The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

I hope all went well @Remaker

Also just popping in to say everything crossed for you @TopOfTheCliff

Hope all went well @Remaker and sending you all the positive vibes @TopOfTheCliff

All well here as we brace for the coming Storm Eowyn. I have been keeping busy and today went well. I got a whole car load of bike clutter offloaded at the recycling centre plus two bags of charity shop stuff dropped off. I feel lighter for that! Then I bought my favourite cheese and had coffee with friends and lunch with DD then got my hair coloured before Saturday's Dinner Dance. I have been sorting out dress jewellery tonight and trying on things. I am beautifully distracted and not thinking about the 2ww clinic. DD has offered to come with me but I think that gives it more importance than it deserves. I shall sidle off to the clinic alone and hopefully come home cheerful. I rate the chance of bad news around 3-5% so am not going to lose sleep over it unless it happens.
Who is in the path of the storm? Are you worried? Stay safe!

Good, you're managing to distract yourself @TopOfTheCliff. I haven't heard anything about my CA125 result, so I'm figuring nothing terrible is happening, though I guess I still might get a letter saying it's creeping up we need to keep an eye on it, though I've got no particular reason to think that. I do seem to be a little bit back in the space of worrying that every single twinge and pain is cancer recurrence.

It's windy here, but I'm still going to a meeting, if I can be bothered to get up off the sofa and have my breakfast and then go and wash my hair! I'm working from home the rest of the day so I might try a gym class early afternoon. Hope everyone else in the UK is okay in the storm.

I'm in South Scotland so all schools and most shops closed. Its very windy, secured garden last night to prevent anything flying around, large tree down locally already 😯

Hope you keep safe @Catswithhats . Where I am, in West Midlands, it's a bit windy but nothing too bad, thank goodness. The storm seems destined to miss us.

It's pretty windy here in the East Midlands, but not too alarming. Hope everyone is staying snug and safe. Liking the sound of your glamorous do @TopOfTheCliff - posh jewellery and new hair! We are going to hear some comedy tomorrow night and for Japanese food beforehand. Does anyone else have nice plans?

I have survived my first week in my new role. I'm sure it will get easier but I was absolutely knackered and unable to think on Weds night after my second day in the office. I went to pick DD up at 9pm from a dance class in DH's car and sat in the car park with the engine running trying to remember how to turn it off... I last commuted to London regularly over 15 years ago, and it's over 2 hours door-to-door. I am supposed to be going in 1-2 days a week, but am considering asking if I can do consecutive days and staying over some weeks to make life a bit easier. On the plus side, I am much less likely to snack in the office, and I keep setting off a bit late and having to do a v brisk mile walk to the station so I am getting at least some exercise.

Sending positive thoughts to everyone waiting for results or recovering from procedures.

Thanks for the kind thoughts. Colonoscopy was uneventful and nothing of concern was found! And the sandwiches and tea afterwards were amazing as always.

Ah that's good news @Remaker! Glad you're back on normal eating!

I went out for a muddy walk this morning with my friend in the bright sunshine which was lovely, then I had lunch with my brother, which was also nice. I'm now trying to decide whether to go over to the gym for a swim and spa or whether I should just sit on the sofa watching TV. I'm still watching the post anxiously for my CA125 results, no post at all this morning!

Well done for surviving your first week @dotty2 - the initial bits of a job are bound to be tiring as you're still trying to work out what's what. I have found on the opposite to you and I am more likely to snack in the office than at home!

Has anyone found that since recovering from cancer they've discovered their anger and ended some friendships/relationships?

I went a bit mental last year (it was the start of my Letrozole & Zoladex) and got really angry with a lot of people, most of this anger has subsided now and I've apologised to people and re built bridges. But some people I can't forgive for their crappy treatment and I've cut them off - I'm seeing things through a clearer lens now. Is this normal?

PollyCreo as I began treatment I binned a friend. She took a prurient interest in other people’s illnesses. Over the years I’d heard her talking about googling and advising people, and discussing with it with others, relishing every detail. I knew she’d do that to and about me. I could only stop her doing it to me, so I did. She was also endlessly negative about EVERYTHING. It has had quite a ripple effect but I don’t regret it.

An old friend of my husband’s didn’t know why I was so worried, he knew I’d be fine, and why didn’t I just come to the pub and get over myself and get on with life. The week after surgery, waiting for full pathology and treatment plan.

On the other hand, the depth of kindness and support from family, friends and some neighbours was heart warming and life enhancing.

Good luck with your pruning and bridge building.

@PollyCreo I absolutely relate to what you said. Life is too short to put up with the users, and those who see friends with illness as a source of entertainment. After my bust up with Gold-digging Friend before Christmas I have felt lighter and freer not having to admire and validate everything she does. I am actively working on deepening my good friendships now. I am seeking out the company of good people and helping those who need it, and it is heart warming.
Yesterday was a brilliant day. DH and I rode a 70 mile cycle event and although it was really cold with ice on the roads I layered up and slogged round. Afterwards we jumped in the van and drove home to change into our glad-rags and go party. I was doing a conga to the Proclaimers 500 miles at 11pm. I am now lying in bed groaning while DH plies me with bacon pancakes and coffee. I think he is quite pleased with me! I got lots of positive comments last night as I had a nice haircut and highlights.
Today I am going to slob around and then cook a nice roast later.

