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Original poster

support thread for people who are about to lose a loved one

383 replies

saint2shoes · 23/01/2009 11:19

my dear old dad who is 81 has a aggresive Brain tumour.
The doctor has just pretty much said there will be no treatment apart from steroids.
he has got bad really quick. in October I have a picture of him looking OKish(my sm died in early September) Then at Christmas he looks so ill.
he is in Hospital and looks so small and frail.
I know I am not alone and could do with talking with othere people who are going through stuff like this.
I know a lot as my mum died of a brain tumour when I was 18.

OP posts:
NancysGarden · 07/02/2009 14:40

I'm so sorry 2shoes. My thoughts are with you all.

Thank you for your post NormaJean, I will look up that poem.

Last year when I found out about my grandpa I found this lovely children's book in the library (forget the title) but it was about a badger who settled everything and said his goodbyes to all the woodland folk before he went for a very long sleep.

I don't know if there are staff in the hospital to do the MRI over the weekend, but think that there might be he's in a specialist hospital now. I won't hold my breath because they've been saying they will do this procedure "tomorrow" for over a week now.

I would just like him to be comfortable. Like all of you.

lottiejenkins · 07/02/2009 14:57

The book is called Badgers Parting Gifts..........
www.amazon.co.uk/Badgers-Parting-Gifts-Susan-Varley/dp/0006643175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=123 4018573&sr=8-1

NancysGarden · 07/02/2009 15:06

Thanks Lottie, it is lovely isn't it?

LilRedWG · 07/02/2009 15:21

Thinking of you Nancy. x

lottiejenkins · 07/02/2009 15:24

Yes it is Nancy..........Its on the reading list for Winstons Wish,..............

bellavita · 07/02/2009 15:31

2shoes - I am sorry for you loss xxx

2shoesformyvalentine · 07/02/2009 18:26

thankyou. I will post later

2shoesformyvalentine · 07/02/2009 21:17

Thank you for all your kind messages.
it was all a bit sudden. I saw him yesterday and he seemed "better" even his mate said that.
I got a call about 10 oclock from the hospital, they said he was really poorly and having trouble breathing, I asked "do you think this is it" and the nurse said yet. I was shaking like a leaf.
by the time I was ready to leave(about 15 mins later) they phoned and said he was gone.

I phoned DB and he was at stonehenge so still miles away.
but weirdly I got to the hospital, parked and he drove in.
It has been and awful day, but thank god for my brother and his wife. and dh (who walked miles to get dd's hair cut)

tots2ten · 07/02/2009 22:16

2shoes, i am sorry to hear about your dad.

LilRedWG · 07/02/2009 22:30

Take care my love. Take care.

tots2ten · 07/02/2009 22:33

lilred, just read your message about your dad, i am sorry.

ThumbLoveWitch · 08/02/2009 00:34

2shoes (and LilRedWG) - so sorry to hear your sad news.
I lost my mum 1 1/2 years ago very suddenly - we only knew she was terminal 8 days before she died - and it is bloody hard. We sat up with her on her last night and I felt so guilty for wishing she would just slip away - then at one point I wanted to rip all the tubes out and say for god's sake, can't you see she is fighting this, there must be something more you can do for her. And finally she was at rest - it is so hard to deal with all the conflicting emotions you have but it does resolve and it is part of the human condition to have this conflict.

love to you all on this thread - my Dad has prostate cancer now but they are hopeful of a good outcome for his treatment - so fingers crossed, I don't want to be the most senior member of my family just yet.

LilRedWG · 08/02/2009 09:58

Thank you.

LilRedWG · 08/02/2009 10:00

Thumblove - I'm so sorry about your Mum, and now your poor Dad. I will hope and pray that his treatment is sucessful.

fryalot · 08/02/2009 10:00

lilred - how are you today? have you been sleeping much?

2shoesformyvalentine · 08/02/2009 18:21

Thank you for all your support. And love to everyone who is going through this horrid time.

KiwiKat · 08/02/2009 19:18

So very sorry, 2shoes. x

NancysGarden · 08/02/2009 21:23

Evening ladies, have been watching this thread todya but avoiding posting on it as I fear upsetting others. How are you getting on Lilred and 2shoes?

My poor Dad is completely confused. I think (hope) it's the medication he's on. He's been trying to convince people to get him discharged as he's sure they are giving him the wrong drugs.

I'm still full of 'flubug and haven't been up to much all weekend. I hope this goes soon as inertia just makes me think dark and sad thoughts.

I wish you all strength and energy for the coming week. xx

2shoesformyvalentine · 08/02/2009 21:33

my dad was like that, seemed to forget things very quickly, I did feel part of it was being in hospital. every day is the same and there is nothing to tell you the time iynwim

2shoesformyvalentine · 08/02/2009 21:33

nancy you won't upset me.

NancysGarden · 09/02/2009 09:58

In a bit of a state this morning. Dad has had 2 seizures and is now on ICU, the size of the tumour is much bigger than they told us last week, they are doing the surgery today definitely but they won't be able to remove it all now because of its size

2shoesformyvalentine · 09/02/2009 11:00

oh Nancy will be thinking of you all.

Sidge · 09/02/2009 14:11

Thinking of you Nancy, I hope his surgery goes well and you can visit him soon.

LilRed and 2shoes - how are you doing?

fryalot · 09/02/2009 16:30

oh nancy! thinking of you and your dad today.

NancysGarden · 09/02/2009 18:29

Thanks all.

I've been waiting all day to hear. The surgery took nearly 5 hours but with quite a positive outcome that's all I know, I've not been able to speak to anyone yet.

Will post again later when I hear.

Hope everyone else is ok