EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 4

[madeinkent]

DD and her friends secured their house yesterday. There are 5 of them, and a new house came on, and they dashed over to see it, and then straight on to the Letting Agents to confirm they wanted to take it. As they were filling out the forms another group came in wanting the same property, and both groups' details were sent to the Landlord who confirmed they'd let it to DD and her friends. Small matter of immediate deposit of £430 plus agent's fee of £180 (per person). She's given our names and details as guarantors, and says it will just be for her room, not for the whole house! Presume we'll get something through the post soon and will need to check it carefully. She's in Catered Halls this year, which she has really been enjoying, but this should be much cheaper even though it still seems quite expensive.

That sounds about right for what DS was doing in the summer last year, he left it until late and then just slotted in with whoever, and it has worked very well for their household. I wasn't surprised they asked him for a retainer, just that he had to do it so early. The whole thing has been interesting to watch.

Aw, so sorry you have been through all that. I do hope the funeral goes well for you and that your DD gets given the required mark.
Will be thinking of you both tomorrow.

Thank you Milliways. DD3 doesn't seem to fazed by everything now.

It's lovely to hear how everyone is getting on - another one here whose DS wishes to change course. He now wants to change from Music to computer sciences, he feels he wants to know more about computers to help him more with writing music using computer, so if he gets a good enough grade they will let him change. He hopes to hear by July 10th.

The problem being, that he will have to start all over again at year 1, and they won't let him carry over any points from his past two years. The last year will be completely unfunded so he will need to get a job and save up hard. I'm very glad I persuaded him not to upgrade his room to a more expensive one in his house.

DD has now finished her 5th year of law and is starting to panic about getting a job already! I am suffering from a severe case of second-hand stress because of the pair of them.

Eternal students madeinkent. I am considering bank robbery myself.

Collected dd1 today. She was nicely packed up & ready to go. Only found one cup with mould - not too bad at all. Loves her course, loves her friends, loves the university. Result. Can't believe how fast this year has gone.

Me neither, the first one seemed so slow for both of them! DS came home last Friday for a long weekend - he is still here... I think he needs a rest from all that socialising hard work.

Hello everyone, I've not been on here in a while.
Well done to all those with results. DS gets his tomorrow and I'm taking the car loaded with empty boxes to bring him home on Friday .
He has a little work experience the following week.

Notsoskinnyminny I'd do the years from age 5 to 10 again like a shot well I'd do it all. I used to try and contemplate how wonderful they were in the way they tell you to appreciate those early years.

Milliways real job interview sounds like a scary prospect.

Oh Milliways , I wish DS had a 10 week placement at Canary Wharf !
He's doing a 90 minute a night relief cleaning job , and cash in hand bar work on a Saturday , and lots of flopping round

He seems to think we are made of money ( not true sadly )
He's had a letter now , so it's all official , he passed his first year ( phew )

MadeinKent changing course after 2 years ! Oh gosh , that is starting from scratch all over again ,

My house is a mess , there's no food in the house again , and the car is permanently out of petrol ( though he is collecting DD from her leavers ball at some unearthly hour , so it's not all bad ....

Well DD3 has discovered she got 40% in her exam not 35% so she has passed and has passed that module. There is one assignment she only got 25% in one assignment so she has to re do that one, This is one of the assignments that she was granted mitigating circumstances for so it's a deferral and not a referral which means it is counted as a first attempt and won't be capped which is good. It is due in on the 7th August. She is on holiday with us from the 7th to 18th July so I hope she manages to get it done.

Phew Mumeeee, that's good news.

DoILooklike aTourist - placements are usually after 2nd year, and DS went back to Uni a week or so before his friends after last summer just so he could concentrate on applications before the rush and before Uni got going again. Glad your DS passed his year, if he feels broke this summer tell him to research placements for next summer now. My DS is financially driven and had a job of some sorts since aged 15. Before that he sold sweets at school which funded his smartphone contract!

Will miss him when he goes at the weekend, but my food stocks have greatly diminished, he's like a locust :)

Great news mumeeee, hopefully she'll be able to blitz it before you go away so its not hanging over her fingers crossed she's not like DS who could've got a first in procrastination

made that's a huge decision to make after 2 years. If he decides the new course isn't the right one for him would he be able to go back to his current course?

Milliways DS wasn't still isn't motivated by money so never attempted to get a job. Even on £5 pocket money he'd have £4.50 left at the end of most weeks. DD's completely different and came home every other weekend and worked 20+ hours. She's now doing 40+ and picking up extra shifts when people don't turn in. She hates what she does but it funds her designer bag habit and she's 2/3 of it to go travelling between semesters.

DD gets fed in work and goes to the shops after her shift to pick up anything else she fancies so I'm saving a fortune. I just wish she'd tidy her bloody room, I'm expecting to see a line of knickers trooping down the landing to the washing basket because I don't think I've washed any since she got home (gross not jealous )

skinnyminny we have 2 big washing machines (we do B & B ) and I'm sure DS washed 3 weeks of washing in one go
Milliways I'm he's busy researching student placements for next year !
Are you near London , or does DS have ro rent ? We're in Wales , so he can't commute daily .... Looking at DVLA in Swansea ..

