Is anyone else dreading their child going to university?

[MothOnMyComputer]

I'm sobbing away in private, all the time, whilst pretending to be happy. How did that happen so quickly?

Yes. I'm a single parent and hate the thought of being alone. She's just come back from 2 weeks in USA with her dad and I hated it. I know that sounds all about me but I'll miss her :(

I have both my babies going off to uni (twins) - I am not dreading it as such but every now and then I get a bit overwhelmed by all the changes.

I am also having to leave the former family home following an extremely acrimonious divorce. I have just about managed to keep it altogether to get to this point.

I will be going to Wales - they are going to different places. When they come back they will not be coming back here which saddens me - it’s been their home since they were 3. Neither of them have yet been to Wales. I’m trying not to pack the house up until after they’ve gone but I need to as there is so much.

I worry about them financially and emotionally - but I always do! On the other hand I am so proud of all they have achieved in the last four years despite having their world turned upside down. I have been through some major health issues as well.

Despite all this I can see that this has had some positive impact too - they’ve got used to fending for themselves where many of their friends still heavily rely on parental input.

Can anyone give me some hints on what they need to take with them?

Ah green those a big challenges for you. You’ve done well to keep it together.
I googled a general uni list but DD says the uni will provide a list once they get accepted. My DD will be in catered halls Hope so don’t have to think of kitchen stuff etc. Things o hadn’t thought of were laundry bag/ basket and clothes horse.
Good luck.

Thanks Benji - that’s good I don’t have to think about this for another week then - kids are not they are both doing last minute plans for holidays - i know my Dd has a laundry bag - she came home with one about four months ago 😂

Green This should help you what they need to take:
Uni checklist

I am dreading mine going mainly because he is immature and lacks independence. Also no intrinsic motivation. It's a concern.

DH's attempts to teach him how to put a plate in a dishwasher did not go well...

I also don't think he will look after himself physically or eat properly and the clock is ticking.

Let's hope it'll all be the making of him.

Yes that too Loaf and I just hope all goes to plan on 15th as DD is not that keen on her back-up

Neither is ds.

Things I bought from IKEA-

Baking tray X2
Mug,plate,bowl,glasses X3
Tea towels
Kitchen sponges
Saucepans- not with plastic handles in case they have gas and melt them!
Frying pan
Chopping board
Scissors
Knives
Collander
Cafetiere
Couple of plastic containers
Grater
Potato peeler
Wooden spoons
Egg cups
Laundry bag
Clothes airer
Pillows - not bought duvet yet until we know which accomodation he gets allocated as could be double bed.

Came to about £80 which I thought was really reasonable so worth a trip if you are near an IKEA.

** I will also get a waste paper basket ( NOT a wide one so it can double as a sick bucket, blerk!) and a cork pin board or wall planner .

** doorstop,first aid kit,nail clippers.

I'm also buying one of those fire proof document wallets to keep passport etc in.

Yes I;ve heard a doorstop is handy as uni doors are hefty fire doors so if they prop it open they can be sociable -if they want.

I've

That sounds really hard Green, hope the move to wales goes well. I’ve also got twins but only one going to uni.

They’re seriously going to miss each other, much more than they realise I think!

www.bostonglobe.com/metro/globelocal/2018/08/24/was-sun-and-they-were-planets/0F0IDOwhEszKLj7rqUZOuN/story.html

This is my favourite article about kids going to college. My third one leaves at the end of August so we will be alone at last and while I am not really sad - am excited for her - I know I will really miss her. More than that I do feel it is the end of a particular very important part of my life - the active parent who is needed on a daily basis. It felt like that would go on forever and now it is over. I'm glad in some ways - looking forward to doing stuff with dh again and travelling on our own but it is also the end of something. I think the writer of the article captures it well - it is not the end of the world but it is not nothing either.

Thanks for the list of items and links - that article makes me feel sad pallisers - I look at it as some ‘me’ time - time to get my head sorted after some difficult years - there’s lots I want to do - haven’t had the head space or motivation - depression needs to be back under control -
Sandy - I think my two will miss each other more than they think too -

Great article pallisers. At least Roger Williams was close for anyone in the Boston area.

FaceTime saved us. Video chat is so much better than a phone call. I could see the look on DS's face and know he was actually okay. We did it once a week, on the weekend. Even the cats got on the call.

We still have one at home, but she'll be starting uni next fall. That's going to be hard.

I’m going to not panic too much about getting everything- there are shops in major cities and towns

pallisers that made me shed a little (hidden)?tear. It hits the nail on the head beautifully. Thanks.

I'm not sad, but I am nervous for her and I know I will miss her and worry about her

That sums me up DrMadelineMaxwell
DD has CFS and I will worry that she won’t be able to stay awake during lectures

I am dreading mine going mainly because he is immature and lacks independence.

Those are perfectly rational and valid reasons Piggy

I’m going to not panic too much about getting everything- there are shops in major cities and towns

Amazon. Son has his own student rate Amazon Prime account. He can get almost anything next day. He hardly ever goes to the shops.

Did got Amazon prime with his student account, he rarely goes shopping either.

The other brilliant thing with amazon is that I can order little surprises and treats for him on my account and have them shipped to him at uni.

I also send him homemade baked goods by post. That makes him very popular in his dormitory.

Oh yeah DD is Amazon’s biggest customer I think , in addition to ASOS. I just mean for paracetamol, plasters etc. I know of a mum that has been stockpiling such items for months. For a minute it made me panic I wasn’t doing enough....until I came to my senses.

I guess the student services have had to take on extra staff to handle the increase in online shopping parcels.