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Original poster

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 4

566 replies

madeinkent · 29/01/2015 13:15

DD and her friends secured their house yesterday. There are 5 of them, and a new house came on, and they dashed over to see it, and then straight on to the Letting Agents to confirm they wanted to take it. As they were filling out the forms another group came in wanting the same property, and both groups' details were sent to the Landlord who confirmed they'd let it to DD and her friends. Small matter of immediate deposit of £430 plus agent's fee of £180 (per person). She's given our names and details as guarantors, and says it will just be for her room, not for the whole house! Presume we'll get something through the post soon and will need to check it carefully. She's in Catered Halls this year, which she has really been enjoying, but this should be much cheaper even though it still seems quite expensive.

That sounds about right for what DS was doing in the summer last year, he left it until late and then just slotted in with whoever, and it has worked very well for their household. I wasn't surprised they asked him for a retainer, just that he had to do it so early. The whole thing has been interesting to watch.

OP posts:
fussychica · 04/04/2015 16:05

Yes I think so too but he is keen to have a flat as his girlfried from the US is hoping to join him for at least some of the time and I think its a bit late for getting something in hall, he can but try though.

Kez100 · 11/04/2015 16:08

Well folk, it's nearly time for the final term. What a short one it seems to be? could be four weeks for my DD. i don't know if that's because the more exam based courses have longer but include the exams or not.

she had a great time abroad and has worked hard on her next module over easter so she has less pressure going back.

I can hardly believe she will soon be in her own house!

mumeeee · 11/04/2015 17:06

DD3 has gone back to Uni already went on Thursday but her lectures don't start until next Tuesday. She only had 2 weeks off for Easter this year. I can't believe she is about to start her final term of her 2nd year. ( well actually the last part of this semester she has just had 2 semesters this year).She finishes at the beginning of June. Hope she passé her 2nd year, She is quite stressed at the moment with trying to get assignments finished which are due in by the end of next week, One is referral work for an assignment she just failed in the last semester a few of her friends had trouble with that one.

Doilooklikeatourist · 11/04/2015 17:21

DS hasn't been home for Easter yet !
His last assignment had to be handed in on Saturday April 4 th , then on Easter Monday he went on an organised trip to Spain .
Due back in the UK on Sunday , then he'll be home later in the week for a few days .
Back to uni for the exams , and then the long summer holiday he needs to find a job

Notsoskinnyminny · 12/04/2015 11:12

DD went back yesterday and lectures start tomorrow. She's had to move groups for one part of her course due to problems with a tutor and she's worried about how the new tutor will be with her so she's got an early meeting with the course leader.

She thinks she finishes the end of May and is still waiting for final details of her year abroad so she can book flights. She wants to go into halls a week earlier to get over the jetlag and shop before lectures start. She's planning to work all summer to boost her travelling/shopping kitty and her boss has said she can have her job back when she's home which means she'll blow every penny and then borrow from the Bank of Mum!

SecretSquirrels · 12/04/2015 11:19

Yes another one here with a fairly short final term.
DS has another week before he goes back and will have had 5 weeks at home. He did have a shorter break than most at Christmas though.
He's been working really hard and has exams up to mid June. Although term is supposed to finish at the end of June (and his halls are paid up to then) I think he will be home as soon as exams are over.
He has a job that he goes back to in the holidays but it's only a few hours a week. Better than nothing I guess.

Kez100 · 12/04/2015 15:06

DD and two of her flatmates have now decided to stay on while halls are still paid for and have a weeks holiday to explore the local area which they haven't done this year as they have either been working or exploring the town itself.

SecretSquirrels · 12/04/2015 15:17

It's a bit cheeky charging them for halls for weeks after lectures and exams finish. Students seem to get stung financially in every direction.
DS2(17) is going to go down and stay a weekend before DS1 comes home. So he will see the uni and the accommodation and have some brotherly bonding Grin.

Littleham · 13/04/2015 19:51

DD1 goes back soon. Has been great having her home. She is currently making all the packed lunches! I do like university. Why didn't I send them years ago...?

Should I be worried that she has been accepted into the House of Slytherin? Grin

fussychica · 14/04/2015 10:00

Secret totally agree. DS has last exam on 16 May but halls to be paid until end of June even though everyones exams are over by end of May. Its a huge amount of wasted money which would have more than paid for his flight to the US. Cant believe he'll be done in a matter of weeks other than graduation and then it all starts again at Oxford in the autumn.

Kez100 · 15/04/2015 18:48

Not only the charge for halls but the "impression" it gives you when applying that Uni finishes in June. Turns out it finishes mid May! Bearing in mind I am about to fork out £124 a week for this, I quite fancy going up there for a June holiday myself ;)

Isthiscorrect · 15/04/2015 19:10

Crikey. Ds doesn't finish until mid late June! Exams and then more stuff ready for homework during the summer ready for September! He is then staying in halls until 4th July. Apparently he and his friends will be living it up getting to know the city. and there was me thinking he would get a job

Original poster
madeinkent · 20/04/2015 15:12

DS went back a week ago, but we had to take over a whole load of stuff he forgot to take with him when he left. Some things never change. Still, it was lovely to see him and almost made up for only seeing him for a week over Easter. I'm trying to persuade him to stay on over the summer though, because I think he will be bored stiff here with us for so many months, well over four. Even allowing for a trip to Macedonia to see/evaluate how their OTC compares with ours! We would like him to get a holiday job, but I have to admit he doesn't seem all that keen on the idea. Better cut his allowance perhaps? Except his grandparents just raised their contribution. I think we might not win that one.

