Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Tutor thinks DD is G&T school don't - WWYD ?

165 replies

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 11:27

My DD moved from a crap private school to a good state one, but we knew there were issues with her maths so we found a good tutor for her to see twice a week and all has been going well.
However the tutor basically says DD's writing and drawing is exceptional and her reading is very good too, she regularly does 8 year olds homework, but she doesn't seem to show this in class.
The school think she is struggling with reading (i know this is not true) and last week despite getting 10/10 on her spellings in the morning she got 4/10 in the class test.
What on earth is going on ? I thought she was happier in the state school she has more friends who are like us if you know what i mean and has lots of treats, the theatre, holidays, nice outings etc.
Just not sure how to make the school see the child the tutor sees ?

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 02/10/2006 11:44

How old is she?

I hesitate to say it but the school sees far more of her than the tutor does, and will be monitoring her everyday progress in the work that they set, so unless they are really failing her they will have a better idea of how she's really doing on their curriculum than the tutor. They can only judge her on the work that they see her doing, no matter what the tutor tells you she's capable of.

Is the tutor trustworthy, or is s/he just taking your money and telling you what you want to hear? Do the school listen when you raise your concerns? Is there any chance that it's a concentration problem - that she understands the work and can do it when she's fresh, but has difficulty maintaining her concentration at school because it's for a longer time?

popsycal · 02/10/2006 11:58

It is tricky isn't it. It could be a variety of things. Maybe she thrives on the one to one input. Some children get a little 'lost' in a class of 30 if they are quieter. Is she distracted by the children that she sits with?

Also, the 'label' G&T has lots of political/school red tape attached to it and schools are often reluctant to attach the G&T label to little ones as things can change so quickly. Schools also have a 'quota' of G&T that they can have - 10% in KS2 - not sure in other key stages. So gifted and talented in one school may not be so in the next IYSWIM.

popsycal · 02/10/2006 11:59

G&T bt is gifted and talented....
not gin and tonic
unfortunately

LIZS · 02/10/2006 12:12

How old is she ? When you say she does 8 yr olds' "homework" , is that with the tutor or her applying what she has learnt with him/her on her own. Most children can do much more when given 1 to 1 but unfortunately for most that isn't realistic on a day to day basis.

Does her school do any of the low key testing to look at the potential of a child - PIPs I think is one - and could therefore identify whether she is actually underperforming. Then you could explore the reasons that may be the case. Class size for example may well be a factor.

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 12:17

She does the 8 year olds homework with the tutor.
She's 6.2 yrs in year 2.

I do trust the tutors as they were recommended from several people and are renowned in the area. The tutor sees her for 4 hours a week.
I just worried about the class sizes, if she's like me then she's lazy and that was why we looked at private schools in the first place to keep on top of her.
Concentration is definitely an issue too, although if i give her anymore omega 3 she'll grow gills.

OP posts:
popsycal · 02/10/2006 12:20

School will probably have a parents' evening before Christmas - most do. Bring it up with the teacher then perhaps.

4 hours a week seems a lot of time for a little on in addition to school. Tell me to take a jump if I am pushing my nose in but perhaps the extra work is having a knock on effect on her concentration the next day in school?

I am happy to be shot down in flames

LIZS · 02/10/2006 12:26

Sorry but I think there is a world of difference between being coached by a tutor through Year3/4 stuff and applying it independently to her own Year 2 workload. Wouldn't he/she bet better focussing more on what she is doing in classroom, day in day out, so that she can readily prove to her teachers that she find it easy, plus a little extension work perhaps ?

batters · 02/10/2006 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frogs · 02/10/2006 12:35

Four hours tutoring a week in Y2??? Blimey.

Personally (and we have been here extensively with dd1) I wouldn't tutor at that age unless there was a specific problem that the school couldn't or wouldn't address. Being under-demanded in class is a bit crap, but is pretty much guaranteed to happen at least some of the time to any reasonably bright child from a supportive middle-class home in a state primary school classroom. Ds is a reasonably advanced reader (eg read his way through the whole Harry Potter series in Y2) but is clearly not G&T in the sense that the curriculum is totally failing to meet his needs as happened with dd1.

Unless and until your child is working themselves into the kind of state you just can't ignore (school refusal, say, or serious behavioural problems) the best way to compensate IMO is to give them lots of extra input after school and at weekends. But not school work, specifically -- I'd be thinking in terms of museum visits, cooking with them, mini-science experiments, encouraging them to keep scrapbooks or do projects etc. In the end most of the primary school curriculum is pretty dull, and the whole joy for bright children should be that they can learn the main curriculum at warp speed, freeing up time for things they actually enjoy.

Unless she is actively unhappy at school I'd just leave the tutoring tbh, and spend time with her doing fun and interesting extension activities.

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 12:38

Maybe i'm putting too much faith in the tutors. Interesting that you think it's too much for her maybe she needs a night off.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 02/10/2006 12:41

I agree. she's only 6.
Who cares whether she's g and t or not?

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 12:41

I'm giving the wrong impression of the tutor, it is fun extention activies, most of the summer they have spent playing in the garden with older and younger children, they do relaxation excerises, lying on the floor with their eyes shut imagining gardens. She loves it.

OP posts:
frogs · 02/10/2006 12:46

Have to say I'd be a bit suspicious of any tutor who was prepared to do that much with an infant-age child. Most reputable tutors round here (Central London, where there is a heavy demand for tutoring for super-pushy private-school entrance exams) won't take on children below Y4, and I've never heard of any child doing more than one or possibly two hours a week, maximum.

Seriously, I really wouldn't go there with a child that age. I think for a state-educated child who's going to be competing at 11+ with prep-school educated kids, you can make out a case for a 12-18 months of extra help before the exams, just to level the playing field. But for a tiny -- no way.

frogs · 02/10/2006 12:48

Ah, missed your post of 12.41. And you pay for her to lie on the grass relaxing?

LIZS · 02/10/2006 12:49

That does sound fine for an hour or so a week at most but tbh I still think he should be doing extension activites to support her daily Year 2 work not KS2 or she may simply not see its relevance and benefit at school.

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 12:50

tutor BOUNd to say kid is clever

YOu ar e paying her

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 12:57

Sure i take your point about paying her but tbh wouldn't she make more money from me by saying she's not clever and needs more support rather than less ?

I agree about not seeing the relevance with the older childs homework.
I just want to make sure she doesn't fall behind due to being a lazy bugger and not getting enough 1 to 1 (like i did if i'm honest).

OP posts:
soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 12:58

FOUR Hours a week
god give her a break

SherlockLGJ · 02/10/2006 13:01

Four hours a week.

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 13:01

yes
i have no sympathy fro you
give rher a break
sh is 6

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:02

She does her homework, she plays, she gets a break from her siblings, she meets new people, she loves going !!!

OP posts:
soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 13:02

parp

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:02

I didn't ask for your sympathy whoever you are.

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 02/10/2006 13:03

She's six. If she can't be a "lazy bugger" when she's six then when can she?

I think you need to ease up some of the pressure on her, to be honest. Tutors twice a week at age 6 is a hell of a lot of extra work ... and you can do the relaxation and lying in the grass bits yourself!

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:06

There is NO pressure at all, it's like Kumon where they sit and do work, as I explained before they are doing jigsaws, playing in the garden, yes they do their homework too and other peoples it seems but she gets the time and attention i can't give her because she has two older and two younger siblings.
I wish I'd never asked now, the sensible people seem to have left the board.

OP posts: