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Original poster

Tutor thinks DD is G&T school don't - WWYD ?

165 replies

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 11:27

My DD moved from a crap private school to a good state one, but we knew there were issues with her maths so we found a good tutor for her to see twice a week and all has been going well.
However the tutor basically says DD's writing and drawing is exceptional and her reading is very good too, she regularly does 8 year olds homework, but she doesn't seem to show this in class.
The school think she is struggling with reading (i know this is not true) and last week despite getting 10/10 on her spellings in the morning she got 4/10 in the class test.
What on earth is going on ? I thought she was happier in the state school she has more friends who are like us if you know what i mean and has lots of treats, the theatre, holidays, nice outings etc.
Just not sure how to make the school see the child the tutor sees ?

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 02/10/2006 14:20

My son learns languages too. I'm slightly about it, but it IS supposed to be easier when you're young....

OttercumCoypu · 02/10/2006 14:25

i am all for a bit of stimulation but tri lingual - every extra curricular activity going and tutoring. Its a bit much for a six year old and she may well burn out. She only gets one childhood and its a short one these days. G&T means very little in primary - mine are on it but are unaware of this fact. I would leave her be. If the iq is there she will succeed. let her vegetate and play pippas!

Enid · 02/10/2006 14:31

hideehi

Listen to the school. That 'tutor' sounds crap anyway tbh. It does sound very much like dds school's After School Club. If you are really concerned about her maths (and a bit mad to be at 6 tbh) then you would be better off doing Kumon, or those workbooks that you buy in Smiths and do at home. Reading between the lines of your posts she sounds like an average 6 year old to me but I am also saddened by the 'equipment gathering dust'- that says it all about her ability to concentrate and focus on a task - I make dd1 and dd2 BEG before they are allowed to do any after school activity and once they start they MUST keep on at it

TenaLady · 02/10/2006 14:41

Wont go into too deeper detail, but in answer to your question 'Just not sure how to make the school see the child the tutor sees ?'

I had my ds checked and a report given to the Local Department of Education in order to have our ds fastracked a year earlier into reception class.
I had only one child and had no notion of his abilities, it was others that were telling me and I thought it was my duty to have him checked out.

School was happy to take him in earlier but the Education Department stated 'it simply was not the policy to fast track a child at this stage into the schooling system'!

I went to his nursery to ask for reports on his progress and they came up with a 0 in fact half the info wasnt even filled in and they hadnt seen anything exceptional which made me feel like a pushy Mum.

However when I compared the educational psychologist report with his nursery report it was a real hoot. This man had discovered so much in 3 sessions that the nursery could in the two years he was there.

Its a bloody minefield, if policy state it then you cant have it never mind the proof and the back up from anywhere else.

I was made to feel so pushy that sadly I gave up and left him another year to go into school.

I feel a bit resentful but I am waiting for the bomb to explode when he gets fed up of going through the same old curriculum stuff he has had to endure for the three years on the trot and becomes bored and disruptive.

I am so looking forward to saying 'I told you so'

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 15:02

but she goes to tesco so obvnot very clever ( sh esays hiding teco cariiers)

bluejelly · 02/10/2006 15:14

I just think 'if it aint' broke don't fix it'
Not sure what you were trying to achieve tenalady

Enid · 02/10/2006 15:15

I think being a bit bored at school and learning NOt to be disruptive is an important skill tbh

bluejelly · 02/10/2006 15:15

Sorry if that came across as bit brusque
Just think as long as teh children aren't dreadfully distressed by their education, then let them get on with it.
Being told you are a genius from an early age doesn't necessarily do you any favours ( in my humble opinion)

Enid · 02/10/2006 15:17

agree 100% with bluejelly

bluejelly · 02/10/2006 15:19

thanks enid

Judy1234 · 02/10/2006 17:41

Why not move her to a really brilliant academic private school then, perhaps one with entrance tests at 7. Our second daughter had some tutoring at 6 to get her into her school at 7+ which didn't do her any harm. I don't think it was as much as 4 hours a week, more like one hour practising entrance papers.

OttercumCoypu · 02/10/2006 17:59

dear me

Original poster
Hideehi · 02/10/2006 18:07

Because it's not about getting her into an academic private school, we aren't the 4 x 4 type and tbh can't really afford private school so I have tried to offer her tennis lessons, which she sort of didn't mind, riding lessons which she hated, swimming, not optional and these tutors which she loves, to top her up if that makes sense, well it does to me.
I got what I came for so thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
Piffle · 02/10/2006 18:11

Golly gosh
It just seems so early to want to set children such academic goals.

popsycal · 02/10/2006 19:52

Suspected that this thread would go this way when i posted earlier today.

I would never tutor a child below Year 4. In fact I have only tutored years 5 and 6.

they are shattered when they get in from school.
They have homework frm school.
They need to switch off and let their brain reboot itself.
My personal opinion is the lay off the tutoring a little and see how things go in school and reassess in 6 months.

Tia · 02/10/2006 22:06

Tenalady - can you tell me more about getting a very young child assessed? I am interested in building a case for my husband's company to give us private school fees if we relocate, so would explore any avenue. Did you use a conventional ed psych and did he/she do the usual ability type tests? Am just wondering how you can do IQ testing in a 3 year old!

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 22:55

The world has gone f*cking mad

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 22:56

6

6 yrs old ffs

SueW · 03/10/2006 06:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Original poster
Hideehi · 03/10/2006 08:49

I'm paying £11.50 an hour and am very happy to do so for a start there aren't lots of screaming kids, I would never dump my kids in childcare.

OP posts:
Enid · 03/10/2006 08:52

'dump my kids in childcare'

lol

Twiglett · 03/10/2006 08:55

have scanned thread

here's what I think FWIW

Some parents desire their children to be seen as G&T .. whereas it would be my worst nightmare .. I feel bright is bright enough

A tutor who is paid has a different take on things than a school

I would believe the school in this instance

I think tutoring a 6 year old falls into pushy parent mode

But then my 5.5 year old goes to french club .. its a larf and he goes with his mates ... and some people may feel the same

Do you really not have the patience to 'glue leaves into books' .. that's a terribly sad indictment

MrsScareyFish · 03/10/2006 08:57

lol at childcare comment
no its POSHchildcare
snort

foundintranslation · 03/10/2006 08:59

yes, sorry, you wouldn't 'dump her in childcare' (hurtful and judgemental phrase - and no, I don't use childcare) but don't have the time or interest to go leaf collecting with her so the tutor does it?

Enid · 03/10/2006 08:59

oh and stop filling her up with omega 3's

ask yourself why you are doing it - to me it is the equivalent of giving them performance enhancing drugs - you are feeding them vitamins in the hope they will be brighter than other kids

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