support thread for people who are about to lose a loved one

[saint2shoes]

my dear old dad who is 81 has a aggresive Brain tumour.
The doctor has just pretty much said there will be no treatment apart from steroids.
he has got bad really quick. in October I have a picture of him looking OKish(my sm died in early September) Then at Christmas he looks so ill.
he is in Hospital and looks so small and frail.
I know I am not alone and could do with talking with othere people who are going through stuff like this.
I know a lot as my mum died of a brain tumour when I was 18.

do you know how long you have left with him 2shoes
i know what its like and im thinking of you

it depends, but it does seem to moving fast. so have to make the most of each visit. I go in every other day.(he doesn't remember the days) it is a 2 hr round trip and draining to put it mildly.

oh 2shoes, i'm so sorry.

Do you know I think the way elderly people seem to 'shrink' so fast is heartbreaking to watch. Thinking of you, take care.

poor old bruv has just been to see him, says he is all emotional today and keeps telling DB he will have to look after me

I am just bumping this up for you, 2shoes. I'm sure other people have been there too and can sympathise/empathise. Your poor brother too.

took ds in to day, he found it REALLY hard, good thing dads clener turned out so I enforced the 2 visitors rule and sent ds off to the cafe.
good thing is I got to see my db for a few mins and had a hug.

2 shoes I went through this a very long time ago, but it was my dad's kidneys. I was 24, not that much older than your wee ds! When you have really very little 'life experience' of birth, death and the like you just don't know what to say or do. All those bags and tubes and things. My thoughts are with you,and all your family.

...and also with any others waiting for a sad end to their stories, in the spirit of the supportive thread!

2shoes, I am so sorry

i know how it feels too..July last yr.,I lost my Dad.I was so close to him...but-in a funny kind of way-it was that closeness that's got me through it.Thinking of you.x

inzidoodle your poor Grandad.

I wish I could wake up and it not be the first thing I think of one upside of having a disabled child is they keep you busy,

thanks, I am ok then wham I feel like I could cry.(namechanged but I am 2shoes) I knew it would happen one day, but I thought I would have longer.
he has spent the last 10 years looking after sm who was ill(he had 18 years of looking after my mum) and I hoped that he would get a bit of time to just be iynwim. to do the things he hasn't been able to do.
When I see him now he is just so small and so confused. he keeps saying the nurses take the call button away at night(I checked they don't) and other random things, and he has trouble with what is real and what isn't. it is just so sad and so hard to see. i feel like standing there sereaming that I want my dad back

oh yes, he tells me he loves me and how precious I am to him(and has told big bruv he has to look after me) I am kind of dreading tommorow as DH is comming sohe will be all emotional with him. he had a visit form his x priest yeaterday and they had a lovely chat.

his preist went in to day to do comunion so that will help.

2shoes. I'm so so sorry about your Dad. My Dad was diagnosed with inoperable cancer on 23rd December and I truly feel your pain. Mum is also pretty ill and in hospital too.

You wanting to scream that you want your Dad back has really made me fill up - I know just what you mean.

Much love. xx

LilRedWG it is like living a nightmare, sorry to hear about yours.

I agree - it is like a nightmare. I'm going to see Dad tomorrow (he's at home) and then Mum in hospital on Tuesday. It just feels so so wrong.

I'm going to bed now to try and sleep. Take care. xx