OP posts:
SecretSquirrels · 20/04/2015 16:58

DS went back this weekend. We ended up with a car load , heaven knows how we'll get it all back home again in June.
He has his old part time job but it's only about 7 hours a week, hardly going to keep him busy over the 3+month break. We have a couple of family holidays booked, thank goodness he still wants to come along Smile

Isthiscorrect · 20/04/2015 18:11

Needmore, I know your DS was staying in halls for the hols so he could work. I hope he wasn't caught up in the evacuation because of the collapsed building. I messaged ds to find out how he was and he said 'what collapse?' Which was good for me but a worry for others. Hope it's ok for your ds and his friends.

Doilooklikeatourist · 04/05/2015 19:38

DS was home for a weekend , went back to do more revision and sit the exams ,
Has now spent £150 On a door security man course so he can work in the summer at festivals and agricultural shows ( he worked in car parks and bard last year , a better hourly rate on the door though )

We've had notification of next years loans ( DD hopefully will be away too ) so hopefully that's all sorted

Not sure how I'll cope if I have a truly empty nest next year ... :(

Needmoresleep · 04/05/2015 20:45

Is this, a bit late but DS has been evacuated from the library twice. Once for the exchange fire thar preceded the security vault raid and then because of the collapsed building.

London boy so he is used to weird and wonderful happenings. Late for primary school because of an IRA rocket aimed at the MI6 building etc. DD was once late for school because the bridge was closed to allow the Popemobile to cross. They both had huge problems when the student riots 4 years ago were in full flow. How to get to and from school without being kettled.

Has your son found accommodation for next year. DS is lucky that he is taking over a room in a flat vacated by a current third year. All seems to be above board and the flat is closer to college than his current halls.

Littleham · 04/05/2015 20:58

Goodness NeedMore. You do lead an eventful life in London. Good excuses to be late for school! We only have stuck behind tractor & cow excuses.

My dd remembered to Skype this evening. Hasn't this year gone quickly?

Kez100 · 04/05/2015 21:38

Gone so fast. DD has just sent in her final.year 1 essay and has her final.crit.tomorrow with module.work.due.in.next week. Then that's it! Although she can stay for another five weeks if she wants.

Needmoresleep · 04/05/2015 22:13

Kez, that sounds very sad. What next?

fridayfreedom · 04/05/2015 23:38

Dd has one assignment and one essay to complete, should be in by the 18th. She struggles with essays, just found out she is dyslexic. But has done the prep, photos and model so just 1500 words to write, hope she gets on with it soon.
She is away until mid june as the 1st yrs help the third yrs for the last few weeks.
The dilema at the moment is that her Aunt, my sil is very unwell. They get on really well.
she became unwell suddenly and has been diagnosed witn cancer. Also has a clot on her lung. In hospital this evening. Due to see the Dr tomorrow.
will wait until Tomorrow to decide when we tell Dd. Was hoping we could wait till after her deadline but im not certain.
Would uni take this into account with her deadline/grades? She is doing so well, dont want to jepodise things now. Its so hard to decide what to do. We have only known for a few days ourselves. Looks like she is very ill.
dd is 5hrs away so I cant really go and tell her face to face.
Am torn with what to do.

SecretSquirrels · 05/05/2015 15:40

fridayfreedom Sorry to hear about that. It's a tough call. The 18th May is only two weeks away and she might get the essay done sooner?

It has gone quickly, or so it seems to me! DS has nine exams which do count towards his final degree. He is stressing and working very hard. Putting too much pressure on himself as usual.

DS2 looking at unis now. He came with us to take DS1 back to uni after Easter and was given a brisk tour of campus by his DB. He loved it! He is now planning to go on a proper open day and reckons he'd really like to go there. DH thinks this would be marvellous, having both DC at the same place. I am not so sure Hmm.

Notsoskinnyminny · 05/05/2015 18:41

friday that's a tough one, could you tell her her aunt isn't well and is having tests, so not really a lie, and if things are more serious bring her home for a weekend. If it is bad news could you speak to someone in the faculty office or better still the HOD and explain the situation so she gets all the support available.

DDs got another 2 wks of exams and one piece of coursework to submit. Her place for next year won't be confirmed until she gets her results in June, then she's got to go to London for her visa and then think about booking flights which are going up and up. It's going to be a stressful summer and that's before we even think about packing - so many shoes and bags, I don't know who she takes after Grin

fridayfreedom · 05/05/2015 21:46

Things are a little bit better now aunt is getting some treatment. Will wait till dd is home in a few weeks unless the situation gets worse in the mesntime.

mumeeee · 06/05/2015 09:31

Fridayfreedom sorry to hear about your sil but glad she is getting some treatment now. If you do need to tell your DD she could talk to her tutor at uni and ask for an extension for her essay. That's what DD3 did when my Father passed away in her first year.
DD3 is now coming to the end of her 2nd year I don't know where the times gone. She is very busy at the moment has several assignments to finish and has an exam on 27th May. She informed as last week that she might be staying in her uni town for the summer. One of her tutors is trying to sort out a summer placement and she is able to apply to stay in summer halls. She is coming on holiday with us for 2 weeks at the beginning of July. So at least we will see her then.