That artichoke isn't funny anymore - 10/10 porkers thread

[CoupleofKooks]

For people who like to eat a lot of fruit and veg but also need to lose weight. We suggest 10 portions of fruit and veg a day, plus at least 10 mins of extra exercise. Weigh in day is Monday. No Atkins stuff or anything like that please , just healthy eating and exercising.

CoK - yy, I am old and my eyes are grizzled and grey and I would deffo like to see big electronic numbers! I'm sure it would be good for my morale to see ounces being lost!

The dress does look rather fab, though I say so myself! Though sadly, it needed red FO shoes with a heel. Since breaking toes many eyars ago, i cannot do heeels

I have these though www.barratts.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product1_10055_-1_146560_10553 do you like??

I'll sit next to you here, Kooks, so you will look ridiculously skinny in comparison.

aw molly don't be daft
the shoes are gorgeous! more fun than cliched heels i think
when i first read your post i thought you had broken someone ELSE'S toes when wearing heels that would be the kind of thing i do

i have a lady come round to play with ds2 for an hour but i can't do what i want and collapse on the sofa with trashy book as i think she is judging me
because the house is so messy and my children are unkempt
so i am pottering about and trying to pretend to do things in the kitchen

this has been a tough week
ds2 has not gone to bed before 10 pm
it's a long day when you start early and don't have any school or nursery or anything

I lost this thread.

Have not been keeping on teh straight and narrow. Meal with friends, family meals, eating too much of the wrong thing.

Still 11st so lost nothing but gained nothing either.

Erratic eating:

weetabix, o juice
quarter giant muffin (in-service day, nightmare re food)
banana
salad of cucumber adn tomatoes (loads), some feta and black olives
mango yoghurt
pork, red pepper, mushroom, cashew stir fry. Small portion and hardly any noodles at all.
Toffee popcorn

8 portions. Not bad.

well done those of you who have lost. I need to focus and try to get into the 10 band.

pointy NOBODY LOST THIS WEEK
we are ruddy remedial table of dieters
put me right someone if anyone did actually lose weight
but i have me - zero
guad - buggered off
avi - on holiday eating scones (i forgot to tell you, we ordered cream tea and there was no clotted cream and avi had a right mardy over it )
pink - zero
ellie - zero
tiger - zero
pointy - zero

we are officially a bit shit

STOP THE PRESS
i definitely saw a 9
put it on the spreadsheet before i put it back on

cream tea without clotted cream?

oh god, whatever I do manage to lose will all come to nought come July.

See that huge shiney beachball on the pincnic rug on that cornish beach?
The one next to the pile of golden, pasties and the tray of scones and cream?
That's me, that is......

today
1 slic wqholemeal toast, butter and marmelade
1 prawn pasta salad, iceberg, tomatoes, peppers, onion, cucumber
1 fat free yohurt
grapes
blueberries
kiwi fruit

turkey stir fry with mange toutes, carrot, bean spouts, peppers, mushroom, pakchoi, greens etc

appple juice

lots of cycling

lol @ remedial taBLE

Today not bad:

weetabix and o juice
banana
yucky turkey and 3 new taters and peas and carrots (small porsh)
pickled baby beet (did not succumb to biscuits)
tiny portion of dd1's chicken and pepper curry (no rice) made in Home Ec
2 jacobs
houmus (just past use-by date - gag)
lots of baby plum toms

1. Not bad. And no crap.

you and your baby beets pointy

oh sorry i was meant to be listing and i rambled

some pasta salad
slice carrot cake
quiche with leeks, peas, mushrooms, spinach salad, tomatoes, cucumber, mayonnaise
lemon curd tarts (home made)
too much chocolate

i was going to report ds1 was almost completely better about bedtime again but then he went all wrong again last night and we were up till 9.40 pm and i was in that zone where you are externally saying "no it's fine darling" and internally going "oh GOD oh GOD oh GOD oh GOD oh GOD"

not much i'm afraid fran

we food manufacturers are skint tight careful with our limited cash

did you know that the manufacturer has to pay a fine on top of what goes to the customer?

if you fuck up royally enough it can be £25k

I did do lots of walking today

you will note i am not listing

dd2 only woke up ONCE last night

this was M+S tiger they are not skint!!!!

jeez i did indeed know that about the manufacturers (from that book on supermarket scandals) but didn't know it could be that much, what sort of a fuck up would we be talking for £25000?

