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The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

991 replies

TopOfTheCliff · 06/07/2024 22:30

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

What It's Really Like To Receive a Cancer Diagnosis

This Mountain Lion analogy is a great way to help understand what it feels like to live with cancer.

https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

OP posts:
Thread gallery
71
TopOfTheCliff · 28/01/2025 16:36

That seems cautiously good news @SierraSapphire although it would have been nice to get the actual result. Does your hospital do online access to test results?
I decided to go out on my bike with my gang today as I had been lurking indoors for two days. It was showery and blustery but we had a lovely 30 mile ride for coffee by the sea and I feel better for it. I only have two more days to wait for my 2ww clinic and am staying quite calm. I have my new Puffin jumper on that I bought as a reward for being brave 😀 and am planning to book a holiday once all this tough week is over.
@PaperbackWrighter when I called Macmillan with my tales of woe (after my diagnosis, losing my DF, breaking my ankle, getting my car smashed in the night and falling overboard) the very kind lady agreed I would benefit from somebody to talk to but couldn’t provide anything just told me to find a private counsellor. I actually found a lovely post cancer yoga class that helped me instead. I now feel that explaining to a stranger all the additional ridiculous things that have happened to me (another cancer, my hip replacement, losing both PILs, DH being beaten up and admitted to hospital with an abcess) just seems a bit attention seeking and unnecessary. I think I have made an unconscious decision to just turn the page on the past and make a new life free of drama and sorrow. What is done is done and can’t be altered. It is how I go forward that makes the difference. I don’t feel weighed down by events, and I am enjoying life most of the time!

OP posts:
SierraSapphire · 28/01/2025 17:00

No online test results, no email, it's like being in the 1980s at my hospital 😂.

I sometimes use ChatGPT to talk things through with, I find it really useful, and there was some research done that showed that people felt AI was more empathetic than a real counsellor!

Well done at getting through the days @TopOfTheCliff - and fingers and everything else crossed.

PaperbackWrighter · 28/01/2025 17:25

That's funny that people found AI more empathetic! Counselling/psychotherapy has worked well for me at other junctures in my life. But I wasn't limited to four sessions then. I think at some point in the future I may book in for some sessions with my old therapist, paying privately, as I think processing and considering stuff will really help me continue to move forward. I also have ongoing family issues which haven't exactly improved since my cancer diagnosis. Sometimes I find talking to a stranger really freeing, as you can say what you like about who you like without worrying about hurting anyone, and of course you build up a relationship and they're no longer a stranger!

tothelefttotheleft · 28/01/2025 17:45

@PaperbackWrighter

That's what my counsellor said to me!

Four sessions was not enough.

GrannyGoggles · 28/01/2025 20:21

Lucky old you Top, explaining to a stranger is for you attention seeking and unnecessary. I will take that forward as I move on without drama, and turn the page.

In the meantime explaining to a stranger is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done

I'm very pleased that you’re finding your way through and doing well

FairyWren7 · 28/01/2025 21:40

@PaperbackWrighter and @HellonHeels Ive had the sugar comments as well - from my Dad! I was overdoing the chocolate. Pretty much sugar free now and it hasn’t really changed anything,
I sometimes wonder about the stress thing but it’s a red herring I think. But what is self care after cancer is really important - we’ve all been through a river of poo and need to build ourselves up again.

Be lucky! 😀

FairyWren7 · 28/01/2025 21:58

@TopOfTheCliff and @GrannyGoggles

I’m interested in the chat about counselling. I’m now where Top is thankfully - but it’s taken a good while to get here. I also had a list of calamities (they should have called me Calamity Wren!) in such the surgeon said - one in a million statistically. He’s right of course as I am one in a million but not in the way he meant! I take it as great luck that I’m still kicking about…

I think recovery mentally zigzags - it’s very up and down and you may find your resilience is a bit low - it may be that things you took in your stride feel more difficult.

I called the helpline given by my cancer care provider - the ladies there were good at listening but not practical really. I had my own counsellor via a referral from my gp. I also did some journaling when I was well enough. Small lists - tick them off when you achieve them that sort of thing.

My recovery was made harder by being away from my family and a lot of my good friends. I think you get quite insular anyway.

I found the support thread so very helpful. Other people just don’t get it. Which leads to a distancing…

I’m starting my volunteer work today. Am running a workshop on Saturday and am basically setting up my own tutoring business. This means I can have lazy mornings - dog walking etc. And do tutoring late afternoons - still have time for my art class etc.

Another positive milestone this week is that I’ve finished the very long year of immunotherapy - I really hope my energy levels improve.

No sign of surgery dates but I did have a text and online form asking re interest for cancellations. I really hope I get it done before July/August. Here’s hoping!

