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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

It's real now - leaving home to go to uni (part 3)

999 replies

user9512736123 · 18/08/2017 10:45

Here you go @Lucysky2017

OP posts:
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8
Oldie2017 · 04/09/2017 09:03

One of mine goes tomorrow to Amsterdam for a short break so only has today to do a university registration thing which opens today 4th I think or best to get it done today anyway.

Oldie2017 · 04/09/2017 09:04

Stop - that seems to have gone well. That's a lot of driving! (One reason my 2 (and their older sister) picked Bristol over Durham - it was a very very very hard choice. On the other hand their sister never came home except in holidays so the distance does not really matter once you are up there (or down there).

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 09:55

That sounds awesome stop

Ds1 stagger their arrivals from 9am on the Saturday til 6pm on the sunday

What worries me is that he moves in at 9am .what if no one else comes until 6pm the next day. He will be all alone

We are taking him up and we have said that we will take him to lunch...but if there are more people there or he sees a freind or they set something up then we will shove off

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 09:59

Dh said to ds1

Well if you are alone and you feel you are being watched....

Its probably your mum

If you think someone is in your room watching you sleep....

Its probably your mum

If you are walking round campus and you think you are being followed ..

Its probably your mum

My dad suggested he rings dh to find out where i am before ringing the police

I wouldn't mind ....i was joking when i said i would get a job there, dh has arranged to lecture there twice a year!!!

BestIsWest · 04/09/2017 10:39

DS is going to Uni in the city in which I work - it's 50 miles away and I'm changing jobs to work closer to home soon but I keep having mini fantasies about meeting him for coffee or taking him for lunch.

My DD also lives and works there so she'll be on hand if he needs anyone.

AtiaoftheJulii · 04/09/2017 10:45

dh has arranged to lecture there twice a year!!! lol!

Dd goes to the university dh works for. No strings to be pulled or discounts though sadly! Does mean they meet up for a drink every now and again, and he's played delivery boy a couple of times with things she's left at home.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 12:09

Oh thats nice julii

Dh quite often drives past or through Winchester and has clients there so its perfect for him to pick up stuff and pop in for a cup of tea

Previously arranged obviously

Though i do have visions of dh walking through the campus saying 'hello!!! Has anyone seen my son...about yea high?'

Motheroffourdragons · 04/09/2017 12:18

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 12:25

Oh goodness mother Thanks

Dh said that the other day

In theory child three will go in 4 years Sad

Having said that i dont think child two or three plan to go to uni and even if they do child one will be back home Grin

Motheroffourdragons · 04/09/2017 12:31

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Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 12:35

Oh goodness Shock

Have some wine as well Wine

And cake Cake

Motheroffourdragons · 04/09/2017 12:41

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

Oldie2017 · 04/09/2017 12:41

I love my own com,pany. It is just my personality (and obviously I also love the children very much) and never to date in my whole life have I got to live alone. In a couple weeks I will achieve it and unlike most people I am looking forward to it I'm afraid but I know the twins will be back for holidays and some weekends and probably for 2 or 3 years after graduation as their older 3 siblings did so it will probably be in 5 or 6 years' time before I am really alone here.

tobee · 04/09/2017 12:43

When I was at my first year at university "someone I know" was working in the same city. They were taking early retirement made redundant against their wishes so took me for quite a few expense account lunches. It was fun while it lasted!

BehindTheBlueDoor · 04/09/2017 13:16

Eldest DS leaves on 30 Sept for move in on 1 Oct. Still waiting for info on an address and who he will live with but he knows he has the accommodation he wanted. We're driving him up and staying locally(ish) the night before he moves in and then home on the Sunday as it's 400+ miles round trip. Kitting him out is nearly done, he has to decide on his clothes now although it's basically his whole civvie wardrobe as he wore uniform all through VIth form.
Socially and academically he'll be fine but I'm still worried about him organising study, food and housekeeping stuff, but then I'm an organiser and a worrier and he will be fine. Growing up is what it's all about.
DS2 is still trying on a daily basis to get him to stay as he hates the idea of being the focus at home. I'm loving to opportunity to wind DS2 up even further.
The family dynamic will be odd for a while but I'm hoping we'll adjust quickly and it won't be long before Christmas/Easter/summer holidays. When DS2 goes I will be in tinier pieces though for all sorts of complicated reasons, but that's another story for an MN post another year.
Thinking of you all and thanking you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, it really helps buoy me up.

tobee · 04/09/2017 13:44

This might sound surprising, but my experience with dd at university, it's also quite weird when they come home again. Going back to four of us after getting used to three of us, the constant changing dynamic. You get used to them back, and they're off again. It's never really the same again.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 14:14

No that doesn't surprise me tobee

A few friends have said they sent their baby to uni and what returned for the holidays was a man/woman Grin

HSMMaCM · 04/09/2017 14:32

I am expecting DD to be quite different when she comes home. It'll be very strange.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/09/2017 15:05

Whats really funny is that apparently dd (15) is not going to miss him at all and can't wait for him to go

But...

Over the last week or so she can't leave him alone, she keeps grabbing him or pretending to hit him so he will grab her, putting her feet on him so he has to move her, play fighting

That is one child who is going to miss her brother Grin

Ds1 has always let me hug him, he is quite affectionate but i am petting him every chance i get

indulgentberries · 04/09/2017 15:22

Mine both seem very calm about it all but neither show their emotions. Of course I'm the same with my stiff upper lip, of course.....

HSMMaCM · 04/09/2017 15:34

I've told DD she has to give me enough hugs to last me until Christmas. She's not a very huggy person, but she's putting up with me Grin

BestIsWest · 04/09/2017 15:43

We're going to be just the two of us, I'm not sure how it will be.

Haffdonga · 04/09/2017 17:45

Never get hugs from mine either and zero displays of brotherly affection between my 2, but funnily whenever ds1 came home from uni both lads would be quite awkward for a little while with each other and then inevitably end up rolling on the floor in a wrestling match just like they used to when they were 7 and 9 instead of 17 and 19. That seems to translate as I've missed you mate in brother-tongue. Wink

Horsemad · 04/09/2017 17:47

Like a pair of lion cubs Haffdonga

My two are the same. Smile