We are close enough to commute to central London but Canary Wharf is wrong side so he is staying in a friends Student House in Lomdon for the holidays as they are keeping same house next year and need to pay the rent.
He worked in London last year for less money but accommodation was provided. The local unis want £200+/week for a tiny room over the holidays so he was lucky to be able to use friends house.

Hi all again. I can't believe that DD3 will soon be going into her ,3rd and final year. It only seems like yesterday that we were dropping her off for a first year and worrying about how she would cope
She settled well and this year decided to stay in her university town for the Summer. She came on holiday with us and is coming back for a few days at the end of August but that's it. She had to re do an assignment but has now submitted it so just have to wait and see if she's passed this time.
She is going back into halls again as because of her learning difficulties has suited her well.
Anyway that's enough about DD3 how does everyone else feel about their DCs almost finishing uni ( well starting 3,rd year)

Anyone still around?

Yeah :) DD goes back mid September.

Yes still here .DS starts as a post grad at Keble Oxford next month following his recent graduation. Has secured a private flat so this could be moving out for good, although he has already mentioned coming "home" for Xmas.

Yes, back from holidays and really wishing they would clear off and leave me in peace!

DS has been accepted onto the new course, but has been told that it is the FIRST year that will be unfunded, not the last. Much panic, we had thought he would have time to save up for that last year, but have had to go to relatives for loans, cap in hand. Stressed, moi? I have just realised that he will have been at uni for five years when he leaves - DD has just finished her 5th year of law, and was allowed to have one year of non-law so chose business studies, as she wants to defend people who have been unfairly dismissed (she will never be rich!). She is now upset because she will have to travel to a new centre slightly further away, as will DS. She is also upset because they would have been graduating in the same year as each other, and now will not. I am trying to hide my relief, I had been worried in case I actually ended up with two unemployed DCS at the same time.

fussychic your DS sounds grown up. DD1 and DD2 have already moved out. They did it years ago although DD2 was diagnosed with anxiety and depression last year and has needed some support from us. DD3 has only had 2 weeks with us this summer although she is coming home for a few days in a fortnight's time. Mainly because she is coming with DH and I to see Michael MacIntyre. Glad she has made a life for herself in Bolton but it's been strange not having her home all summer.

I can't believe that she is going into her 3rd and final year.

Hello, yes my DS is going into his final year too, and as he is my youngest it will be the end of another era! Haven't seen much of him these hols though as he is now 7 weeks into his 10 week summer internship (extended job interview!) in the city and absolutely loving it.
He will have less than a week to get home, packed and back to Uni so will be a rush. He has a new house lined up, this time with friends from 1st year as a lot of friends from this year are about to start industry placements or years abroad.
His sister never returned home after Uni, went straight to a new job and flat, and if DS lands this job the same will happen again. A permanent empty nest?

I might be a permanent empty nester too. DD3 is our youngest and she doesn't want to come home when she finishes uni. Not sure if her plans will work out though seeing as she hasn't got any job lined up.

Hi everyone

It seems strange that some of you who were empty nesters at the same time as me now have DCs in their final year. As DD changed course and did a second "first" year, she is just going into second year despite this being her third year at uni. (Hope that makes sense!). Also as it's a Scottish degree, if she wants to do honours she has another 3 years to go. So like Made's DS may have been at uni for 5 years before she leaves.

She has a live in job fairly close by so we have seen her for off days over the summer which has been nice and she will be at home for 2 weeks before she goes back to uni.

Mumeeee, it's early days for DD3 to get a job, third year hasn't even started!

The majority of DDs course become freelance when they graduate so year two is really important as they start to network, create personal websites and find placements this year with expected experience starting at easter next year. As well as the normal study! They will be busy but she can't wait to go back now.

Jellicat sounds like you DD is doing well. I don't really think that DD should have a job but going by her track record of applying for jobs in the summer. I hope she does actually apply for the jobs she wants to do.

I'm glad someone will still be around, jelliclecat!

DS had all sorts of plans for this summer. One by one they all fell through, it has been very odd. However I have put him to work in the garden, which is large, and his help has been brilliant. Even so, I shall be quite pleased to be able to give my fridge door a rest. He wants to go back a bit early to see if he can find a part-time job, I am not dissuading him!

Waves to everyone

I'll still be around as DD is doing a language course and we're now into single figures before she goes abroad for a year I've had to go and buy another large case and she's still going to be a couple of kg over but hopefully not too much my poor credit card. The plan is that I'll go over with very little clothes for a holiday to help bring the excess baggage back.

She's been working and spending all summer so I've hardly seen her apart last year she came home every other weekend to work. I've had a good talk to her and reminded her that it may not live up to her expectations but she survived her horrendous first year so she'll be fine crossed fingers.