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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Tutor thinks DD is G&T school don't - WWYD ?

165 replies

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 11:27

My DD moved from a crap private school to a good state one, but we knew there were issues with her maths so we found a good tutor for her to see twice a week and all has been going well.
However the tutor basically says DD's writing and drawing is exceptional and her reading is very good too, she regularly does 8 year olds homework, but she doesn't seem to show this in class.
The school think she is struggling with reading (i know this is not true) and last week despite getting 10/10 on her spellings in the morning she got 4/10 in the class test.
What on earth is going on ? I thought she was happier in the state school she has more friends who are like us if you know what i mean and has lots of treats, the theatre, holidays, nice outings etc.
Just not sure how to make the school see the child the tutor sees ?

OP posts:
TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:21

piffle, I too waited 9 months for ds to be assessed but lets be clear here both parties are regarded as SN. They both present their problems in similar ways for very different reasons.

misdee · 03/10/2006 10:23

she will be seen soon by ed physch as part of her nursery is for SN. she has a week of intensive SALT during the holidays. so although she is doing year 2 stage work for some, we are working mroe on her areas of 'weakness' (i hate that term, urgh) that her strength atm to try and ghet her to catch up a bit.

and a lot of that is physical activities and social skills.

Piffle · 03/10/2006 10:26

WEll I'm damned raw at the minute Tena as the Effing LEA have wriggled out of the statementing process just as dd was about to finally see the ed psych - so now habe to restart the entire process myself
DD is nearly blind for heavens sake
And I have one of each, I do not class an exceptionally able and G+T 3 yr old in the same league for help as a SN 3 year old
End of
Bit different when they are older though but at this stage, intervention is CRITICAL for SN kids, not the same at all for G+T kids

wombat1 · 03/10/2006 10:27

I think you are very confused Hideehi. I am a mother of 3 bright children (aren't we all!) and a tutor and £11.50 is far below the charge of any reputable tutor. In London, the going rate for a primary school tutor is £25-£35 an hour. I think you are paying for very expensive babysitting.

You wanted tutoring for maths, yet the tutor plays in the garden with your dd. The school says her reading is not up to standard, so why isn't the tutor working on this? Why is she not spending tiume everyday reading and being read to?

Most 6 year olds can't concentrate on work for more than 30 minutes at a time. 4 hours a week is ridiculous.

Lots of children are artistic and have various talents, but who wants to create a genius and have them pushed ahead and ostracised by their peer group? Just let your children have fun and enjoy their childhood. Why don't you spend more time with them yourself and save your money? Isn't that what having children is all about? Any child would rather spend time doing a puzzle or playing with their mother, than with someone who is just doing it because they are being paid to.

trinityrhino · 03/10/2006 10:27

I was going to try and be constructive and offer that maybe your dd hasn't completely sttled into her school yet and that she will show her abilities in time and the teacher may well agree with the tutor

but then you got all horrid and said" I would never dump my children in childcare"

well I do and have to at the mo. Also your 'tutor' sounds like childcare anyway

good luck with whatever you are trying to acheive and try not to be so nasty in future about childcare when you are using it yourself

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:27

misdee, that makes perfect sense. I do similar with ds.
We do lots of physical activiies, such as horseriding, football, swimming, cooking but he is a bugger with writing (i understand this is common for boys in particular) So like you I sit with him after reading his book and we practice one sheet of letter forming.

Then he buggers off and play thunderbirds or somat.

It is all about a balance.

Marina · 03/10/2006 10:27

Beautiful, reasoned post there bink

badkarma · 03/10/2006 10:28

HDH, does your dd go out of the home for tutoring? It's normal here for the tutors to come to our homes to do the work. How are the 4 hours a week structured? An hour a day for 4 days? 2 hours for 2 days?
My dd is 5 and when she comes home at 2pm she is so tired. Some days, 3 days a week actually, she goes to an afterschools club where she is learning tin whistle and Irish language, she loves going, but when she comes home she then has her homework to do and she is crabit and exhausted, I feel guilty. She has the other 2 evenings a week to come in, have a snack, do homework, and then crash and chill... she can play games/jigsaws/read/paint/splash outside/feed the animals/dig the field/ basically anything she wants to do that isn't studying or needing to use her brain. It's ok for them not to be doing educational stuff all the time. My 5yr old knows how to dig potatoes, she knows how to shear sheep... I doubt if a 5yr old is expected to know this though but she sticks to her daddys side and stays there!

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:30

Well Piffle if I were you I would be on that phone everyday and writing to my local MP if you have been side tracked as this seems unfair for any SN child given the time you have waited.

Piffle · 03/10/2006 10:31

I only found out yesterday, am surely onto it all guns blazing. Am enraged on dd's behalf - the reason they said they pulled the plug
Because dd goes to a montessori nuresery that receives no govt funding.
So it's not about the child apparently

misdee · 03/10/2006 10:32

we dont do football, horseriding, etc. not structured activities at all. more balencing on walls, trampolining (best thing i ever bought), climbing, running, stretching, catching, throwing etc. all core activities that her physio has given us to do. and she has slowly improved.

if she wants to do the work then she will, i dont force her to do it.

i am so looking forward to her starting school, as i think it will be a different experience to dd1 at school. dd1 is a social butterfly and has lot of friends, is average (but to me she is wonderful) well balence girl. she has help with reading.

but dd2, well, i want to see if the school that dd1 is at is suitable for her. i am hoping it is as its a small school and she wont get lost i nthe system, which is what happened with dd1 at her old school.

Bozza · 03/10/2006 10:33

What I want to know is precisely how different it is for a 6yo to go to a CM for 4 hours a week compared with a tutor who is just doing activities with the child that the mother can't be bothered/manage to find time to do.

The main difference I am seeing is about £8/hour.

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:33

My nursery was the same, I got my help through the HV, try that angle and make no bones about it. They do have their uses sometimes.

Original poster
Hideehi · 03/10/2006 10:35

I have newborn twins, it really isn't a case of can't be bothered, more can't keep my fecking eyes open.

OP posts:
Piffle · 03/10/2006 10:36

My HV wears her t shirts back to front, but I'll consider it

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:37

Bozza, I dont think it is a about a parent that cant be bothered. I have to confess I wouldnt have a clue where to start if I decided to home tutor. These teachers know about the correct structure of teaching which is just as important.

Some children wont respond to their parents help either but gel perfectly with another personality who is not as familiar.

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:39

ooh Hideehi, how lovely twins.

misdee · 03/10/2006 10:39

yes tena lady, dd1 has gelled well with dh main carer and will do her afterschool readign with her. she gets 1 to 1 attention then as i can then get on with helping getting the other 2 setttled and dinner on.

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:39

You on that phone yet Piffle?

Original poster
Hideehi · 03/10/2006 10:40

They are lovely, they are my second set though so a bit of a shock !
Another reason for ensuring DD has time out of the house, she's the only girl between two sets of boy twins.

OP posts:
TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:41

bloody hell!

Piffle · 03/10/2006 10:52

Tena just spoken To IPSEA, I'm requesting a statutory assessment myself first class registered post TODAY.
Certainly not waiting for them to call me...
newborn twins HDH
I'm amazed you can even type legibly

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:55

There you go, thats a start

Socci · 03/10/2006 10:56

Message withdrawn

TenaLady · 03/10/2006 10:56

Ahh, will they charge you for that Piffle as I understand any assessment can cost from around £200 upwards?

If via HV, may be a wait but without cost.

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