It's real now - leaving home to go to uni (part 3)

[user9512736123]

Here you go @Lucysky2017

Hallelujah! 20 hours before leaving DS has decided he'd better make a start and "sort out some stuff". Finally. Lucky I have a stash of empty boxes isn't it? He said he doesn't need any help...so I feel a bit redundant. . Better check the road atlas, not sure I can rely on his map reading in the morning! Good luck with the big move everyone.

Yep

Good luck to everyone for the weekend

Very late to find this thread...

DS1 has been at university for 2 weeks now and holy crap - what an exhausting and emotional 2 weeks. He was struck with crippling and unexpected homesickness (he had been really looking forward to going) and that brought on insomnia, severe anxiety and full blown panic attacks, that basically made him lose all confidence in his original course selection and ability to handle the workload. He thankfully got great support, and things already seem to be improving hugely, but in an attempt to stop him ditching uni entirely (he's on a full academic scholarship - no tuition fees - opportunity of a lifetime!) we encouraged him to switch to a broader and less academically intense course.

Now that he's feeling better he's questioning the swapping and is describing a lot of his lectures as far too easy, but if he hadn't swapped, he was 100% heading for a breakdown and refusal to stay at the university at all.

Hopefully he can either accept his new path or work out some way to treat this year as an adjustment period and go back to something closer to his original plan next year. That would mean having to pay for his final year as he'd be taking a year longer to get his degree than his scholarship covers, but he's only 17, so it wouldn't even be noticed that he's done an extra year once he graduates.

Well, we are all packed.
I've just finished ironing his clothes that he suddenly found in his drawers after complaining nothing comes back from the wash! What fool puts clean clothes in a bedroom drawer and not a floordrobe?! Haha
I think we're done now just ready to load car in morning, if it fits. Just waiting for the girlfriends of DS 1 & 2 to come then we're ordering Chinese!

Lazydog that's what I'm worried about.

Is it too late for him to transfer back to the original course?

But as you say, an extra year won't do any harm. Good for him sticking to it through the anxiety.

lazydog your poor DS, what a horribly worrying time for you. It sounds like you've handled it very well, and that treating this year as an adjustment year may be a good option.

We're having takeaway too.

On the train home and just texted him to remind him to pack coat hangers . I've told the story on here before of arriving at my uni halls to find no hangers in the wardrobe and insisting my parents took me home 200 miles to get some - they refused!

Lazydog glad he is settling down. It sounds tough.

lazydog

Thats what worries me about my boy, i have made him promise faithfully not to struggle by himself and get help if he needs it

it worries me as well.
I'm feeling awful tonight, it's the last night at home and the absent 'parent' has decided to put in an appearance and they are out for a meal, they've gone with my blessing of course but FFS...they have done none of the parenting for the last 18 years as they left when I was pregnant and now they have the nerve to turn up and do this. I'm beyond pissed off.

They don't know this of course, I'm not ruining it for anybody else.

lazydog, I hope that your DS carries on feeling better.

user

I would be furious

thank you Rufus

that pretty much sums up how I feel.

How are things with you now? Did your DCs take the sad news as well as can be expected?

Rufus - Thats what worries me about my boy, i have made him promise faithfully not to struggle by himself and get help if he needs it

I can't believe it had never even entered my head to say that to my ds, but so thankful that he talked, rather than kept it to himself.

I guess I'd been blinkered by how much he seemed to be looking forward to going, and rose tinted specs about how much I loved university back in the olden days but I think it was just such a shock to his system, moving from a tiny rural high school, and always having us around, and also probably partly to do with having a large bedroom here, to basically moving into a claustrophobic cupboard of a bedroom in his residence.

lazy

I agree, ds1 is really excited he cant even sit down at the moment

He was in therapy from January and its really helped but i did say to him today that any problems he can contact his therapist and we will pay for the appointments

He sounds similar to your boy

I hope you are both ok moving forward

user

Yes thank you

He did have a little cry...the only one that did

But he appreciates how much time, energy and love he had from her. More than any other grandchild

In the family obviously

Not the world...though i think it was close

Lazy- which university has he gone to? I am also in Canada (ON) and my daughter started in Victoria BC nearly 2 weeks ago. It's hard to help them when the system is so different to what we went through.

lost - I'd rather not say exactly where, but only because I just re-read my posts and think I got a bit carried away with actually being able to talk about this nightmare last couple of weeks, and I've put far too much identifying info in already. Ds would probably freak if he knew - ooops! But suffice to say he's nowhere near as far from home as your dd, and so is able to come home for weekend visits whenever he wants, which is good. How's your dd finding it? I love Victoria - beautiful city/setting.

Good Luck to all going this weekend and that's for the Mums and Dads too! XX

BTM, DS got one of those big boxes from Nationwide, some nice treats in there for them. I think the big rubber thingy is a door stop/wedge.

Lol at the melon baller.

Can someone remind me where to get a cheap clothes airer? I saw this upthread somewhere. I assumed DS would just shove everything in the drier but he assures me that when travelling he read all the care labels on his clothes and didn't tumble dry his t-shirts (which have already been tumble dried by me 100 times).

DS is busy packing....NOT! Why would you waste time packing when you could be going to goodbye parties with people who are going to the same uni as you

Good luck from here as well.
I've just been informed that they don't want to go! Is this the academic equivalent of last minute wedding nerves?

I think it's natural to be apprehensive user; it's just hard to tell if they're really feeling nervous or have had a change of heart...

Probably, user. I remember having a wobble when I was packing my trunk (proper big metal one that had seen big bro through med school) - DM calmly told me I didn't have to go, which took the pressure off.