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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 4

566 replies

madeinkent · 29/01/2015 13:15

DD and her friends secured their house yesterday. There are 5 of them, and a new house came on, and they dashed over to see it, and then straight on to the Letting Agents to confirm they wanted to take it. As they were filling out the forms another group came in wanting the same property, and both groups' details were sent to the Landlord who confirmed they'd let it to DD and her friends. Small matter of immediate deposit of £430 plus agent's fee of £180 (per person). She's given our names and details as guarantors, and says it will just be for her room, not for the whole house! Presume we'll get something through the post soon and will need to check it carefully. She's in Catered Halls this year, which she has really been enjoying, but this should be much cheaper even though it still seems quite expensive.

That sounds about right for what DS was doing in the summer last year, he left it until late and then just slotted in with whoever, and it has worked very well for their household. I wasn't surprised they asked him for a retainer, just that he had to do it so early. The whole thing has been interesting to watch.

OP posts:
mrsrhodgilbert · 08/05/2015 17:26

Hello all, lovely to see so many familiar faces still here. It's a year since my breast cancer diagnosis and I've just had my first post treatment mammogram and it was clear. So relieved, four more years of close monitoring to go which is quite stressful but it was lovely news.

Dd1 finishes her second year today, those of you who remember me might recall that after a dreadful first year in halls she has been commuting. She has to do a four week work placement starting on Monday.

I might be joining you again in September when dd2 starts, exams permitting! I'm hoping she will have a smoother ride, we have certainly learnt a few things along the way and she has chosen very different accommodation to her sister.

I hope you all have a lovely summer and hope to speak to you all in the autumn.

noddyholder · 08/05/2015 17:27

Congratulations on your good news :)

SecretSquirrels · 08/05/2015 18:05

mrsrhodgilbert Good news Flowers. I do hope it is all easier second time around although I find in parenting that you think you've learned all the lessons with DC1 and then DC2 manages to find new challenges.

Needmoresleep · 09/05/2015 10:45

But now we can suggest that DD seeks advice from DS. For some reason she will listen to him.

DS came home to vote. A pity as it would take an SNP type earthquake to dislodge out local MP whilst his student accomodation faced an interesting four way split. Still it was nice to see him and feed him.

Notsoskinnyminny · 09/05/2015 12:49

Great news mrsrhod Grin. DDs had a fantastic 2nd year so it really is the luck of who they're put with. I'm hoping her year abroad lives up to her expectations but she reckons she can cope with anything after her horrendous first year.

Best wishes to both of your DDs Flowers

madeinkent · 11/05/2015 11:37

Hello mrsrhod! I'm so glad things are ok, I was thinking about you.

I think DS could come home soon if he wants, but I am not suggesting it. My diet is going too well for me to want him back just yet.

I did dream he had come home the other night, and felt a pang, but the reality is that I have finally got used to him not being around, and facebook messaging works well for us. Plus I don't want him to be stuck out with us in the sticks without transport, he's better off in the city where he can always find something to do, while he can. I have a friend whose daughter is coming back this weekend, and she is racing around frantically trying to find part-time jobs for her to do. I did try for DS, as a farming friend's helper on his pig farm - but he went and sold it last week! TBH I was intrigued as to how long DS would stick it for. I was looking on it as a sort of experiment, with DS as guinea pig. Grin I was brought up with animals, all DS has had is a cat, a rabbit and guinea pigs.

If he spends all summer here, all that will happen is that DBH will farm out all the jobs he should be doing to DS, in which case I will have DBH (teacher) lounging about in front of the tv preventing me from watching it, rather than DS lounging about in front of his computer in his den.

OP posts:
Notsoskinnyminny · 13/05/2015 12:31

Argggh! Spoke too soon about DDs great year as she thinks she's messed up 2 exams and "only"got 60% for a piece of coursework that's 70% of her grade so she feels like she's wasting her time and will end up with a crap degree. Suggestions to speak to tutors have fell on deaf ears because she says they all hate her after an incident earlier this year and she's terrified she'll be thrown out if she complains Sad for her and Angry that I can't speak on her behalf. She's on a 4 yr language course so wouldn't get funding to redo the year and even if she could she thinks employers would frown on it.

Littleham · 13/05/2015 12:54

Flowers Notso Which year is she in? Hope it works out ok.

mumeeee · 13/05/2015 20:30

mrsrhod that:s great news. Notso your DD might still be okay. 60% is not a bad grade. It's annoying though when their are adamant that they've messed up and get stressed.

Notsoskinnyminny · 14/05/2015 16:36

Littleham she's just finishing her 2nd year

mumeeee she's doing a joint degree and she's struggled with one half all year so she stayed at Easter to do more research for her coursework in the hope it would boost her marks.