It sounds like you had a great day yesterday @TopOfTheCliff , and bacon pancakes and coffee sounds like a very good recovery plan.

I was lucky in that I didn't have any unhelpful friends, though certainly some random shit from passing acquaintances. But the 'clearer lens' thing I can identify with, and it's something to try to hold on to - to try to remember what matters and not waste energy on people or situations that aren't important.

I also had a lovely day yesterday, though much less energetic than Top's. I had an unexpected free morning and walked into our lovely (if rough around the edges) market town and bought a few bits and pieces, all from small businesses (some flowers, a loaf of bread, a birthday present, some bright yellow primulas for by the front door). The sun was shining and I felt unaccountably happy. I did a few jobs in the afternoon and then went out for dinner and to see some comedy with DH - pretty much the perfect Saturday.

Sending good vibes for all of you waiting for test results and excellent news on the colonoscopy@Remaker. Everyone's weekends sound fun, especially yours @TopOfTheCliff - I love a conga!

I just had an interesting experience - first session of the Macmillan four counselling sessions. The counsellor was really nice but then we were talking about the impact of stress on the body (or she was when I said I wanted to minimise stress in my life) - she said yes and too much stress could be something that would affect whether you had cancer again. I pulled her up on it and referred to CRUK Does stress cause cancer? | Cancer Research UK

Does anyone have any thoughts on the link between stress and cancer? Just interested. Since speaking to my team about it back in the day when I was diagnosed, and reading the above, I was always of the belief that stress can lead to cancer-causing behaviours (smoke, over drink, eat bad food) but doesn't actually cause cancer. I find a kind of comfort in it too.

Is that all you get offered now through Macmillan @PaperbackWrighter, four sessions? It was six when I had counselling from them, and that felt pointless, it's completely cost driven rather than relating to any clinical outcomes. I guess some people are better at getting something out of a very short relationship than I was though!

Research about stress and cancer is mixed if you google the medical journals, some studies find a link some studies don't depending on the type of stress. I certainly think there's a mechanism there as we know stress can affect our immune system which is supposed to spot and get rid of cancerous cells, and can affect our hormones as well, which also have a link to cancer. I don't think I had any risk factors other than stress and trauma and I know lots of other people who've also said that. I felt pretty stressed at work today, and I know I need to prioritise looking after myself. It's so difficult to know what to do for the best though, should I exercise, or exercising putting more stress on the body? It's easier in the summer to just go for a walk but in the winter when it's dark that's just not possible in the same way.

Gosh @PaperbackWrighter that's triggered my rage, the counsellor saying that. Maybe I am being very unreasonable.

I got a bit of rage when I got chat about avoiding sugar from a nurse delivering the handover/intro to the patient open access cancer service. I'm probably being unreasonable about that too.

It was a bit annoying to be fair. Like didn't she realise that talking about stress bringing back cancer might potentially cause me some stress?! And as if being told oh stress is bad for you will stop you being stressed. It's like telling a heavy smoker that smoking is bad for them!

The avoiding sugar thing's annoying too. There's no evidence that sugar is linked to cancer either!

Yes@SierraSapphire four sessions seems pretty daft, I thought I'd just do it anyway it as I felt like talking to someone professional would be better than not talking to anyone! But maybe self-referring through NHS is a better idea, and I'll likely get slightly more sessions. I think this is going to be a bit pointless to be honest.

Thanks for your thoughts on stress and cancer links too - very interesting. I think my risk factors were being on the Pill long term and drinking over 14 units fairly regularly, but I've had a lot of stress too over the few years preceding, so who knows. It's definitely a good idea for me to manage my stress though. I need to get much better at it.

Yes, much harder doing walks in this weather - certainly in the last few days I've had to grab the odd dry slot to take the dog out!

McMillan is not offering any counselling from march. Due to the cost of living crisis apparently.

I guess four sessions is better than none, but charities are being hit really hard by the NI changes, the public sector is being compensated by the government, but charities aren't.

So I haven't had my CA125 result, but I have had a letter making me an appointment in six months, and the consultant said she was going to wait to do that until she'd had my result, so I'm guessing everything is okay, i'll just have to wait for the more detailed letter, but honestly, I saw the appointment letter on my doorstep and I'm a bit shaky now, the stress of it is horrible!

@SierraSapphire Oh I'm so pleased the appt is for 6 months' time meaning all fine now! But sorry for you feeling shaky and so horrible. I'm going to be the same about my first annual scan this June. Now at least you can relax!

@tothelefttotheleft Blimey, I just squeezed in then!