Can I stop forever?

[grahamgreenefanatic]

I need to stop drinking forever. I've always drunk to get drunk since I was 18, I'm now 45. Is it better to say 'never again', or 'small achievable steps at a time' Is there anyone out there who can help or who feels they need it?

That's it of course! Ooh, didn't know he had a third, will look out for that.

Sorry for thread hijack

MIFLAW I think that sounds like really sensible advice.

I think my DH would always have had a strong propensity to drink - he has a fairly addictive personality, which he is now chanelling for good (eg, he is training for a marathon, and studying for an MBA).

He can never do things by half - including drinking.

I am sure his upbringing affected this as his Dad is such a "strive for the best at any cost" person. In some ways this is great, he is very dedicated to things, but equally I think this did affect his drinking.

My parents were much more of the "do what makes you happy" school of thought.

We want to bring up our child with a combination of wanting them to work hard and achieve their full potential, without making them feel like they are a failure if they aren't top of the class!

Are alcoholics/ heavy drinkers happy people? Could they ever be considered to be content? I don't know any anorexics or bulimics who are helpful to themselves or who have any great liking for themselves.

Eating disorders have been taken far more seriously over the past 30 years, and treatment has become more effective, and suffering alleviated to a greater extent. Is it the same with alcoholism?

Drugs are being developed to treat alcoholism and there is much debate as to how they will be used. Big Pharma against AA.

I realise that counselling is impossible if the patient is drunk. It is not especially helpful if the patient is mid-binge either. There are no 12 steps involved in treating eating disorders. Why is it the only option for alcoholics?

"There are no 12 steps involved in treating eating disorders. Why is it the only option for alcoholics?" Yes there are - it is certainly less common in the UK than the US, and less common outside London than within, but Overeaters Anonymous definitely exists. In fact, it seems like there is a 12 step approach to almost everything these days (though only those involved will be able to tell you how useful they are.)

The problem with drugs for alcohol abuse is that alcoholics just stop taking them when they want to drink. Antabuse, for example, is extremely effective - but only if you swallow it.

Drugs for alcoholism I've not heard of, if by that you mean drugs that enable an alcoholic to drink "normally". Not that many alcoholics WANT to drink "normally" in my experience - they just want to drink alcoholically and get away with it, which is a bit different.

I agree - I didn't actually want to drink 'normally' what's the point?! That may sound flippant but that was how I was - and probably still would be if I let my guard down. I don;t particulary like the taste of alcohol either, it was just the 'answer'. I envy people who can have a drink and stop, but, although I have managed that recently once or twice, there's always an empty feeling, not satisfied, wanting more. It's really unpleasant, and the only solution, if that is how you aer feeling is to completely stop.

I'm interested, Coolma, you say you've managed to drink a couple of times, albeit not satisfyingly, but responsibly. Did you give up forever? And what made you feel that you could tackle some alcohol without getting sucked into the vortex of abuse again.
I'm quite frightened of trying it again. I have no reason to believe that my next drink will be any different from the way I've drunk for the last 25 years. Therefore, I don't think I can risk drinking again.
let me know your thoughts

I've found that I AM able to drink responsibly, although I'm still riddled with issues to prevent me having sense at all! This is perhaps why I was wondering how happy people are who drink a lot.

"I'd sooner live my life trying to "control" chronic diaorrhea. " Well, some of us do have to live trying to control chronic diarrhea. Drugs work for me, mostly.

I thought I should 'try' to drink 'normally' so at christmas I did have one or two, but as i began to feel drunk, I got so scared that I just had to stop..I know I would carry on and on and on until I got out of control again. I honestly believe I have to be stopped for good now I hope that makes sense. I guess, because I'd been totally dry for 10 months, I was more in control - if I'd tried in early into my non-drinking days I'm pretty sure I would have continued.

Well, if you know of any drugs that control alcoholism, do let us know!

How happy are people who drink a lot?
My guess is not really but it does depend on what a lot is.

I'm pretty globally happy, but I realised that what and how I was drinking was threatening that; more and more I was feeling guilty about my health and behaviour.
I wanted to put a stop to it before it put a stop to me.

If you have reached your 'Nadir', or lowest point, I don't think you can possibly be happy

If you are physically dependent, I don't think you can be happy.

If you are dependent on a drink in order to feel happy, you are kidding yourself. That is not happiness, however it feels in the first 15 minutes. That is surviving (and you're not doing that very well either)

There are so many variables to consider when regarding happiness.
You may be able to stop drinking but if you are unlucky enough to have any other problems then of course they will influence how you feel.
I can only think that too much alcohol will only exacerbate background unhappiness. If you drink too much it will never make better a basic unhappiness

Naltrexone is a drug that is currently being studied. It makes drinking boring. It is given by depot injection, and seems to be very effective in some cases. It is among other alcohol treatment drugs which are causing a lot of arguments between Big Pharma and centres who use 12 step programmes. Some people are afraid of these drugs diseasifying normal drinking, and treatment centres are certainly afraid that they would no longer have so many customers.

