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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Original poster

Tutor thinks DD is G&T school don't - WWYD ?

165 replies

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 11:27

My DD moved from a crap private school to a good state one, but we knew there were issues with her maths so we found a good tutor for her to see twice a week and all has been going well.
However the tutor basically says DD's writing and drawing is exceptional and her reading is very good too, she regularly does 8 year olds homework, but she doesn't seem to show this in class.
The school think she is struggling with reading (i know this is not true) and last week despite getting 10/10 on her spellings in the morning she got 4/10 in the class test.
What on earth is going on ? I thought she was happier in the state school she has more friends who are like us if you know what i mean and has lots of treats, the theatre, holidays, nice outings etc.
Just not sure how to make the school see the child the tutor sees ?

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Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:07

Typing too quickly, It's NOT like Kumon.

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foxinsocks · 02/10/2006 13:09

My dd is 6 years 1 month and in year 2. There's no waaaaaaay she could handle 4 hours tutoring.

My dd is a lousy writer (although drastically improving this school term it seems) but a brilliant reader and has been free reading for ages. That, however, does not make her G&T.

Also, remember any work done with any adult on a one to one basis is likely to be superior to what is done in a class situation - she'll have 29 other children, less guidance and she'll be left to her own devices a lot more.

In your shoes, I would ditch the tutor and go in and ask if the school have any concerns. If they do, then you can address them (perhaps with the tutor or on your own).

WigWamBam · 02/10/2006 13:10

I thought I was being eminently sensible. She's 6 - she's just a little girl.

Sorry that you don't like my opinion, but you did ask. There's too much pressure on small children in schools as it is, without having to perform at home as well.

If she's struggling in a few years time then maybe a tutor would be necessary then, but at six? Too much, IMO. Sorry.

Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:13

I don't feel confident enough to tackle anything on my own, i do know they are concerned about her concentration which is why I explored the private school and tutors in the first place.
I don't want to go back to private school so the tutor seems a logical compromise or home ed which i don't really fancy either.
I have an appointment on wednesday with her class teacher, I shalln't mention the G&T at all unless she offers to buy me one

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frogs · 02/10/2006 13:16

HDH, don't take it personally, some people just hate the idea of G&T in principle. Actually I think it's a naff label too, and I think that schools should be able to meet every child's needs within the classroom. But it doesn't always happen.

If your dd is happy at school and is achieving reasonably well most of the time, then IMO it doesn't matter if she sometimes gets work which is too easy for her. If you're worried about her getting behind, then you can buy commercial workbooks in eg. Smiths for her to do a bit of practice each day, which also enables you to keep a handle on what she can and can't do.

I think the vibe in primary schools is different to the one in private schools, and I can see it might take a bit of getting used to. But as long as the school is reasonably good and you keep a gentle eye on what's going wrt schoolwork, she shouldn't slip through the net. If she enjoys the tutoring, fair enough, but it does seem like a lot of hours. And if you tell the school you're doing that, then I would put good money on the teacher marking you out as a pushy mum (not saying you are, but I suspect that's what they'll think). Tutoring for 6yo is certainly not the norm, let's put it like that.

foxinsocks · 02/10/2006 13:17

honestly, hideehi, all they really have to do is enjoy primary school. If she's happy then that's all you really have to worry about.

If they have concerns about her concentration, then perhaps ask what they think you could do to help her with that. You're probably a lot more resourceful than you give yourself credit for.

Also, judging by her age, she's one of the youngest in her class anyway so don't forget that she's only just 6 and there will be children in her class who are already 7 who may seem much more grown-up/advanced.

magnolia1 · 02/10/2006 13:19

I don't understand why you feel she needs a tutor at all???
Sorry but I really feel a child does not need a tutor unless the school are not meeting her needs and at the age of 6 I would be more likely to change schools if this were the case rather than her have extra tutoring for 4 hours!
I feel my 7 yr old twins (Yr 2) have too much homework as it is. They are still very young and I let them go at the pace and ability tthat comes naturally to them. Dt1 is way above her sister and peers in her writing and reading, her sister is above her twin in maths and art but no extra involvement from me or anyone else needed. They are just learning at their own pace

Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:21

We did change schools because they weren't meeting her needs. The tutoring is in my opinion benefical purely because she gets one to one time which i don't believe in a class of thirty she gets any of at all.

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juicychops · 02/10/2006 13:24

surely having 1 on 1 time with a tutor doing puzzles etc that she actually enjoys would help her concentration?? I dont see that its a bad thing imo. If its not stressing her out and shes not complaining then whats the harm? any extra 'fun work' is a positive i would of thought. a six year old is old enough to say whether they don't want to do it or not.

Being in school is a whole different issue. there are so many distractions and explainations for the lack of concentration and not working to full potensial. I dont see the harm in extra tutoring

juicychops · 02/10/2006 13:26

and i dont have a 6 year old child so i know i cant say what is wrong or right, im just saying what i think. Maybe il have different opinions all together when ds is 6!! but i have a 6 year old sister so i have her in mind whilst writing this

juicychops · 02/10/2006 13:26

magnolia1 · 02/10/2006 13:28

Thats true but if her concentration at school is suffering (spellings etc...) its not helping is it??
Maybe if she was just able to be a 6 year old without the extra tutoring she would have the energy for more concentration at school?
If the spellings are her only problem at school I really don't think being in a class of 30 is tthat bad for her?

beckybrastraps · 02/10/2006 13:29

Does the tutor think she is generally academically gifted, or that she has a specific talent in art or creative writing? Both would come under the "G&T" label, which is not just a programme for "clever" children.

