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2005: the flare-loving fag-free club

337 replies

charliecat · 02/01/2005 18:06

Here we go girls

OP posts:
whymummy · 11/02/2005 15:41

hello
hope everything goes well for you fiona andyou get to finish the book with no stress
cc good luck to your dp,my dad gave up easily so did my FIL,my MIL gave up 2 years ago because of her dh nagging but now she smokes behind his back,she says that because he is home all day and follows her around the house like a lost puppy she can only smoke 2 or 3 fags a day,she's mad,she should just give it up

fee77 · 11/02/2005 22:23

Do men find it easier than women do you think? Dh stopped, used nothing to help him and is doing fine.
Mind you he has got such a crap memory he probably forgot he smoked!!!
I on the other hand am in a smoking mood tonight! For the first time in ages, i really fancied one, and it has niggled at me all day.
Have a good weekend everyone - good luck fiona,tough weekend!

minkmama · 12/02/2005 00:37

i actually think they do fee. i was thinking about this recently and came to the conclusion that women are very much emotional smokers whilst a lot of men just smoke. since you can't get rid of the emotional problems and stresses just like that it makes the kicking of the habit that much harder. just a theory! (or an excuse in my history )

i am as you know fg, a perfectionist when it comes to house stuff, but really, that painter of yours, is he painting the sistine chapel???? at least it's done now but i know exactly how you feel, we had a guy here once who took two weeks to tile half our bathroom which was roughly 7m2!! btw, it takes me a day to paint a room incl. prep!

Congrats on dp CC!!!! hope it goes well, tell him we're rooting for him xx

charliecat · 12/02/2005 08:49

Dp says thanks Hes doing well although thinks his lungs are hurting, I wondered whether it was the dreaded smoke me ache but apparently not.
Computer keeps pinging up a trojan horse virus so if I vanish you know its because the pcs died.
Half term everywhere is it?
Any nice plans for V.Day?
So now we just have FGs hubby and my mum to convert is it?...lol

OP posts:
whymummy · 12/02/2005 09:58

hi everyone!
i like your theory minkmama,i've always said men found it easier to give up i know why now.
for some reason i feel awful this morning,looked in the mirror and i look like s**t,im fat,wrinkled,so white i'm almost transparent and i'm even suffering from a dundruff attack!!!!arrgh!!SOMEBODY TELL ME I WILL FEEL BETTER SOON!!!
LOL

charliecat · 12/02/2005 10:10

You will feel better soon....I am the same...lets look shit together....just think when its summer and you can go to the park and not have to feel ashamed that you are chuffing away while you soak up the suns rays....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh roll on warmer weather!!!

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charliecat · 12/02/2005 10:21

liked this...Quitting is really a process and what we are doing now is working through it. Here I am at three and a half years free, and I must tell you, there is no "junkie thinking" in my head, at any time. But, just like the a new quitter, I remain one puff away from relapse. In time, not smoking will be a way of life without the pains of our addiction scratching at the door, hence, that little voice. I often try to remember the times where smoking was just perfect for the situation (a wedding, funeral - etc), just to show myself the illogical mindset I once had. I am so proud and grateful to recognize the truth behind the lies - the stupidity of it all and how my life was once controlled by such a dangerous regiment, both physically and mentally.

For everyone recovering, thoughts of smoking will simply become a form of relief and nothing scary or bothersome. It is sort of like remembering something we did in our youth that wasn't too smart, we shook our heads and wondered what in the world we were thinking. When it comes to making vital decisions in life, it is amazing what a bit of growth and
understanding will do for any situation.

That little voice tried distorting my mindset - I often wondered if being clean from nicotine was always going to be some sort of inner struggle. I was positive that I was different than the rest. Life is different for each of us, but as nicotine addicts the promise of complete comfort is the same. We have taken the time to educate ourselves on addiction, this is where we find the true freedom. Free, meaning that we TRULY UNDERSTAND that we can NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF...no matter what. Living out those situations and triggers associated to smoking and proving to ourselves, that life does go on without nicotine. No more going through the cycles of relapse or constant desires of wanting to quit and never knowing quite how. You are going to feel better, it will not be continuos work. Addiction has no cure, and of course, the remedy being... never taking that one puff. Be assured, you will not have to work on this forever.

