Can I stop forever?

[grahamgreenefanatic]

I need to stop drinking forever. I've always drunk to get drunk since I was 18, I'm now 45. Is it better to say 'never again', or 'small achievable steps at a time' Is there anyone out there who can help or who feels they need it?

Sorry to hear about the shingles, coolma, it can be debilitating but isn't always. Unpleasant type of pain tho' (neuropathic, or 'nerve pain') which can be hard to control with normal painkillers like Paracetamol or Ibuprofen. If it lasts long or is particularly nasty go back to your GP and ask for Amytritylline (antidepressant in normal doses but good for this type of pain in a smaller dose)

DH out with mates. Will probably go to bed with Joe Orton (diaries)except don't really feel like him tonight. Scanned the bookshelves, nothing inspiring, feel like a glossy, but newsagents is shut.

Hmmm..

Hope everyone else is OK this Friday night. Have a good weekend.

Ooh, I've got the diaries. Found them quite funny when I first read them, want kenneth williams' now.

Local concert was good & kids enjoyed it and I had lemoonade.

I feel totally comfortable now about the whole giving up thing and am really enjoying it.

Coolma - shingles sounds miserable and painful. Hope it doesn't go on too long.

miss nash- so proud you abstained amongst all that temptation you are without a doubt on a roll.My rioja is lying in the kitchen one bottle between my and my mate.My challenge is wether I will be off for a second.I wouldn,t hold my breath. I have decided to try my hardest,I am just so pleased I have not had a tipple for a full whole week to be honest...any way well done you. Do you have any temptations tonight or is it quiet for you?

By the way good luck to everyone else in our thread lets hope its a quiet one tonight for everyone.

I hope you are ok, Coolma. My brothers have had shingles and both suffered terribly. It can make you quite depressed.

We are all going out tonight, which I'm not especially looking forward to. I'm not worried about the alcohol, but I'm concerned about cigarettes! Just whacked a patch on. They say that nicotine can be helpful for colitis. If only....

Hope you managed to stick with the one D&S. Am off for a ginger and lime plus takeaway with DP.

Think clear headed SUnday to enjoy with kids and family plus maybe even get a few odd jobs done.

miss nash- true to form I did just stick to one,bottle that is. However, had a very stressful situation arise. My good friend rang me to say she would be late due train delay. 5 mins later there is a knock at my front door.An old lady who lives opposite was standing there blood streaming from her leg wanting to know if my dh was there as he is a gp.dh has gone away with ds to see his parents, so I took old lady back to her house,where there were pools of blood everywhere [she is on medication for her heart] and had ruptered and scratched a vein on her leg.As we walked into living room my neighbour suddenly went hysterical, she had realised her pet budgie had flown out of the front door when she had come to get me.I then had to ring paramedics who came and bandaged her up. they said for her to stay at home.Poor neighbour was sobbing and sobbing re her little bird.I then started trying to find him,me feeling really upse too, no sign of him.Then I had to clear up the pools of blood, I sat with her for a while made her teaetc. I felt really awful as I had to leave her to get my friend from station.neighbor assured me she was alright. My friend arrived we were just chatting away and there is a knock again.Poor lady standing there blood every where again, rang paramedics they took her to hospital.Such an upsetting evening.I rang hospital this morning she was discharged from a e at 7 o clock.I felt really bad I couldn,t hve gone with her cos my 7 yr old dd in bed, and so upset for her little bird.I am going to call over a little later to see how she is.Its a shame she has no one, only a brother who does not care.All in all it was an eventful evening.sorry the tale is long but that is how I ended up havving a tipple too many.

I was gonna write good job you weren't pissed..! Sorry...I have had really distressing stuff to deal with on occasion...but ,,,and this is an aside, none of it was made better by getting pissed...BUT....I know 'normal' drinkers who have a drink after an upsetting event..so, yeah, I suppose that is normal..

BUT, speaking personally, I would have used it(too) as an excuse to drink...is that what you are doing? , like as in 'oh i had a shit night, no surprise I drank...type thing??'

Cos to be honest right now, I could use ANYTHING as an excuse- I have so much crap kicking off...