Good news about the test etc @SierraSapphire - I’d give them a ring. You should be told the info!

demivolte · 28/01/2025 21:58

I had the Macmillan counselling last year, I hadn't had counselling previously and I found it quite helpful, mainly in making me realise I probably need more counselling. It's a shame it's being cut.

I'm glad to hear of the good results @Remaker and also what sounds like good news @SierraSapphire, though sorry you've had to piece it together yourself instead of getting a clear result.

Best of luck @TopOfTheCliff, your jumper sounds great and well done on getting out today.

I initially wondered why I got cancer but eventually came to the conclusion it was just bad luck (and not as a result of drinking tap water, as one person suggested).

FairyWren7 · 28/01/2025 21:59

@demivolte tap water - ludicrous!

TopOfTheCliff · 28/01/2025 22:25

@GrannyGoggles I am not sure how to read your post. I get the impression I have upset you by saying how I felt about my own lurid technicolour history. It was not meant in any way to belittle or minimise anybody else’s experience and I am sorry if it touched a nerve. I found the psychotherapy sessions I attended hugely healing. For me talking about things is less helpful than experiential therapy, meditation and visualisations.
I am one of those annoyingly cheerful people who makes bad jokes when in trouble which is often inappropriate. We are all just trying to get through.
I hope you find talking to a stranger helpful even if it is hard. Sending best wishes.

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Choppedcheese · 28/01/2025 22:37

Hi 👋 I have a thread about struggling mentally post cancer in 30 days only and a lovely poster suggested this thread, so popping in with my first post here!

SierraSapphire · 28/01/2025 22:49

That was me @Choppedcheese, welcome! There's generally someone around to chat to with a range of experiences. This is the third thread and we have posters who had a range of cancers, some of us here since the threads starting and some newer, but many of us have felt exactly as you do now!

PaperbackWrighter · 28/01/2025 22:58

Hi @Choppedcheese- lovely to have you on the thread. This is such a good place to chat to people who know how you feel about a lot of stuff. I'm a newbie here myself - having jumped on a few months ago now.

Remaker · 29/01/2025 00:16

Welcome @Choppedcheese. This is a very friendly group. It’s so helpful to be able to chat to people who really understand.

TopOfTheCliff · 29/01/2025 09:34

Welcome @Choppedcheese . When you feel ready do tell us where you are now in your recovery.

OP posts:
dotty2 · 29/01/2025 10:02

It’s my birthday today, the sun is shining and I have a day off with DH. Low key pottering and a pub lunch planned. I’ve already been for a swim which was good except that I left my vest on over my costume by mistake in a bit of a senior moment. Tbh, I do find birthdays and Christmas are a bit of a trigger for regret and anxiety, looking back to more carefree times, worrying about what the year ahead will bring. But I will aim to keep a lid on it today. Welcome @Choppedcheese This is a great space for whatever gentle encouragement you need to help in your recovery.

thesandwich · 29/01/2025 14:08

Happy birthday @dotty2 .

SierraSapphire · 29/01/2025 17:51

Happy birthday @dotty2 - mine a couple of weeks ago was the third one since I finished treatment, and actually I didn't have the feeling of doom/maybe it will be my last one et cetera this time, so hoping that feeling has gone and never comes back!

tothelefttotheleft · 29/01/2025 19:57

@dotty2

Happy Birthday!

Your post about leaving your vest on reminds me of the pregnant mumsnetter who forgot to put her bikini bottoms on when she went swimming!

FairyWren7 · 30/01/2025 02:21

@dotty2 Happy Birthday and welcome @Choppedcheese - now that’s a great username!

This is a great thread - it’s helped me loads and I hope it can do the same for you!

SierraSapphire · 30/01/2025 06:11

Is today your clinic visit @TopOfTheCliff? Sorry to remind you if it's not! And good luck if it is.

I haven't phoned up about my CA125 result because I'm not brave enough 😂. I'm just going to assume everything is okay and wait for the letter.

TopOfTheCliff · 30/01/2025 08:26

Happy belated birthday @dotty2 every one is an achievement now! Hope it was a happy day.
Thanks @SierraSapphire yes it is at 1.40pm. I think head in the sand is a great coping mechanism but I have been brave this time. It Will All Be Fine. Gulp.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 30/01/2025 09:30

Sending positive vibes @TopOfTheCliff

dotty2 · 30/01/2025 09:52

Sending love, @TopOfTheCliff and thanks for the birthday wishes. It was a good day - DH and I have been stuck in a bit of a rut where all we talk about is the kids, elderly relatives, work and our ailments, so it was nice to go out and do something different together.

To share some lovely (off topic) news, DD2 has just had an offer from Cambridge. Not from the college she applied to, and she doesn't actually know what the grade requirement is yet as she hasn't had the official confirmation from her new college or from UCAS, but I'm so pleased for her - she is a late developer academically and has had a lot to cope with.

MissMarplesNiece · 30/01/2025 11:53

@dotty2 Congratulations to your daughter.