The process is like learning to walk - it takes some patience and a bit of work to find our way...we do some observing and whatever it takes to get started...this along with the natural instinct to stand up and take those first steps...once we do....it may feel a bit unsteady...we hold on a bit and look to others for support...we do our best to keep going but we take little steps to keep the momentum going and give ourselves the chance to build up endurance and balance...we must be patient and take our time....before we know it....we are walking freely and all on our own....as time goes by it is natural that we take walking for granted....no more worries or work...we walk steady and enjoy our new freedom. BUT...no matter how long we have been walking freely....we must keep our eyes open and watch where we are going....if we happen to find an icy spot..we must call on our strategies that keep us from falling. There is no such thing as ONE PUFF for addicts, we would always end up taking ALL of them. A fall can cost us our lives.

It has always been helpful for me to read the concerns from new members, this not only serves as a reminder of what it once felt like to be an EXSMOKER IN TEMPORARY RECOVERY but gives me the pleasure to share the truth and hope of what it REALLY feels like to be an EXSMOKER IN TOTAL COMFORT. It gets better and better and I truly mean it. Pat yourself on the back for doing such a great job at working through this wonderful process, your life is certainly worth it!

Congratulations and a big warm welcome to all of our newbies. We hope you are finding the information and support helpful. Don't minimize for a second the great work you are doing, some folks could only dream of beginning this journey. So many smokers want to quit but can't quite find their way, very sad indeed. Just hold on tight because for each of us, the days of complete comfort do come. Thanks for being here with us, we look forward to making this wonderful journey with each of you. If you have any concerns or questions, feel free to get in touch with us. We must hold on tight..our lives are worth any temporary challenges, we deserve to be free from a killer addiction...the way we were meant to be!

Onward with baby steps....one day at a time....not one puff...no matter what.

OP posts:
whymummy · 12/02/2005 16:55

ah thank you cc
i feel better now i might even go out tonight,last chance!!my mum goes back on tuesday.
thanks again i don't think i could have done it without you all
wm xx

fionagib · 12/02/2005 17:04

well done whymummy, it's hellish isn't it when the craving just won't fade.

me and dh being all tetchy and snappy today, prob cos we stayed up too late last night & drank too muhc wine, am actually looking forwards to the boys' 3 mates coming round for their sleepover in about an hour - a bit of bloody jollity around the place, to lighten the mood!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

dh finds it awful giving up, much worse than me even, he is horrendous and I just have to bite my tongue for about 2 weeks. really want him to do it. Took kids for a haircut and when we came back the kitchen stank of fags.

Mind you today he is acting like he'd just quit smoking! Gonna have to think of something to cheer him up later (wink emoticon!)

whymummy · 12/02/2005 17:16

lol fiona hope he is not too grumpy,just make a big fuss,you know what they're like

Cod · 12/02/2005 17:17

Message withdrawn

fionagib · 12/02/2005 17:39

is this cod formerly known as codswallop?

whymummy · 12/02/2005 18:01

thanks cod

charliecat · 12/02/2005 19:25

Ive missed something FG...I thought JG was back ont he fags? Dp has been on the coaster today up down and around but still on it!!!!!
I am surviving too!

OP posts:
fionagib · 13/02/2005 15:59

yeah he is cc (on the fags) was just acting like a quitter!
he's fine today tho, and WE SURVIVED THE SLEEPOVER! 5 boys in a giant bed. Then bowling trip - brilliant fun, would happily do it all over again, xxx

fionagib · 13/02/2005 20:40

it's v quiet here tonight.
mm, how are you getting on, not temped I hope - have you stocked up on lozenges?

Hope everyone else is having a great niccy-free weekend.

ps I am just about to type: 'The End'. Am totally jiggered. But very happy. Need wine!!!!!!!!!!!

mammya · 13/02/2005 20:53

Well I am around, still not smoking, well not since my last "blip" anyway.
Fiona, you must be so glad to be nearing the end. By the way I haven't read any of your books yet but the first one has been on my list of "to read" books since it came out. I'm really behind with my reading, I only ever have time to read in bed before going to sleep and usually I just about manage a couple of pages before dropping off, so it takes me ages to read anything. I used to be a voracious, very fast reader! Motherhood has those unexpected effects...

saffy202 · 13/02/2005 20:56

Hi
is it ok if I join in?
I have been quit since having my last fag New Years Eve. I'm using lozenges which to my utter amazement seem to be working. This was another of my half-hearted attempts but when the first day wasn't as bad as I expected I just kept going! Unfortunately I think I've replaced one addiction with another - icecream!