I am not having a go, just ..well, y'know...being honest with yourself and all that...

Anyway...sorry if that comes across as unsupportive, I don't mean it to be..just everyone has shit thay have to deal with, y'know?

Crikey D&S. That sounds like a nightmare but I would have been useless as am incredibly squeamish and am feeling faint just reading about the blood. And the poor budgie.

I can see that this is a situation that might make you feel like a drink but do also agree with teasle that think when you are prone to drink/ smoke/ eat whatever too much then any excuse will do. Have been there many times with cigs.

And again this is not meant to be unsympathetic but I guess that is why if you really do decide to give up/ cut down you have to have strategies to deal with what you will do in those circumstances. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and convinced myself that drinking/ smoking etc doesn't improve things and only makes you less able to deal with them. This sounds smug i know but thinking it doesn't mean I'm going to always do it .....

That said I hope your head is not aching too much and tomorrow is another day etc etc.

Have been feeling very tempted by DH's half drunk bottle of wine glinting at me every time I open the fridge this evening but have managed to stick to coffee by convincing myself that as said bottle was very cheap from local corner shop it is probably disgusting.

How's everyone else doing - GGF? Coolma etc.

But and however used to be my favourite words.

I'm doing well - 4 days without a cigarette as well, but feeling knocked out by the shingles . I didn't think I would feel so rough. Still, it's certainly a positive in stopping me smoking, and...........it's one year tomorrow since my decision to stop drinking - woo hoo!! As I said, have had a couple of 'lapses' but haven't been 'drunk' since 2nd feb 2009!!!!!

Hi all, I've done 16 days without a drink, in this time, I've lost quite a decent amount of weight, probably due to both not drinking alcohol and not having the munchies.

I'm not really bothered with having sparkly drinks etc, I'm quite happy drinking water.

I've also got a bottle of my favourite wine in the fridge and I've not been tempted to touch it.

Good morning everyone. Hope everyone's weekend was good by and large.

D&S, Icouldn't agree more with Teasle and MissNash.
I sympathise with your hectic evening but unless you factor in strategies to cope with times that don't always go to plan then, I think, one may as well not try at all.

It is the case of feeling one 'deserves' a drink at these times, just as one justifies a drink to celebrate on certain occaisions.
It is also the growing 21st century phenomenon of 'instant reward'.

I try to think back to the war years when people really suffered. They suffered hunger, hardship and grief; but there was not the prevailing attitide to feel that all negative emotions should be cushioned. I fear that is what our generation has got used to.

Instead, perhaps next time, you could dine out on the 'reward' of having helped your neighbour and done all you could for her during a distressing time.

As MissNash mentioned, it could sound smug, and I really don't mean to at all.

Actually, being nice to people makes me feel happier than a bottle of wine.( Yes, you get the exuberance from wine, but you don't get the fulfillment that you get from an altruistic act.)

Good Luck D&S

Coolma, was going to ask about the shingles, but see you are having a rough time. (See previous post re shingles)
Well done with the smoking and hip, hip, hooray about the drinking.

MIFLAW 'However' is still a lovely word, as is 'moreover' whatever the context, sorry, I've hijacked my own thread..

It is really really hard not to feel you 'deserve' something after dealing with a stressful or even a good situation - whether it's with cigarettes, drinking or eating. The advice I've always tried to go with is to try to be able to differentiate between 'good' rewards - new clothes, a nice bubble bath etc, and those which you believe are good, such as the above. I find it bloody hard still. Quite often I'll come home from a tough day at work and think I somehow deserve a drink (still!) - I'll make myself have a bath or read a crap magazine while I think about it and quite often the urge has then gone. It's never going to be easy I don't think but the long term benefits are huge.

coolma hope you are much better shingles is so nasty.
I am back on the wagon again now the hangover has cleared, the resolve reappeared .
cymbid wow 16 days many congrats that is fantastic.Brilliant about the weight too.It is without a doubt the munchies as well as the booze that piles it on.