i was feeling guilty about the vouchers as i wrote it, do you think i should not complain then?

oh tiger
is that a first? do you think it could become the norm?

oh no don't feel guilty - claim away - M&S won't be paying for the vouchers though, it gets passed back to the manufacturer (along with the fine which will be minimal if it's something like a bit of stalk)

it would be the sort of fuck up that results in an entire batch of something being removed from the shelves - an incorrect date code or something that grows yeasty or mouldy colonies before it should for instance or if the recipe is wrong

i have been sent out to buy everything i can get my hands on before now to stop it happening

she slept all night for about a week when she was about 6mo, then the teeth started coming

i do hope it becomes the norm

oddly enough i am feeling m,ore rough than usual today having had longer spells of unbroken sleep, i need a couple more nights of it to recover properly i reckon.

How is ds1 tonight?

ds1 was so tired tonight he fell asleep ok, the problem last night was that he'd actually had a lie in, in the morning (happens about once every 2 months!) and was not as tired as usual
it wasn't that late, he was just taking a bit longer to fall asleep than usual, and this freaked him out
poor funny child

i agree, one good night's sleep really screws you up! i sometimes feel like swimming through treacle after a good night, or even a bit hungover

LOL at having to buy up all that you could! it's an interesting job

it's acres of dullness interspersed with the odd exciting bit - i have been thinking about it a lot recently obviously with imminent return

funnily enough the day after i found out i was pg with dd2 i was sent on a buying errand, it was great, i got to go "fuck" and "arrrghhhh" and "eek" in private without the office needing to know why

aww poor ds1 it must be awful if you don't like feeling tired or don't understand it

i like snuggling up in bed but it took me months to persuade dd1 that it's actually good to feel tired

when she was having ishoos we let her choose a book to put under her pillow so that she would have good dreams, she still does it now, is ds1 to old/wise for such tactics?

that's interesting about the manufacturer carrying the can. Never stopped to think abou that.

I have only complained once when there was a chunky bit of bone in a tesco 'boneless' cocktail sausage and it broke half of a tooth. I paid about £40 in filling work. Think I got £25 vouchers.

I wonder if the manufacturer had to pay 20 grand

LOL acres of dullness

i think ds1's problem is partly that he has to lie still at bedtime without talking (and previously without anyone with him)
he is quite an active chatty person and he likes to be with people and interacting with them
when he can't get to sleep quickly he gets bored and then annoyed and then sad and then panicky
he wants to get up and do things instead

my mum and my sister are coming today
bad combination
arriving right when ds2 needs to go to sleep
to a messy house and 3 tired people

weetabix, apple juice
banana
3 meatballs, 3 new taters, peas and carrots
one shortbread finger
salad of cucumber, tomatoes, feta and black olives

7 I think. What do those little oily fruits olives count as?

eek at family visit!

I am in a fizzy meltdown of pmt and dh-being-away and party organising. people keep ringing me at 10pm and expecting me to sort out accomodation and stuff with 1 day notice.

blueberries]rasps
strawbs
kiwi
(4)

carrot
couccous
lettuce
cucumber
peppers
(4 )

baked beans
tomatoes
(2)

franny - do story tapes not help atall?

ds2 has a special aural wallpaper celtic moods cd which he is allowed to listen to at then end of everything and it stillmanages to send him off pretty well after 5 years

ellie he has a special relaxation cd for children but he never really got on with it
we keep saying we will try story tapes but i suspect he'd just stay awake listening to them - i don't know
he was ok ish tonight but some frustling at beginning
"i am thinking about that king kong book" (that would be the one that i told him not to look at in the library as it would be too scary )
"i'm too hot can i go to sleep in another room"
"my foot itches"
"i'm bored"
"my foot REALLY itches"

etc

pointy olives are not on my very extensive f+v list
it's because they are completely vile and no-one should ever eat them let alone try to count them as one of their portions
(do you think it's due to the salt content etc?)

family visit was ok, i get so wound up thinking about all the things they are going to say to me and then they are not too bad
you just remember all the critical comments from the past though and your mind fills in the gaps
that's madness really but i do it every time
the boys enjoyed it
i ate a LOT of things after they were gone
just to stuff down the rather wound up and drained and turmoily feelings and bury them in carbohydrates