The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Good luck @TopOfTheCliff

Great news for your DD @dotty2 how exciting!

Congrats to your daughter @dotty2 that’s wonderful! My daughter starts Uni in 9 days. I get a bit emotional when I think about it. I will miss her so much but I’m very excited for her too.

Good luck for your appointment @TopOfTheCliff

Hi, different username! I cleared it with mnhq so I didn’t get banned for posting twice 😂(basically I had a strop and left mumsnet hence losing my username and then re registered an hour later, so can’t get my old username back)

basicallt where I am in the journey is officially cancer free as of the end of ‘24 so in theory great start to 2025, but what made me write my other thread and join this one, is the depression I’m struggling with now, just it feels like the last year has hit me only now and just yeah… not really sure how to express it/talk about it, but essentially feeling mentally crap is the summary!

huge congratulations to your daughter dotty that is amazing.

good luck to your daughter @Remaker what is she off to study?

good luck for the appt @TopOfTheCliff

Home to pig out on chocolate now. I saw the doctor who recognised my second cancer in 2022 and she agreed I need a scan while saying the lump may well just be scar tissue. Then she dropped the bombshell that they had no radiologist today so I have to go back in the morning. Arrgh! It was so hard to go into that clinic and sit in the same waiting room. It is psychological torture.
Happily I have discovered Snickers Creamy peanut butter which is delicious so I shall eat a whole pack of them now and feel a bit sick.
Thanks for all the good wishes. I did think of the invisible army behind me.

@Choppedcheeseagain don’t worry we have all done the name change thing at some time. With these horrible emotional lows I find it helps to identify the feeling and sit with it without judgement. After a while it shifts and things change. Are you happy with your diet and exercise routine? We are very keen on this thread on finding things we enjoy.

@dotty2 what a lovely birthday present! Congratulations to DD.

Oh no @TopOfTheCliff , that's frustrating. I guess at least you can go in tomorrow rather than having to wait longer, but I've had various appointments where I think something is going to happen and then it doesn't, it's horrible when you've psyched yourself up.

@Choppedcheeseagain it's a really common to feel lost once treatments ended, one of my worst patches was probably between two and six months after treatment, I was incredibly anxious.

@Choppedcheeseagain I'm almost exactly a year on from you

It seems v common to be hit by depression/a post trauma reaction/anxiety. Label it however you fancy, but the post treatment year can be damned tricky.

The treatment period is structured, things are being done to you and for you. Possibly most of us are just fiercely focused on getting through it

And then……a vacuum, a new world to navigate. Adrenaline and cortisol stop flowing

And you’re told how well you’ve done, how pleased you must be, and that It’s Behind You and All in The Past. And maybe it is for some, and that’s great. For me it remains an awkward presence, not all day, every day. It also could be part of my future.

My experience is that recovery takes time and isn’t linear. We all know about exercise, good food, rest, social engagement, maybe therapy, possibly medication, yoga. I think it’s time, supported by whatever you find helpful, and self compassion. Ask for and accept support. Accept the down days, the anxious spirals. Hopefully they become fewer and less acute.

I’ve come to accept, that no
matter how much I wish that it’s not true, for me cancer has been life changing. Physically and emotionally. And that’s ok. Life can be good again. It just takes a while to recover equilibrium.

@dotty2 What lovely news about the Cambridge offer.

@TopOfTheCliff Bugger. Going back is not easy, and an extra visit is not a bonus!

@TopOfTheCliff I think I understand your feelings when sitting in the same waiting room. I went for a CT scan and cried in the waiting room, I think it was just the trauma of remembering back to my original diagnosis and operation.

So sorry @top that’s tough.
congratulations to your dd @dotty2

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. Off out for ramen tonight (her favourite) to celebrate!

And I’m so sorry for another day of stress @TopOfTheCliff That’s rubbish

Amazing people don't think how stressful that is @TopOfTheCliff but maybe you just can't keep working in that context if you let yourself think about that too much (my only way of making sense of the nonchalance). I very often have to go past the hospital - even sometimes the chemo unit - makes me feel quite sick. I very much don't like going back in there. I really avoid going to the dr.

Haven't been for 2 years when I got a work up for suspected lung cancer that turned out to be a combination of pneumonia and oesophagitis. It's curious what passes for good news these days - I was delighted with the outcome. It is indeed so stressful. I hope you are equally delighted with your outcome Top.

Had a couple of funerals recently (both cancer) that have really hit me - not just the loss - but the associated sense of dread. Won't say more about that for fear of making you all as gloomy as I have been feeling.