Surely GGF in the war years people were always taking things to get them through the bad times without even realising that they were bad - healthy cigarettes, tonic wines, quick tot of Coke with real cocaine, tasty cholestrol soaked suet puddings with extra treacle

Where did it all go wrong to turn us into neurotic bundles of nerves with health obsessions.

Am finding Feb a bit tricky - desperate to give myself areward for getting through a month even though annoyingly it isn't quite as didn't start until 3rd Jan.

Maybe will have to go and sit in Anderson shelter and realise how lucky I am while smoking an untipped cigarette.

Coolma - so sorry shingles is so grim. Hope you're feeling better soon.

miss nash I suppose they did have all those things in ww2 but in miniscule portions.I think the beer was all well watered down.Probably would have taken a whole keg to get the desired effect.Good luck with a nice reward, what about an Indian head massage very relaxing.

I could have killed a bottle or 2 of wine and a few packets of cigarettes over the past few days. Sadly nothing has been available to the tune of excess. The bottle of wine I had earmarked for myself was drunk (at least in part) by dh, and I didn't smoke anything. It is helpful to come on here and to see that I am not alone. I may not be an alcoholic (yet), but I am a past master at feeling effing crap!

Hmmm well I am quite pleased so far. I have had some alcohol but not much and in the kind of quantities I think are acceptable. Avg of 5 units a week. That is more or less what I want to stick to. If I can, all is well. If I can't I will stop again. It's my birthday on saturday and we're going out for a meal at lunch time with my parents - I'll be driving. In the evening some friends are coming round for the evening - that will be the real test. The first one anyway.

graemegreenefan- are you keeping up the hard work, you are so right about our current reward /self gratifying society .I am currently having a foodie trigger sort of moment watching the hairy bikers on tv , they are discussing paella which in my mind is almost a word association for the dreaded wine.Go away evil alcohol fairy, go away I say.

Bonsoir all. A special treat arrived today - a case of wine from some friends - late Xmas present.

Feb still a bit of a challenge and have had to eat giant lump of cream covered cake as "treat" and am now feeling a bit sick.

Thanks for the thought D&S but massages etc not really my thing - too healthy. Need to resort to something like a selection pack of Nik Naks or some Pork Scratchings (Mr Porky - what a genius name).

I have however revisited Ginger ale and lime and it is immensley good.

Have got girls night in on Friday and am wondering how to manage. It would be so easy to succumb to sudden impetuous temptation so need lots of good vibes from all on here to get me through.

Well done all whether tee total or cutting down. How are you getting on GGF?

Thanks for your thoughts D&S and Miss Nash.

I reaaly feel as if I shouldn't be posting because I finding it all absolutely fine and haven't been tempted at all. What we all need is empathy and maybe a bit of a slipping off the wagon now and then, not smugness. so I shall really try not to be.
I have helped myself to half the selection box that I've told the children they can't have and also eaten 3 frozen muffins (big ones, not even freezing them keeps them safe from me) So I not only felt quite full and sick, but tired suddenly too, 'cos I've eaten so much.

However, stuck to tonic water et al. I've not found myself feeling as energetic as I thought I would, which is a bit disappointing but there.

Posh Wellies, have you got your results yet?

I'm still struggling with 'will it be for ever', won't I ever be able to have a drink.

I can prove to myself I can stop and not miss it, what I can;t do is drink moderately.

Ithink generally, we are all doing pretty well and trying very hard. That shouldn't be forgotton.

It's lovely to see your posts, keep them coming

Hi - I see this thread has moved on lots and lots. Just wanted to add my support and say YES IT CAN BE DONE! Honest.

I gave up 4 years ago and haven't touched a drop since - and I was a binge drinker (not every day, but when I had a drink it was never just one glass of wine and towards the end it wasn't even just one bottle IYKWIM).

But I stopped dead after a very embarrasing work night out. I would say that I had previously given up for about 8 months, but living in London I used 7/7 as an reason/excuse/justification to have a drink - two bottles of wine that night and another 6 months of weekend binges until I finally got the message.

What I'm trying to say is that for me, I can't drink normally and those 6 months of trying to were so much harder than simply stopping. I suspect that even now, if I had even one drink I would want more, so I don't have the first drink.

Good luck to each and every one of you.