charliecat · 13/02/2005 21:37

You are doing ever so well for not caving in with dh Fiona...well done...I must say dp not smoking the past few days has made my life easier. Not having to whiff fags at the back door or sit watching him smoke while we wait for him to finish...
And to be on the last chapter ....FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!
Im glad it went well with the boys. Must have been excellent fun for them and you....I find madly the more kids you have the less attention they need from you? I know my 2 with friends disapeer to thier room and only appear when I offer a much better activity or food! But they are up my arse all the time when its just us!
Sorry rambling....that'll be the baileys then!(only discovered last night its bloody whiskey innit!!!)
HELLO SAFFY!
Congratulations... from New Years Eve to here is a good long quit! The lozengers I find are a sort of proactive quit...you urge and you do something...you have a lozenge...very useful!
Most of us here seem to have turned into drinkers rather than smokers so icecreams not so bad!!!!
Tell us a bit about yourself...I am 26 with 2 dds, 4 and 7..smoked from early age till I was 23/24ish and started to stop and failed and stopped and oh...this has gone on forever...has taken me a good 2/3 years to get myself to this point where i feel this is the quit that I dont f**k up on. Smoking has dominated my life but now im in control...well chuffed!!!!!

OP posts:
fionagib · 13/02/2005 23:33

hi there saffy - please join us, it's a very friendly and supportive thread! I was a hellish smoker but been clean for few weeks now, am lozenged up to the hilt tho, gob never empty. I am 40, have twin boys fo 8 and a daughter of 4.

They are al in bed and I am slurping beer (run out of wine!) and trying to work.

mammya I can't read any more either, or cook nice meals - cooking & reading genes withered the instant my boys were born. Why does this happen????

ta for nice comments cc, it's done now, feel whopping relief. and BRILLIANT that your dp has quit! so much easier for you even tho you are a paragon of virtue, lady!!

am away with friends a bit further south in scotland till tue pm as our kids have a 2 day school hol, so have a good few days everyone and NO SLY PUFFS (as if you would) xxxxxxxxxx

charliecat · 14/02/2005 10:37

SLY PUFFS....yeah FG!!! AS IF!

DPs gone to his smoky office/yard today Poor bugger. After 2 days of smoke free living that must be quite hard.
Funny it was watching him go through the withdrawing process. He turned into a hypocondriact...moaning that his lungs were aching and he couldnt breathe...OMG...lol
And im saying Well TBH I think you would have died whilst smoking not because you havent had any....
Compared to me and my crying and whinging and moaning at the unfairness of it all hes done REMARKABLY.
I woke up this morning and made myself a fry up as its valentines day. Sadly from the 10-12 I was once upon a time my 14s are now fitting too snuggly and I may have to do something about it...awww bollocks

OP posts:
fee77 · 14/02/2005 13:33

Don't beat yourself up CC - i dream of being a size 14. I am currently 18 bottom half - 22 top half! The larger lady no less! And incredibly top heavy. I am about to "watch" a fitness video - my other new years resolution! Now i don't smoke i shoulf be able to manage 5 mins!!
Dh and i went out yesterday for a valentines meal and WE DIDN@T SMOKE!! Unfortunately we had to sit in the smoking section, but i can honestly say it didn't bother me. Yipee!

charliecat · 14/02/2005 16:16

Fee would that be watch and not join in...I may join you one day!!!!
Ive never been on a diet before in my life but as my waistband increases ive been thinking OMG...help...so I brought packets and packets of that Special K stuff...was going to do the week long or whatever it was diet...hmmm well Tasha my dd took a liking to the stuff and ive never got round to going on the diet...shes ate most of it. I think that as im dominated by NOT SMOKING Im not going to torture myself by not eating either.
Ohhh what was your V.Day meal? Me and dp arent planning on doing anything. I think ill do a curry later, if anything. Isnt it lovely going out and not having to wash up afterwards.......sigh!

OP posts:
saffy202 · 14/02/2005 19:00

Well I'm 35 with two ds 6 and 11. Suppose I'm giving up for them really. In smoking terms I was probably a late developer - 21 Cut down dramatically whilst pg but never managed to stop completely.
I am putting the money I spent on fags away each day and treating myself! I also have a taste for red wine!
Nice to meet everyone and if I'm right I think I might recognise FionaGib from my days of reading J17?

whymummy · 14/02/2005 19:24

hello everyone and welcome saffy
glad you're all doing ok,today is my 28th day and it really is getting easier,today i went out and spent a fortune on creams for my face, the money i save i'm going to invest it in looking after my skin since a lot of the damage was caused by smoking.what things are you treating yourselves to?