On the other hand, they could potentially help a lot people in alcoholic hell. Big Pharma is looking at all sorts of different drugs, because of the effect of alcohol on the brain, and the different ways people drink.

My unruly bowels are controlled by drugs, I saw the end of 15 years of food hell with drugs, and my depression is kept in check by drugs. At least then I only have the psychological stuff to deal with.

I don't understand how a drug can make drinking "boring". In any case, I found drinking boring for years - or at least, not particularly exciting. It was a requirement like food in my life, not a treat.

It's the psychological issues that make alcoholism what it is, not the drinking as such. The drinking is just a symptom.

Am curious about this drug though so will Google it later.

Also, if drinking is boring, surely you just don't drink at all? While I can see that that would aid abstention, I already abstain. For me, a "cure" (if there was such a thing) would make me a normal drinker and happy to be one. I can't imagine either of those things ever happening.

Big in the USA Naltrexone.

If anyone could help I'd be grateful !

My vaginal wall fairly suddenly has started to feel baggy. I had a root around and found a small piece of inner skin hanging out. Has never happened before.

Sometimes when I lay in bed it feels like I am bearing down!

I often feel a bit wet down there and now a bit achy. For the last month, almost everyday, I've felt period type pains.

I've had no bleeding at all. Have booked dr appt but feel so worried.

Any ideas??

ooops thought I'd started a new thread- just ignore then

YIkes LMS - that was a bizarre thread hijack! Hope you get some good advice on your own thread.

ANyway just reporting in to say am on day 27 and feeling v good. Went out with my friend last night and it was a real pleasure to not worry that she was watching how much I was drinking and wondering if I'd lose it again. Enjoyed ginger ale with lime and ice as a good substitute for wine.

Coolma I can see how especially after months of not drinking it would be easy to think that having one or two to "be sociable" would be tempting. I have those feelings now but have realised that I just would be tempted to drink more and then the "pleasure" would be lost.

interesting convo about an anti alcohol drug. I gave up smoking with nicotine gum but its not clear why that should be any easier to quit than smoking - maybe because it changes the rituals surrounding the addiction. I did go on chewing the gum for quite a while before I quit for good.

But smoking doesn't affect your judegement in the same way that alcohol does and am not sure if alcohol has the same physical additction effects that nicotine does.

However in stopping drinking I have tried to change some of my alcohol related rituals which has made it easier.

Hope everyone is doing well. Am about to have big glass of Coke.

I found quitting drinking a lot easier than smoking wierdly! I am at this moment on day one of my latest stop smoking attempts! I did last three years from 2004 - 2007 but started again about two years ago and this is my third attempt since then at trying wish me luck - am patched and inhalated up so hoping for the best. I so want to be fit and healthy again.

Good evening all,

I'm glad you enjoyed your evening out MissNash; I've just been to our local too and had the most horrid half pint of diet pepsi. I just resent paying so much for those tiny bottles.. I think I'll go with the ginger ale and lime next time.

Good luck Coolma with smoking. Try to enjoy the thought of taking your clothes off at the end of the day and them smelling clean (well, at least not smelling of smoke)

Think of your lovely fresh breath

Buy yourself an indulgent 'glossy' with the money you've saved.
If you've done it once, you'll be able to do it again.
It is a well known fact that the more times you give up, the likely you are to succeed.

Let us know how you get on.

Hope everyone else is OK
It's 2 weeks for me tomorrow...

Goodnight.(sings Sailing By)

Interesting different points of view on here- nice to see differing views not degenerate into a slanging match too!

Now for something completely boring-
ooh- ginger and lime- that IS a nice drink..

I get mightily sick of non alcoholic drinks in pubs. Wouod rather have a nice mug of cocoa with a good book in bed

I drink a lot of lime and soda if I'm not drinking alcohol. It's cheap cheap cheap!!

It's so difficult I think, that the psychological issues which have led to the self-destructive behaviour cannot be properly addressed while the person is still in the grip of their habit. As I've said already, counselling is pointless if someone is mid-binge, drunk, high, or whatever.

Eating disorder units seem to be far better funded than alcohol departments, and treatment appears to start much sooner.

There has been some research into the Chinese plant Kudzu and it's benefits with alcohol cravings and reducing consumption

Cranberry juice and soda; orange juice and soda; cranberry and orange juice mixed - all good drinks.

Especially good for men because you can normally get them served in pints without ice and it means you visit the bar roughly as often as your mates instead of being up and down like a yoyo - especially if, like me, you're one of nature's quick drinkers ...

When feeling more ladified i've always been partial to a virgin Mary, too.

I used to call it a Bloody Shame, MIFLAW ...