Oh EM....you sound really distraught, but turn it around into the fight against this. Slowly it will dawn on you that the only way out of this shit bleak smoking hell is to not have any more, not one not half of one, not even a puff...you need to know that and tell yourself that, and believe that its a possibility, do anything but smoke.
Thats the reason you tryed to stop in the first place, it really is hard, mainly mental torture id say, but it is soo soooo soo worth it in the end.
I know you feel weak, but every single fag you have till your next quit just kicks your confidence. Pick a day this week and try again.
My mum has so far been lucky, stupid arsed doctors telling her they would never have known she was a smoker after listening to her chest a few years ago, well you would know now, she spends her time trying not to cough big green dung balls up.
She looks 80 instead of 56 wrinkled out big time.