who spends most of her time in her room. Dd1 has been great company the last few years and I'm going to be quite lonely without her!

With regards to flat ratios, dd has made contact with five of seven in her flat and so far they're all female. Four of them are doing similar courses too as Chichester is pretty performing arts heavy so hopefully they'll get along pretty well

Goodness, thank you all for the sympathy about the cat, in amongst everyone else’s major life changes! I’m ok (sniff), but what typical feline timing.

I do feel for all those students and parents going through the milk at the moment. DS is fine so far, but his sibling had a very rough start a couple of years ago and restarted the year. Keep reassuring them that it takes time, but also that there are always other options and never a need to despair.

I have done a bit of digging on FB and everyone who has replied to my post ahs a female heavy split in their accommodation so it does look like there is a female heavy intake.

@InterdimensionalHoleOfPancakes Completely sympathise - am finding it difficult to get used to idea of separation - it has been just me and DD for so long and she is feeling that too, though I know/hope she will enjoy her new freedom. I guess we will still have a close bond though and enjoy the times when we get to see each other again! Onwards and upwards!

I'm sure I've read somewhere @Piggywaspushed that there are more girls in higher education than boys. Also, maybe boys are more likely to live out of halls, at home or potentially even sofa surf?