She promised she'd speak to someone yesterday but claims no-one was available. I'm hoping she's been today and they've talked some sense into her.

mumeeee · 14/05/2015 19:17

Notso is she able to email her tutor before going to see them. DD3 will now email tutors to ask them things. She is then better about talking to them face to face which is an improvement.

fussychica · 14/05/2015 20:42

Great news mrsrhod, keep us updated. Glad to hear your dd is having a better time this year.

Notsoskinnyminny · 16/05/2015 14:44

Panic over, she spoke to her tutor and she's not doing as bad as she thinks and they fiddle calculate the final grade in a number of ways to get the best result, including just using final year grades I wish DS's uni had done this as he'd have got a 1st

One more exam this week and then year 2 is finished. This time next year you'll all be looking for graduation outfits Grin

Isthiscorrect · 16/05/2015 15:02

Good news for your DD, Notso. And a welcome relief for you.
MrsRhod, congrats to you as well, after a difficult time.
Enjoy the summer everyone, both time with and without DC.

fridayfreedom · 16/05/2015 20:17

DD came home for the weekend to see us and to finish her essay. Due in Monday then another assignment but more for fun and not graded.
have told her about her Auntie. They spoke on the phone last night whicgh was good.
Going back to tomorrow, then back 13th June

Littleham · 18/05/2015 10:28

DD1's exams start this week - German language first. My parents visited and said that she is working hard. I really hope they go well.

Anyone else with dc's doing exams?

SecretSquirrels · 18/05/2015 11:31

Littleham DS has eight exams starting next week, he seems to be working every hour in the day. Apparently first year exams often don't count towards the final degree but they do on his course.
DS2 up to his ears in AS exams as well.

Needmoresleep · 18/05/2015 12:15

All DS' exams are next week. I dont know what happens after that. Nothing? Sensibly next year the timetable is rearranged adding an extra week to the first two terms and cutting the length of the third term by three weeks.

First year exams don't matter, though I think you have to pass. However doing well will mean he has more options for the second and third year. He has taken a lot of maths/statistics courses and the adjustment from school to University style teaching has been challenging, though he seems happy that he is now on top of the content. He just needs exam results to confirm this. He is also working very hard.

SecretSquirrels · 18/05/2015 13:16

That second year timetable makes sense NMS. This third term is even shorter in reality than on paper. It's supposed to finish on 30th June but in fact the last lecture is this week and last exam 10th June.

After exams DS is going on holiday with his girl friend for a few days then back to uni for some end of year events and to collect results. Then move out of his halls.

Needmoresleep · 18/05/2015 14:04

Its a new thing for next year for the whole University. It seems like a good idea as UGs will get more teaching and everyone will get a longer summer holiday. I wonder if other Universities will follow.

mumeeee · 18/05/2015 14:27

DD3 is having a bit of a panic about one of her assignments she has to do an demonstration on it tomorrow and has had some trouble getting things to work. We have also had some bad news which is affecting her concentration a bit. Her Nan ( my Mother ) is in hospital with pneumonia and is not expected to recover. DD3 did know that her Nan was very frail and wouldn't live a long time but this has come as a bit of a shock to us. I've told her to speak to someone in student Services to explain the circumstances nut I'm not sure if she will do that. I think she just wants to get on with trying to finish this assignment today.

SecretSquirrels · 18/05/2015 15:04

Sorry to hear that mumeeee. These students all do seem very reluctant to ask for help. Is it part of growing up I wonder? Oh for the days of infant school when you could speak to the teacher for them.

mumeeee · 18/05/2015 15:30

Thanks SecretSquirrels. I think they just think they should be grown up and do things themselves. Her Granddad died in the first term of her first year, She did let me speak to someone then mainly to just find out what she should do and she did go and do what was suggested then. This time I don't think she wants me to do anything think she is probably to stressed with getting assignments done and thinks she can just keep going. Oh well I've told her to phone me or DH anytime she wants to and she has spoken to her church group about it which at least is something.

fridayfreedom · 18/05/2015 22:44

Same here dd is reluctant to talk to anyone about stuff which she has stressed about.
4 weeks to go till shes home.
Her friend from home will be down there on teaching practice in two weeks time so shes looking forward to that.
Trying to instill in her about how well she has done, how hard she has worked, how much she has learnt and how much she has learnt about looking after herself.

fussychica · 24/05/2015 15:37

After another 9 hour round trip to collect ds and pack the car to the roof he has finally finished his 4 years as an undergraduate. One more round trip to make in July for graduation then its off to Oxford for post grad in September - a far more manageable 3 hour round trip - bliss!

Have a great summer with your offspring if they are home for the duration - wont be seeing much of ds, he's off to the US on Wednesday for 7 weeks to see his girlfriend.