It takes time. It took me most of the first term to fully settle and find my tribe. Fast forward a few months and I’m the college agony aunt (JCR Welfare Officer) with a bag of condoms slung over my door, armed with tea and sympathy.
A few things to note: first off, there will be lots of work to get through, so there is always that bit of refuge when you’re feeling a bit low. Secondly, the entertainment committee in your college will work really hard to make sure your calendar is packed out in the first few weeks with things to do, and not all of them will involve drinking (if they know what they’re doing.)
My one piece of advice is to wait a few weeks before marrying your college spouse. The temptation is to couple up quickly, but then you can end up with someone that a term later you’ve barely spoken to, and either you make for an awkward family in your second year, or you both do some conscious uncoupling and find someone suitable later. Worst case, you find yourself a single parent as your spouse has dropped out before second year.
This applies more generally - the people you spend a lot of time with in Freshers Week are invariably not the people who become your closest friends.
Do not worry that everyone is having the best time and seems to know all the cool 2nd and 3rd years, and you know no one in your staircase. Everyone is putting on a front, and getting through it is as best they can. Do join some college societies, do go to JCR meetings, and don’t believe that Pot Noodles are a sustaining form of nourishment for all nighters. And do call your parents, they miss you!