Oxbridge Freshers 2018

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

old thread

A chat/support thread for parents of undergrads who have entered the quite frankly slightly odd world of Oxbridge.

Apparently we are parents to undergrads now

[chitchattery]

riverbank - I agree with many of the other posts. Being put on a table with other subjects can be a real positive. I wasn’t friends with my subject group - we got on ok but no real spark. I met one engineer then some of his course friends, one economist and met all of his (he was very sociable!). Don’t let her start to feel put upon or she will see negatives everywhere. My DD’s best friend at Cam at the moment is from a polish family living in Doncaster and whose dad is a builder. It can be for everyone. Stick with it.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Well.. it sounds as though on this occasion being on a table with people from a different subject didn't work out, which is a shame. There's a certain amount of luck involved...

DDs two besties are from different subjects to her own, in the same college - I've no idea how they met up - I think DD happened upon one of them wobbly about riding a bike on the roads and gave her a lesson and told her the safest route.

And then there's a bunch of guys from her subject from a different college - but these friendships took a while to develop.

[Hubbleisback]

BakeandyamI know exactly how you feel but I am told it will get better. DS says he is 'reasonably' happy whatever that means.

[ofteninaspin]

The "busyness" of freshers will suit some better than others. My DD thrives on being busy and having a plan for each day. Having said that, like OYBBK's DD, my DD did appreciate retreating to a quiet staircase at the end of the day.
Her room (and both her neighbour's rooms) are still too warm but the upside is that they leave their doors open as much as possible to create a draught. This has led to tentative hellos, discussion about the tropical heat and communal tea making.
As others have said, it is early days and I am sure all freshers (and their parents!) experience a roller coaster of emotion as their DDs/DDs deal with so much newness.

[Bakeandyarn]

Thanks hubble he’s made some friends and joined some clubs. He’s exchanged mobile numbers and sounds much more positive. Also fewer messages on my phone so that’s good. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling like this, that’s why this thread is so helpful.

[Hubbleisback]

A lot quieter on here tonight. Hopefully means happier students and happier parents!

[Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple]

One of the big issues for dd is that she is lucky enough to have been balloted a lovely room, but in consequence it’s in a wing largely populated by 2nd years so isn’t bumping into other freshers. She isn’t brave enough to directly message another person to ask if they are going to dinner etc . I have suggested that she and all the other girls she has met so far that seem to get on and are probably feeling exactly the same , make a WhatsApp group specifically for meet up requests. So one person can say “ is anyone going to dinner, breakfast, bar etc etc” and any other person can answer or not. That way no one feels they are being rude for not going and no one feels they are obliging anyone else to do anything.
Might as well use technology for good !

[voilets]

Nice idea nearlyold
Exactly hubble. Smiley face here.

[whiteroseredrose]

I think I'm the only person who hasn't heard from their DC. Dropped him off Tuesday noon and he went for lunch with his new parents. Spoke briefly Weds am when he said he'd been clubbing. Apparently people seem nice but everyone is from the South. That's it. I've had no contact since. Not sure if that it good news or bad!

I did extract a promise for a chat every Sunday at some point so I may have to wait till then. ☹️

[goodbyestranger]

I'd say good.

[whiteroseredrose]

Hopefully!

[OhTheRoses]

Just got my city centre bus lane fines. £120, reduced to £60 for fast payment. Probably not best sent to College in return for shocking directions!

[ErrolTheDragon]

Whoops, bad luck.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

oh no!!

[HesMyLobster]

Ouch! Bad luck Roses, that sucks.

[PandaG]

Oh no Roses! I'm glad DH was driving, he knows Cambridge well, but by bike or on foot. Driving in Cambridge very different to cycling.
DS had his first experience of cycling in Cambridge a couple of days ago, he really needs a bell on his bike (he forgot to swap one from his decent bike to the old one he has taken with him) as he couldn't believe the number of pedestrians who just stepped out without looking.

[Hubbleisback]

DS extremely shattered - slurred speech and blood-shot eyes.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Bike bell definitely essential, but Cambridge isn't short of bike shops. It is surprising that in a town with so many cyclists pedestrians aren't all more careful. I've never seen anywhere with so many bike-baby trailers, bikes are a common mode of transport for non-students.

[tstgug]

I’m told that everyone seems to be from the south. I’m also told that seemingly normal, young tutors have terribly affected accents.

[HingleMcCringleberry]

Hubbleisback - this is why you don't facetime your parents! Maybe it's Freshers Flu.

tstgug - I suppose in terms of proportionality, wikipedia says from the 2011 census Southern population is 30m, Midland population is 10m, and Northern Population is 15m. So I guess a lot of people will be from the south. Is your DC finding it oppressive? Most of the people I know from the south aren't especially proud about it, so it's a shame if people at uni are turning it into a thing.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Even given the population spread, the North is underrepresented at Oxbridge. Some, though not all, of this effect may be because many bright northern student opt for excellent unis such as Edinburgh, Manchester, Durham, St Andrews.

Most of the people I know from the south aren't especially proud about it, so it's a shame if people at uni are turning it into a thing.

I'd guess it's simply judging by accent and 'where do you come from', not a 'thing'.

DD was surprised that her new southern friends could tell she was from the north - Lancastrian born and raised but with accent largely acquired from DH and me, according to the ears of her friends up here. She certainly hasn't mentioned any issue with regionalism ... they'll probably end up knowing people (directly or ethnically) from all over the globe.

[Witchend]

DD was surprised that her new southern friends could tell she was from the north - Lancastrian born and raised but with accent largely acquired from DH and me,
I was the same. Start of every term I got "you're so northern" and when I went home "you sound so posh".
Was very irritating.

[Hubbleisback]

For a global university this on the surface seems a weird discussion to have. DS is hybrid N/S so wouldn't notice accents particularly. Everyone had interviews and won a place so who cares?

[whiteroseredrose]

DS said that there seem to be a lot of people from Switzerland and the USA!

[Toddlerteaplease]

My friend is at Cambridge. He was explaining the house parent system and the earning points to get a better room thing. Bonkers. But I love it!