I'm interested in the sort of tutoring that your dd is receiving. You suggested that it was for maths, but it sounds like more than that?

Incidentally, my son does not perform as well in written spelling tests as he does orally, because he loathes writing. He is more a "spelling bee" kind of child. Could something like this be affecting your child's performance at school?

magnolia1 · 02/10/2006 13:29

And I don't understand why you feel she 'must' have 1-1 attention in education at the age of 6??

Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:31

My husband and I find that when we do nothing our concentration slips, when we are busy and using our brains a lot then we get sharper, I have no reason to believe the same wouldn't apply at 6 yrs do you ?
She could be knckered, not have liked those particular spellings, who knows eh ? But if she doesn't want to go I can assure you she'll make her feelings known.
Thanks a lot bye.

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Piffle · 02/10/2006 13:31

Coming at it from the angle of having had a G+T child at that age and beyond. I never even did spellings with my ds, I thought he was too young for tests and homework.
Heartily agree tutoring is unnecessary at that age - use the money for drama groups or dance class/horse riding etc
G+T in primary schools is based mostly on results in CATS and SATS whereas as seoncdary school, you are more likely to get picked up on arts subjects.
I'd sit back, let her settle at her new school, take the presure off and let her find her own level.

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 13:32

Gosh I think 4 hours of tutoring for a just 6 year old is a bit OTT.

Surely that would be better replaced by sport, exercise, having friends over for tea, chilling in front of the TV, playing out...

If your dd is able to do 8 yrs old homework it doesn't sound like she needs a tutor to me.

foundintranslation · 02/10/2006 13:34

In some countries your dd might not even be in school yet. dh didn't start until he was 7 and is currently doing his PhD

Maybe at that age I would consider 1 or max 2 hours of 'non-work' tutoring, aimed at gently helping concentration, if I had real concerns about it, but not 4.

Sorry but can't help agreeing with those who say the tutor is likely to say what you want to hear.

I spent a lot of time at school doing work which was too easy for me and in the long run it didn't hurt.

foundintranslation · 02/10/2006 13:35

And concentration (in the widest sense) can be helped by doing any task which requires several steps and application, baking a cake, going out to collect leaves, putting together a collage etc. etc.

magnolia1 · 02/10/2006 13:35

Hideehi: Her brain is being used at school so therefore she will stay sharp, surely there is a huge difference between an adlt brain and a childs??
It seems a bit obvious that you want to hear certain advice, experience ect but completely disregard anything you don't agree with. So why copme and ask opinions?

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 13:36

for hs is barking

Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:36

Becky, it's quite a holistic approach, designed really for children with AHAD or dyslexia, my friends child had glue ear and didn't speak til he was nearly 7 yrs, these tutors got him back into main stream school so I do trust them.
I thought they would help her with her maths but tbh I haven't seen a lot of maths work come home, they said she was fine so we let her do what she enjoys, incredibly detailed drawings, lots of stories she has written herself and other literacy based pieces.
I believe she is very talented and am terrified she will end up like most of my family, very bright and achieving feck all. so if I seem to have gone the other way fair enough, but I know many people doing a lot more than 4 hours a week of puzzles and games.

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Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 13:38

agree with FIT - I also sailed through primary school, didn't find anything difficult, got 96% in my 11+ exam blah blah - it was a state primary with 30 in a class and all I did out of school was my reading book and learning my tables! That was it - the rest of the time I played out with my friends, went to brownies, choir, running.

Your 6 yr olds needs time to chill out and enjoy life without any pressure. Childhood is short enough. She will do just fine.

queenceleste · 02/10/2006 13:41

Hideehi, have you talked to her teacher in detail about the tutoring and what it consists of exactly - i.e. how the four hours break down in terms of play/creativity/literacy/numeracy? That may be the quickest way to clarify what's going on for yr dd. If the teacher doesn't know all about it then it would be hard to assess how your dd is doing.

Just speaking from my own experience - I have found again and again with my ds that working really closely with his class teacher works best with any difficulty he's had. But I have been lucky with his teachers - both very experienced and sympathetic.

As a parent governor I've seen lots of information coming in about monitoring G&T pupils and ensuring the school identifies children and aims to meet their needs for stimulation and extra work etc. but it's a sensitive area of course! You can look at the various government education sites and maybe see if they describe what constitutes g&t - I'm not sure how that is assessed myself.

Good luck with it all!

Original poster

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 13:41

Piffle se does attend a Drama class but has no interest in horse riding, dancing etc, we've tried them all at great expense, had 6 weeks then the collection of equipment gathers dust under the stairs.
Of course she bakes, and as I have stated many many times, they are playing in the garden collecting leaves or whatever at the tutors house. I don't have the time or tbh the interest to do that with her, so the tutor does.

magnolia1 - you are off on a tangent, i'm asking about one subject and you are answering something completely different which you have a strong opinion on, fine but I didn't ask for it.

flying fish - I only speak english i'm afraid ??????

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