But lovely news @dotty2 .

I feel traumatised by the oncology centre, by driving past the hospital, by seeing what in the post, my phone ringing.... I had to get up and walk away from some friends who were talking about somebody who none of us are really friends with who has stage four cancer, I don't know why people think I want to hear that!

And yes @dotty2 - great news for your DD.

@TopOfTheCliff what an utter headfuck. Hope it goes OK tomorrow. Hug xxxx

catching up again! I really need to check in more often as the conversation moves quite quickly.

oh @TopOfTheCliff that’s rubbish for you to go back again. Just draws the process out.

Referring back to the “stress” thing, I find it’s the things that I absolutely cannot control the most stressful: medical appointments, administrative fuck ups, the digging around for a vein multiple times, the contradictory advice/information from doctors, my unorganised employer who forgets I’ve got medical appointments, even though they are written down… I’m quite good at managing my own stress, thank you very much. Now if only everybody else involved could do the same, I’d be most pleased!

Happy Birthday @dotty2 🧁

That is so frustrating @TopOfTheCliff, best of luck for tomorrow.

Congratulations to your daughter @dotty2, great news.

I have similar thoughts about reducing stress @Lilgreygoose, it sounds good in theory but life often is unavoidably stressful. Also being told to avoid stress feels a bit like another thing to do (and then stress about!).

I’m keeping busy here. I’ve cooked a nice mushroom and lentil bake with feta cheese, eggs and yoghourt on top for supper, and started on a huge vegan jackfruit chilli for a family do on Saturday. DH is a bit bemused. This too will pass! Off to do some yoga before bed. I’m turning into a Totnes earth mother 😂

@Choppedcheeseagain thank you! She’s going to do a double degree in Law and PPE which will take five years. She’s moving 3 hours away which isn’t too bad really.

@TopOfTheCliff I’m sorry you’re still waiting. I enjoy a bit of cooking therapy, keeps you busy and then there’s something delicious at the end.

I think I’m ok at managing my own stress but being lumped with my mother’s care is my biggest source of stress. She had endometrial cancer diagnosed around the same time as me. Because she declined radiation treatment she has 3 monthly checkups for the rest of her life. So it feels like I am constantly going to cancer checks which is so bloody triggering. I am soon to be going to 6 monthly checks myself which is great but I still have to take Mum to all of hers!

Now a new stress has emerged which is that my brother has not had the genetic test to see if he has Lynch Syndrome (he has a 50% chance of having it). And I just found out he also hasn’t had a colonoscopy for 4 years! We’re supposed to have them every 2-3. Plus he has 3 adult kids and hasn’t discussed any of it with them. My DD is quite open about it all and is planning to get tested soon. I’ve always asked her to to tell her cousins about it so their dad could do it when he thought the time was right. But if he continues to put his head in the sand I’ll just tell her to talk to his DD who she’s very close to, and she can tell her siblings. My family is weird!

Law and PPE, that’s such an impressive combo. What a superstar!

And breathe! I went this morning for a mammogram and ultrasound and in short they were reassuring. My little lump is a seroma in the scar. No action needed see you in a year.
The adrenaline is slowly draining away and I am so relieved. Thanks to all of you for the moral support. It really does take courage to tread this path.

@Remaker that is a tricky one with your brother in denial. I think my priority would be the DNs who aren’t being given vital information they need to make good decisions. Do they know you have the Lynch gene? Knowing that might make them ask a few questions. But you can’t force anybody to address things if they don’t want to.

Oh thank God for that @TopOfTheCliff - i've been wondering how you were doing and was worried that we hadn't heard from you and it was bad news! I had a scare after about eight months, not clear whether something was granulation tissue or a recurrence, I had to wait for the results of a biopsy. It was hideous! Well done for getting past the last 24 hours and the last week and a half, what are you going to do this evening?

Fantastic news @TopOfTheCliff

@TopOfTheCliff

Really pleased for you!

Is it common to have lumps investigated after treatment?

I'm on my second ultrasound for different lumps ( I'm five months post chemo and four post rads).

Also is an ultrasound enough investigation?

That is great news @TopOfTheCliff

@tothelefttotheleft I've had one lump in my scar investigated with ultrasound, I was told it was scarring/soft tissue. The radiologist seemed confident that's what it was, I assumed she would have said if anything more was needed (I didn't ask further as was keen to leg it out of the room/hospital asap). That was about 6 months post surgery and towards the end of all treatment.