Is anyone else dreading their child going to university?

[MothOnMyComputer]

I'm sobbing away in private, all the time, whilst pretending to be happy. How did that happen so quickly?

Thanks loaf I’m on holiday now and finally relaxing. Wasn’t a good idea to come away 2 days after results but had no idea it would be so stressful .

While in many ways I can't wait for DD to go to university I don't actually know how I will feel on the day. Worried and apprehensive I expect.

I can't wait!
Had you thought about it before? Planned and prepared for how you might feel?

Moth it's all sinking in now and I'm very tearful too.

I've been so focused on DD getting in to her uni place and her getting a good result that I have just not even thought about any of this until now.

I've been crying every day since Thursday, partly due to the build up of stress but now also the worry about her leaving.

As DD has had a gap year and spent quite a bit of time away visiting boyfriend/friends at university and travelling I am getting more and more used to not seeing her.

I’ve been lurking but wanted to drop in to say what a lot of helpful advice there is here. We’re a year behind and I’ve had a glimpse of what’s to come as DS has been away studying all summer (5 weeks down, 1 to go ...) and I’ve found it extremely tough. His programme is intense and often he only responds to WhatsApps in the night, even of his beloved cats. Food photos have provoked some response too - he’s fully catered and is now yearning for home cooking! Reassuring to me is that he’s rung me straight away if he’s had a problem, and also with good news. I’m holding onto the fact that he’s wanting to share at least some things with me ❤️
The experience has made me think hard about how best to stay in touch with him next year without seeming ‘needy’ and I love
@Mentounasc’s advice to create something that binds but doesn’t burden. I also sew, and I’m going to move my kit into his room, great idea!

I am concerned how dd will fend for herself, although not too worried, i do keep nagging her about learning to cook, not just scrambled eggs and mushrooms
and i am concerned for her money, since she hasnt saved any

EleanorReally

Ds can't cook either and has zero interest in learning ,I'm really hoping he'll rise to the challenge with the help of YouTube and Google!

Ds won't have any spare money, we'll pay his rent and he will have his maintenance loan which actually should be fine.

My heart sang. It's fantastic to have him home, he's liking it (meals laid on, washing done, the odd lift) but the fact he'd rather be at uni makes me proud.

The day that I dropped DS1 off, he got so into getting to know his new flatmates irl (they had already been chatting on FB for a while) that he 'forgot' that as I was staying just off-campus overnight, we had arranged to meet up again later. So that was it, a very rushed not-really-goodbye at the end of my allotted 15 minutes parking time at his accommodation. I might have wished for a little more consideration on his part, but I coped with the disappointment. It would have been far worse to have him say, 'This is awful, I can't relate to these people, I don't want to stay here...'.

DD goes off to the same university in 5 weeks' time. She actually asked if we would be taking her out for a meal in the evening - I was the one who suggested that the Guild might have events planned that she might want to go to instead. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

Absolutely @MarchingFrogs. Better they’re happy than not. No matter what our feelings of loss I’m sure we’d all want this. I was always dreadfully homesick as a kid and it hit me in my 2nd year of uni too. I wouldn’t want that for anyone.

eleanor scramble eggs, believe me, is a step up from what my DS can do, which involves opening a bag of crisps and ramming some ham in a roll and he never bloody seals the ham afterwards.

Another thing that is important to us is that OH and I are older parents. OH has had some serious (life threatening) health issues so it is of the utmost importance that DD learns to fend for herself sooner rather than later. We have no local family and she has no siblings so she absolutely has to be independent.

Ds can make scrambled eggs, poached eggs and boiled eggs.

My aim is to get him to make curry by the time he goes.

DS can make:
lentils
toast & scrambled egg
Rice (but nothing that goes with it)
Potatoes
Roast chicken pieces

🧐 can’t think of anything else.

I'm very proud of my DS and very excited for him.

Although I will miss him terribly, he has already kindly (but firmly) told me to prepare myself for dropping him off, he does not want any tears from me!